Hump Day and then some

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I spend last Sunday in hiding. I avoided the telephone and internet, and most people truthfully, until the magic hour of 2:00 pm. For that is when the Versus channel played the delayed coverage of the Tour of Flanders, the storied 92nd Ronde van Vlaanderen. I wanted no spoilers to intrude on my full enjoyment of the race.

Shit was off the hook!

From: Latin J
Subject: ..did I call this or what??
– Stijn Devolder would eat nails & broken glass for breakfast…….but he
needs more fiber in his diet….

Card Carrying Flemish Bad Ass Mother fucker for damn well sure….

That guy is built like a brick shipyard. God damn if he can’t lay down some hurt. Like when he rode away from the group containing Hincapie as they were about to get caught. Gorgeous George was sitting there looking like a lost little kid as my man Lunch Box soloed the last 25k.

The way to win a Classic is as Devolder just did – alone at the front. Resplendent in the Belgian National Champion colors was an added bonus.

This is my favorite month of racing. It’s all about the Classics. Too bad I live in SupidLandUSA and will have to wait a solid week after the winner climbs to the top top of the poduim before I can actually site down to watch the Paris-Roubaix coverage. It’s running on the 20th. Then, as if that wasn’t enough to break my spirit, the 27th brings Liège – Bastogne – Liège and La Flèche Wallonne (delayed a week!) coverage that runs a mere half hour for each event.

At least those two are on at all. No Amstel coverage. Don’t even ask. Why Gent-Wevelgem gets zero tv time, I have no idea. She may only be a Semi-Classic, but George Hincapie actually won this one back in 2001. Kid Gorgeous has a couple other poduim spots in other Classics – this one he owns outright. That’s right up there with Hamilton’s 2003 Liège and Armstrong’s 1996 Flèche Wallonne victory. Where’s the love? They can’t knock notable programs such as One More Cast With Shaw Grigsby and the World Combat League back a few hours for five days in April?

They are trying to kill me.

Old news already, but you ain’t reading this site for our timely news coverage.

From: Corey the Courier
Subject: Rocky? Really?
I’m all about drinking and bikes, but damn it I must protest on principle! Hillary Clinton must be stopped! She’s gone too far this time.
Corey the Courier
Philly Phorever

You do have to wonder why she compares herself to someone such as Rocky Balboa. The story of Rocky is one of a man trying to go the distance against the odds, and surprising everyone not by doing the impossible, but by how close he got to the title. A man who won our hearts, but still lost in the end. Is that what Hillary Clinton is aiming for? Always a bridesmaid and never the bride?

‘Cause she just might pull that one off. Or, maybe she’s thinking about laying the groundwork now for Rocky I – V; those cash machine sequels that did little more than spoil the true magic of the freshman effort.

Or, the irony.

Authorities say a transient climbing over a chain link fence in Vancouver choked to death when he got tangled in the straps of his beer-filled backpack. Read the rest:

The poor bastard.

From: dan
Subject: Help America – spend your rebate wisely.
The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs or Venezuela. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US.

Thank you for your help.

And, finally, the fun just never ends with this video: Traffic Circle Prank. Word to BikePunk, I cannot get the stupidvideo dot com embed to work w/ wordpress and display in IE7. It works fine with Firefox. So today, at least, it’s a text link.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

16 Replies to “Hump Day and then some”

  1. I didn’t watch, but last time i did there were a ton of commercials, for very little racing .

  2. HA !

    And I can watch the classics live with a cold german beer in my hands, in my undershorts on the couch, while my gut gets big enough for a tattoo of the entire cast of Facts of Life (the latter years).

    Double-HA !

  3. And, those guys are brilliant. Just goes to show you how respected cyclists are on this side of the pond. Bike lanes, no honking (at least not right away…) and no one gets run over.

    I <3 Old Europe.

  4. Ha punk, I’m working an a gut big enough for the cast of Hogans Hero’s with the little french guy sticking out the button hole with a lantern in his hand.

  5. That traffic circle stunt would be a lot harder to pull off in a country that has Dodge pickups & Bush stickers.

  6. I absoluetly loved the prank.

    the traffic cicrle prank won’t work in nashvegas. some rednneck fucker would just get pissed and mow you down. oh yeah, and the cops won’t care.

  7. …i was dumb enough to see the results on the intertubes (chapeau, bp) before i watched the broadcast, which kinda spoiled it…

    …but what was george thinking at the catch when devolder went away…they’re friends & ex-teammates & know each others strengths & at 25k’s out, the probability of being immediately marked wasn’t real high…maybe the group dynamic would have changed if george had also gone but weighing everything, it seemed like a wasted opportunity at the time & obviously later w/ the results…

    …when that catch was made on the climb, you could see george look back…those guys came up fast & then instead of coming through, they seemed to slow down to the speed of the break…devolder goes, george looks at him w/ surprise on his face & bye, bye, baby, that’s all she wrote…

    ,,,hindsight is 20/20 & it’s easy to be an armchair director sportif but that just looked like the time to go instead of waiting to mark tommeke’s moves…

    …& tommeke’s gotta be getting pissed…last year steegmann’s had his measure numerous times while leading him out & now devolder makes a statement…whoa, t boon, but the championne de belge is a true vlaanderen hardman…

  8. somewhere is texas thier is village idiot missing. nice bummer sticker in OR.

    the tubes is some funny shit.. i make the same signal for a left
    turn.. LOL

  9. Great race and wicked crash when that guys hit the curb and his bike disintegrated. There has been some good racing this year and I’m so tempted to pay for but for some reason sitting in front of my lap top to watch bike racing doesn’t appeal to me.

    don’t forget to dl the torrent files and burn them to DVD for later watching.

  10. I think if we had ye olde traffic circles in Seattle and a group Bicycle Enthusiasts tried that prank someone might get shot. Hopefully, though, at least one of the riders would shoot back.

  11. …damn, seems i made a mistake…

    …i thought i was watching the ronde van vlaaderen tape but apparently it was just that traffic circle video, over & over & over again…

    …but hey, it was good for me…

  12. Yeah, yeah, watch out for George this Sunday, at some point you gotta think his bad luck will run out and he might actually win the big P.R. Maybe he’ll get his cocktail right this weekend and roid-rage into the velodrome first.

    There’s also a race called the Little 500 this weekend (i.e. the largest annual amateur spectated cycling event in this country!) Look for the Cutters to possibly win and become the winningest team in the race’s 58yr period while only being in existence since 1980! Sweeet.