Mission Statement:
At one time, not that long ago, our entire mission statement, start to finish, top to bottom, could be explained fully in this one simple graphic:
We seemed to, ahem, grow a bit since then. As such, we have been working on a new mission statement. Or, we have been working on an update to our mission statement. Which begs the question, really, in that I’m not sure how much you can “update” something which is so completely devoid of substantive content, such as the image embedded above, before you’re no longer talking about “updating” as “completely replacing.” Chicken, egg, you get the idea.
We’re all over the damn web these days:
- Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Drunkcyclistcom/141553642574345.
- Tumblr @ http://drunkcyclist.tumblr.com/.
- Twitter @ http://twitter.com/#!/drunkcyclist.
And, so it goes…
Contributors:
40 Hands
“A fan of riding bikes with one gear, mainly because I am too stupid to figure out how gears work. I have thrown my hat into the whole racing scene with varying results. I also enjoy malt liquor, riding without knowing how many miles I’ve covered, and strip clubs that let you bring your own keg. I now call Fort Collins home, so I can get a masters degree, and maybe one day actually contribute to society. I typically have a stupid grin on my face, it is because deep down I know that no matter what, my mom thinks I’m cool.”
Fort Collins, Colorado, USA
Big Jonny
The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure.
Additional web presence: http://twitter.com/#!/BigJonny, http://bigjonny.tumblr.com/.
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Bike Punk
“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.”
Additional web presence: http://rottenmac.com/365daysofbike/.
Munich, Germany
Brad Q.
“Bikes are cool, and I’ve been making a go at this ‘industry’ thing for a while now. You may remember me from some nine years at Dirt Rag Magazine. Or not. Now I do some writing, wrenching and photography to pay the bills. And run my half of a little magazine project called Urban Velo. We love riding in the city.”
Additional web presence: http://urbanvelo.org/.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA
Bush43
“Long time cyclist, skier and purveyor of all that is good in this life.”
SLC, Utah, USA
caveman
“Hi, I am Caveman. Bikes, people, IPA’s and cameras take up my time. Kids love me for the great words I teach them. Any place I go, I leave a mark.”
Additional web presence: http://www.bentography.com/.
Chopper
“Poet, sage liar. Bike fag, BIKE Mag contributor and lacky who couldn’t handle the discipline required to be a real pro. Bald, slow and generally known to speak out of turn especially when under the influence. He’s got two beautiful daughters who make you question genetics and a wife who could school your ass on a bike any day of the week.”
Ketchum, Idaho, USA
D2
“I am that guy who has a butt-load of hobbies and manages to be mediocre to awful at all of them. Among those hobbies: bikes, guitars, baseball, hockey, writing (books, stories, articles, essays, other crap that no one wants to read), photography. At the moment, I’m a wrench (again), but until recently I was a teacher (maybe slightly better than mediocre). Bikes are cool, huevos rancheros are for breakfast, whiskey is for dinner.”
Additional web presence: http://www.waterloggedaugust.com/.
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA
dirty biker
Fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single malt, and single women.
Additional web presence: http://twitter.com/#!/dirtybiker.
Tempe, Arizona, USA
Erik B.
“I am a lawyer who handles a lot of bicycle accidents, injuries, and assaults on bicyclists in the Tucson area. If you are a cyclist and have been injured, assaulted, or are in need of some assistance in handling a bike accident, feel free to call me. Consultations are always free.”
Additional web presence: http://www.tucsonbikelawyer.com/.
Tucson, Arizona, USA
Flodizzle
Another cyclist toiling away in graduate school. Go figure.
Tucson, Arizona, USA
giantcu92
“I was born a poor sharecropper… No wait, that was someone else. Actually, I was born to a papermill worker and a shoe maker in the great State of Maine. My first run in with a bike was when my parents handed me down the one speed fixie orange bomber with solid rubber tires that all 3 of my sisters had used in their younger years (yeah, we had a big family, Catholic and all = 5 kids). That thing was pretty sweet. I wish that I still had it today. After that, it was a succession of BMX bikes, and I got the racing bug on the dirt track in my hometown. For awhile there, I left the bike alone, you know, finding out about girls, driver’s licenses, and ball sports in middle and high school, but once I got to college, I got back to the bike. Discovered mountain biking, and mountain bike racing, and then I evolved into a road racer after moving to North Carolina and falling into a group of friends who all worked for Cycles De Oro in Greensboro, NC, and who all happened to be roadies. Now, it’s a few years later, I’m a few years older, and have moved to Washington DC to work for the United States Army. I still ride the roads, although far less often than I’d like, and I’ve developed a bad habit of following politics, this beast only fed further by my move to DC. I still watch and comment on cycling, and next year (2010), I’m making the racing comeback. So when you see a sort of chubby kid line up at the local sufferfest, don’t underestimate him, it’s probably me.”
