Hump Day

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When keeping it real goes wrong:

Woman bicycling with shotgun strapped to back is arrested
It was a sight that would catch anyone’s attention — a woman riding a bicycle around St. Cloud, Minn., late at night in the bitter cold. Turns out there was another reason a citizen took notice: The cyclist was carrying a gun. Read more:

And even more wrong:

DNA trail led cops to unlikely bike theft suspect
On a drizzly day last February, a young, athletic man in hospital scrubs walked into a triathlon-supply store in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood and said he wanted to buy a very expensive bicycle, and right away.

The man said he was an oncologist, and he looked and talked the part. So the staff at Speedy Reedy Multisport set him up with a $6,800 road bike and a helmet, and he sped off for a test ride on the Burke-Gilman Trail, leaving just his name, which he said was Tony.

He also left behind a Tully’s coffee cup — with “Jake” written on it.

When neither the bike nor the man returned, the store called Seattle police. They took that coffee cup and tested it for DNA, which traced back to an unlikely suspect: Jacob J. Bos, a respected 35-year-old podiatrist from Longview.

…Bos is charged in Cowlitz County Superior Court with 12 counts of possessing or selling stolen bikes. He has pleaded not guilty. While out on $5,500 bail, Bos has twice attempted suicide, once by trying to slit his wrists and drive his car into the Kalama River, which resulted in his being detained at a psychiatric hospital in Vancouver. Read the rest:

You almost feel sorry for the guy. What a fucking trainwreck.

And when keeping it real goes right:

From: Hellbelly
Subject: Ride This!
I’m attaching some photos of our river rig. If you have not yet been on a river trip in the area, this is the one for you. No pedaling required and only performance inhibiting drugs. I’ve also included an invite….16 guys, 8 kegs, 4 days. You probably already know some of the crew.

Good looking out.

You may remember the Minibike Winter event I posted back on February 9th. Looks like shit was the bomb.

From: Gabriel
Subject: Re: Minibike Winter – Feb 14-17 – Portland, OR
Just a recap:
It was fucking amazing. These links say it best:

The kids are all right.

From: Corey the Courier
Subject: So many choices
While riding home from work, I noticed a hold up in the line of cars in my direction of travel. As I easily scooted around the vehicles stuck in traffic I noticed a police car was the source of all the road angst. As I grumbled about the patrol car not really serving the public I noticed a dollar bill laying there directly in front of me.

Ground Score!

Now that I was a whole dollar richer, I had a plethora of possibilities for its usage. I could buy a lottery ticket, parlaying my luck infinitesimally. There are always MegaMillions Jackpots in the range of $25-100 million. I could put it in an online bank account in an attempt to rapidly accrue 100% interest. I could give it to a hooker for… …nah, I’d have to pay a lot more for whatever a one dollar whore would give me later. I could be a humanitarian, buying rice for the poor and hungry. Rice is still cheap, right? I could burn it in a defiant display of outrage at the decreased value of the US Dollar versus other international currencies, I could donate it to a political campaign, I could buy a candy bar.

Weighing my options as I rolled closer to my place. I remembered the bodega at the end of the block has a healthy selection of brew…. Bingo, purpose found! A generous contribution to fundage for after work sixpack. You really didn’t expect me to buy a candy bar did you?

Well played, sir. Well played.

The rest of the links and vids:
until the sun shines out of your ass
Frozen Grand Central
Tucson blows doors off the hinges:

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

7 Replies to “Hump Day”

  1. Does beg the question, how do I, a law abiding (hee hee) citizen get my new shotgun home from the gunstore when i don’t have a car?. do I have to pony up for a guncase? and how low pro is that?.

  2. …lemme see…22 year old convicted felon chick w/ a warrant out for her arrest, riding around on a bicycle, at 11:30 at night w/ a shotgun strapped to her back & when the cops pick her up, she didn’t try to shoot her way out ???…

    …where have all the women w/ spirit gone ???…

    …just wonderin’…