Mission Statement:

At one time, not that long ago, our entire mission statement, start to finish, top to bottom, could be explained fully in this one simple graphic:

We seemed to, ahem, grow a bit since then. As such, we have been working on a new mission statement. Or, we have been working on an update to our mission statement. Which begs the question, really, in that I’m not sure how much you can “update” something which is so completely devoid of substantive content, such as the image embedded above, before you’re no longer talking about “updating” as “completely replacing.”

We’re all over the damn web these days.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/drunkcyclist.
Tumblr: http://drunkcyclist.tumblr.com.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/drunkcyclist.

Here is our glorious archive of old stupid shit: http://drunkcyclist.com/archive. (Be advised, it is 100% NSFW.)

And, so it goes…

Contributors to Date:

Big Jonny
The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure.
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

40 Hands
“A fan of riding bikes with one gear, mainly because I am too stupid to figure out how gears work. I have thrown my hat into the whole racing scene with varying results. I also enjoy malt liquor, riding without knowing how many miles I’ve covered, and strip clubs that let you bring your own keg. I now call Fort Collins home, so I can get a masters degree, and maybe one day actually contribute to society. I typically have a stupid grin on my face, it is because deep down I know that no matter what, my mom thinks I’m cool.”
Denver, Colorado, USA

“Hi, I am Caveman. Bikes, people, IPA’s and cameras take up my time. Kids love me for the great words I teach them. Any place I go, I leave a mark.”
Spokane, Washington, USA

“I am that guy who has a butt-load of hobbies and manages to be mediocre to awful at all of them. Among those hobbies: bikes, guitars, baseball, hockey, writing (books, stories, articles, essays, other crap that no one wants to read), photography. At the moment, I’m a wrench (again), but until recently I was a teacher (maybe slightly better than mediocre). Bikes are cool, huevos rancheros are for breakfast, whiskey is for dinner.”
Additional web presence: D2 Photography
Denver, Colorado, USA

dirty biker
Fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single malt, and single women.
Additional web presence: http://twitter.com/dirtybiker.
Tempe, Arizona/Asheville, NC, USA

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.
Tucson, AZ

Snake Hawk
“Other than the fact that I am a complete trainwreck with homo-erotic dance floor tendencies, I’m pretty great. I’m an art maker, totally in love, and just recently re-established my relationship with bicycles. I happily ride my sub-50 pound cruiser to work up a gigantic hill. Skidding is my favorite trick. And big 180 bonelesses off of dumb shit.”
Additional web presence: www.superissimo.com, http://www.snakehawk.blogspot.com/.
North Carolina, USA

Bike Punk
“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.”
Munich, Germany

This guy wrote the book on fun. And then lit it on fire. Twice.
Phoenix, Arizona, USA

He tried to call himself, “Malibu.” But, you know the rules – you don’t get to pick your own nickname. The word “pineapple” came to mind. Sorta tropical, spikey & rough, sweet on the inside. And so, a nickname was born.
“Bike mechanic, poet, sage, former collegiate hockey star. Ok, maybe not a star.” (This should really be updated. He works for New Belguim now.) “i am full time bicycle mechanic, and all around nice guy. like to ride bikes, but not very far. like poetry, candle-light dinners, and short walks on the beach. i don’t like getting hassled, and i don’t like capitalization.”
Fort Collins, Colorado, USA

Scandinavian Jesus
There’s a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.
Tempe, Arizona, USA

53 thoughts on “About

  1. Yes Rudegirls! One time!

    Your sites awesome. Can I have a poster with one of those nice honnies that have lost some if their clothes?? I’d be ever so chuffed!


  2. I just want a sticker for my pub crawl bike. Can’t find where to buy them on you site. We have a group of hard core pub riders in the god forsaken land called Missouri. We dodge traffic and chug beers at multiple dive bars. Best time you could ever ask for!

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  4. I am an illiterate goat herder from the fjords.
    As such, I cannae write for you.
    But I will drink with you.

    …if you’re not careful.

  5. The Flemish Cycling Museum posted on its website a Bibliography of books that have been published on professional cycle racing in English. It concerns an annotated bibliography summarising each book’s contents and publishing history and includes all books that have been published until 31 December 2012.

    It can be downloaded free of charge.

    It can be found here:

    The book mainly consists of two parts. The first part takes stock of cycle racing books by listing them alphabetically, by author (or editor). The second part of the bibliography classifies the titles by theme.

    This is the first decent bibliography of cycle racing books published in English.

  6. its 2am and look what I stumble upon..old friends I never knew I had, ranting about shit I like, and my half smoked bowl from last night. cheers to all you old cowboys out there still throwing a leg over your girl(or bike). that’s all for now(he drops the mike) Ketchum,USA

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  9. Hey guys! See me! I’m fat and slow. Got a Fatbike, now i’m even slower.
    I always ride to the top of the highest hills around to drink a beer there.
    Now i finally made it, I wrote something in the internet.
    What I call beer is made in Germany, the Czech Republic (where the one and only Budweiser is from) or Belgium.

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