Author Archives: Cupcake
UCI postpones enforcement of rule 1.2.019

USA Cycling is backtracking. Well, no shit… A February letter from UCI President Pat McQuaid to USA Cycling made it clear that rule 1.2.019, which prohibits all Continue reading UCI postpones enforcement of rule 1.2.019
Where’s the Outrage?

Been a whole lot of cheek kissin’ booty gabbin’ dick grabbin’ shenanigans going on lately, must be spring because endorphin levels are high and legs Continue reading Where’s the Outrage?
A Drunk Letter to USAC

Dearest USA Cycling, You’ve released a clarification of the “rules” for us mountain bikers to abide by and only one thing comes to mind; it’s a Continue reading A Drunk Letter to USAC
Peter Sagan Denies Groping

The anticipated denial by Peter Sagan regarding allegations of groping a podium girl at the conclusion of yesterday’s Tour of Flanders is finally here. This Continue reading Peter Sagan Denies Groping
A Tuesday Link Dump

Here’s some stuff to help you get off on the right foot today. Dude dropping the clichés like they’re you company’s mission statement. You give Dirty enough whiskey, Continue reading A Tuesday Link Dump
Songezo, Thou Ballst Hard.

You’ve probably already seen or heard of this story. And I can only hope you don’t come to Drunkcyclist for the latest “breaking news,” because Continue reading Songezo, Thou Ballst Hard.
Old man, look at my bike, it’s a lot like yours was.

An old man on a bicycle told me the hills would hurt, but going down would be delightful. He told me the rain would sting, Continue reading Old man, look at my bike, it’s a lot like yours was.
NOW OPEN: Epic Rides Grand Junction Off-Road

Registration is now live and spots are going fast. If you don’t know much about Grand Junction, take a look at Tuesdays With Dirty from when Continue reading NOW OPEN: Epic Rides Grand Junction Off-Road
Hey, don’t be a pussy.

George will start us off once again… (Transcript adjusted for relevance) Spring cycling used to mean something. It stood for biker attitude. Grimy faces and their torn up Continue reading Hey, don’t be a pussy.
Sagan Balls Hard

Today, he showed the big boys how to ride fast in the rain. On other days, he shows supermodels how to ball like him. Sagan was a Continue reading Sagan Balls Hard
Everybody 1, 2, 3, “Fuck USAC!”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, USA Cycling is fucking bullshit and you don’t need them. Our friend Barry tells the same Continue reading Everybody 1, 2, 3, “Fuck USAC!”