Songezo, Thou Ballst Hard.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestmailby feather

You’ve probably already seen or heard of this story. And I can only hope you don’t come to Drunkcyclist for the latest “breaking news,” because otherwise I’d be worried for your safety as well as your relevance. Not that any of us need the “breaking news” anyways. Fuck the news. Live your life.

Anyways, this cat Songezo Jim, Songezo mother fuckin’ Jim. Now that’s a name, Songezo. Wish I had that name. This kid was the first black South African to ride the Milan San Remo. Can you imagine going from Africa to snow? I can’t either, but I’d imagine it being like going from Africa to snow. And that is cray. It’s so cray that water will vibrate into steam baby. His level of anti-pussy caught my eye and I thought I’d share now that I have a couple beers and some single malt in my bloodstream.

Here’s what the man of the hour had to say about his day on the bike.

“I can’t believe I was a part of it all. It was the coldest I have ever been on a bicycle. Still I would not want to be anywhere else in the world. I still can’t believe yesterday happened and keep thinking I am going to wake up from a dream.”

If that ain’t true love, tell me what is. Other than this.

If you’re interested in the high-rez sprinkle boobs, just click on the boobs:

And then this happened…

As the race went along, the weather went from bad to worse. Jim crashed 70 km into the day and took another 22 km to catch up again. “It was snowing, it was wet and the rain kept coming down. I was riding with my eyes closed at some point because there was no visibility with sunglasses but when you took them off the snow went into your eyes.”

Crashed. Blinded. What else could go wrong for this chirpy young lad on the best day of his life? He saw Boonen quit at the break, along with about 100 other gear dork road masters who didn’t have their nuts in a sac.

“I thought, I am not giving up in this race. I am going to carry on because this is all I dreamed of.”

Fuck yes Songezo, you are the anti-pussy. But then what happened when they forced you into that big, fancy, dark bus of theirs? You can tell us, we are here to help.

“I was so cold I could not take off my gloves or any of my clothes. Our director, Jens had to undress me as my fingers were frozen.”

Wait, what? I mean, I knew about the whole needle thing, but…wait, what?!


Anyways, we can forget about that part. The race re-started after they drove their buses to more tolerable conditions.

“It was great racing with them as they taught me where to sit and what to do. I kept asking them what to do and they told me when to move up. I learned so much from them yesterday, they are incredible guys.”

After sitting, and moving up on the guys, he quit.

YouTube Preview Image

Shit. But whatever, he did his job, because his man won. And he played a part in that. And he also loves riding his bike. He doesn’t take it for granted, and even when the conditions are about as bad as they can be, he stuck it out as long as he could. Plus he’s modest. I dig that.

“While the racing and weather was so hard I was thinking why am I doing this, this is horrible. But then I thought this is what I’ve dreamed about. If I want to be a professional in Europe I have to endure days like this. Gerald winning was just unbelievable. I can’t believe I was a part of it all.”


Songezo, you have a posse.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestmailby feather

About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

One Reply to “Songezo, Thou Ballst Hard.”