Washinton, DC, USA
Gnome
“I’m little. I ride.”
Additional web presence: http://onespeeder.com/.
Sedona, Arizona, USA
Judi
I love everything bicycle. BMX, Road, CX, Flatland, Dirt, Street, MTB, Trials, Bike Polo, Alley Cats, Fixed, SS, Gears, Pumptracks, Crits, anyfuckingthing with two wheels.
Additional web presence: http://milesandmadness.blogspot.com/.
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Legs
They call him “legs” because he’s got a set of pins on ‘em you wouldn’t believe.
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
little jar
Learned to ride in paved alley behind liquor store in Lowell. 16 – Road bike riding alone while peers do soccer practice. 18 – First new road bike bought with winnings from Project Graduation. 20 – Burlington VT. Nuff said. 22 – Joined the Air Force. 23 – Joined team Fair Wheel in Tucson – rode the Shootout. 24 – Rode El Tour in under five. 26 – Toured to Quebec City 28 – Toured Oklahoma to Vermont 30 – Found my dream bike – a 1989 58cm LaBan (#22) 32 – Experienced Minneapolis and saw BIKE CULTURE. 34 – Building my first bicycle frame, with a self made jig.
Washington, USA
Lovedawg
Our requisite masters rider and multiple time AZ state champ. Just so he can tell us we’re all fat and slow
Additional web presence: ridecleanteam.com.
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA
Marty
This guy wrote the book on fun. And then lit it on fire. Twice.
Additional web presence: http://www.ridecleanteam.com/.
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Patrick O’Grady
“Making stuff up for money since 1977. Making stuff up about cycling for money since 1989. See VeloNews and Bicycle Retailer & Industry News, found crumpled near the crapper in stylish homes and pro bike shops worldwide.”
Additional web presence: http://www.maddogmedia.com/.
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
Pave Fiend
“After several years racing domestically, I finally decided to give it a go overseas. Two years in Belgium were enough to prove to me that I was more suited to other things. But I stayed behind wheels so to speak–this time as an Assistant Director Sportif for Mercury-Viatel. Now I’m back stateside, happily married and feeling nostalgic for Northern Europe and it’s cycling traditions.”
Additional web presence: http://www.pavepavepave.com/.
Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, USA
Pineapple
He tried to call himself, “Malibu.” But, you know the rules – you don’t get to pick your own nickname. The word “pineapple” came to mind. Sorta tropical, spikey & rough, sweet on the inside. And so a nickname was born.
“Bike mechanic, poet, sage, former collegiate hockey star. Ok, maybe not a star.” (This should really be updated. He works for New Belguim now.) “i am full time bicycle mechanic, and all around nice guy. like to ride bikes, but not very far. like poetry, candle-light dinners, and short walks on the beach. i don’t like getting hassled, and i don’t like capitalization.”
Additional web presence (as “Juicebox”): http://www.newbelgium.com/community/blog.aspx.
Fort Collins, Colorado, USA
Snake
Our requisite professional cyclist. Just so he can tell us we’re all fat and slow whenever he gets around to actually posting something.
Tucson, Arizona, USA
Snake Hawk
“Other than the fact that I am a complete trainwreck with homo-erotic dance floor tendencies, I’m pretty great. I’m an art maker, totally in love, and just recently re-established my relationship with bicycles. I happily ride my sub-50 pound cruiser to work up a gigantic hill. Skidding is my favorite trick. And big 180 bonelesses off of dumb shit.”
Additional web presence: http://www.myspace.com/snakehawk, http://www.snakehawk.blogspot.com/.
North Carolina, USA
the sullied cycologist
“measures, daily, just how quickly we are destroying our atmosphere. thinks riding bikes might just help this problem. tapes his middle finger to the handlebar (unsuccessfully represses rage). mountainbikes in lycra. Tomac did it. he does it. he’s not Tomac.”
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA
John Bon Benson
Just another bike geek.
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA