About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

39 Replies to “VDB Forever”

  1. If I ever wore a hat like that I’d end the day with a vagina.

    And I really don’t want one of those personally.

    There nice to look at, lick and bang but I don’t one of my own.

  2. I’m wondering how come VDB was baller, but LA is a douche? Is it because VDB didn’t win everything or that VDB got caught? Maybe because VDB was Belgian or he was a flawed lost boy? LA is a douche, but it seems like a movable standard for a known doper, manic depressive, annual fuck up and mental case to be ‘baller’ …

  3. But if you wear a hat like that, you get to be King of the World, at least in your own mind…

    And that’s ok. You don’t need to have one to enjoy one.

  4. …it’s a secret, sven & because you don’t know ‘the handshake’, we can’t tell you…

  5. ‘the handshake’, ???

    Well dear Gawd we can’t give that away easily.

    Now Sven. If you want to know ‘the handshake’. You have to answer a very difficult question.

    What is 1 + 1 ????

  6. VDB was/is cool.

    LA is a douche from the word go.

    Personality plays a really big part of life.

    ‘the handshake’ is given. The answer is 2.

    I need to take a shit.

  7. je ne sais quoi (uncountable)

    An intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive.

    VDB has a certain je ne sais quoi about him.

    VDB, Pantani, Poulidor, Zoetemelk, etc.

    Wish I could think of some Americans to make this list.

  8. “Wish I could think of some Americans to make this list.”

    Cap’n Tony…..douche much ???

    Only Europeans can pull off that level of cool. It’s a simple fact. Get over it.

  9. @12 Now who’s on the rag?

    I’m sorry to see that it’s that time of the month. Try taking some advil then take a nap. And whatever you do stay off your computer until you feel better. Do us all a favor.

  10. @13

    That time of the month is 24x7x365.

    El’ Presidenta Obama has perverted this country beyond belief. Hope and Change ?? How many innocent people has he murdered ?? How fucked up is our economy ???

    What ever rag your talking about needs to be placed strategically up your fat ass.

    Other than that we be all cool.

  11. @14 Your idiotic, pathetic rants make me yearn for the wit and wisdom of Joetheelectrician or littlejar.

    Who woulda thought anyone could be more insane than Joe?

    Since I suggested TripleT as your name, I now rescind that name and dub you TripleD as in douchebag.

    And I still say Joe gets on top. You are definitely the bottom man.

  12. Blah blah blah

    LJ is all yours and you deserve him with your moronic spewing that do nothing but prove what a imbecile you are.

    Kiss my patootie.

    And your fascination with joe is a sign of how much of a poofter you are.

  13. I would call a timeout about now but….

    Your such a rude obnoxious insolent peckerhead that all I can say is Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

  14. This is good fun. We should do this more often. Although insulting you is like beating up on a retarded 6 year old. Not much of a challenge, oh TripleD (douchebag, degenerate and diddler)

    First, let me correct your grammar which is something you would have learned in third grade had you not been thrown out for jerking off in class every day.

    It’s you’re not your. It’s called a contraction….oh never mind I’m sure you’ve lost interest and you’re (you are) beating off right now for the 43rd time today.

    TripleD, you are pork chop ugly which is why your parents had to tie a a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you

    When you were a small child you climbed to the top of the UGLY tree, slipped and fell and hit every branch on the way down.

    You are no stranger to the embraces of barnyard animals.

    Your repulsiveness goes all the way to 11.

    Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

    If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid

    Why don’t you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?

    I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

    I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

    Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head

    That’s all for now. Check back later kids to see if TripleD has stopped
    masturbating long enough to reply.

  15. @18

    Did you have to visit the local University to have that compiled ??

    You obviously don’t have the brain matter to do it your self.

    As far as your v. you’re. That is a fools paradise and the first complaint of all children. I was typing away. Grammar was secondary to making you realize what a douche you are.

    Notice I’m back to “T”. The Turtle Gawd now brings the Great Monty Python to bear.

    “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your gender direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

  16. Triple D

    “I fart in your gender direction” Whatthefuck?

    What is your gender direction? Hismaphrodite? Neanderwoman?

    What chromosomes do you have? X Y or 0 (zero)?

    Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing

    Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

    If I had a face like yours. I’d sue my parents!

    Don’t get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

    You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in

    You are always lost in thought it’s unfamiliar territory

    Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

    I don’t want you to turn the other cheek; it’s just as ugly

  17. Oh shit.

    Ya got me there. Didn’t even notice the gender part.

    It’s “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your GENERAL direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

    YOU’RE still a imbecile peckerhead.

    And it’s Triple “T”. The Turtle Gawd has spoken.

    Have you ever had sex where the woman(man??) didn’t laugh when they saw your dick ?

    Your posts read like something your copying out of a book. Too easy and convenient.

  18. My brain is a repository of information as limitless as the cosmos.

    Actually, it’s called cut and paste. You should try it, penisbreath. Unless you copy someone else’s typo, it will make you almost seem intelligent which is a bit of a stretch.

    I’ll leave you with a few more insults. After you finish drinking, jerking off and projectile vomiting tonight you might want to have someone explain the jokes to you.

    Oh, and in case anyone hasn’t figured this out already, TripleD and I are really and truly great friends who are just joshing. (Well, At least I am)

    Are you ready DDD? Drop your 2 inch cock and hit the down arrow. Here goes:

    A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

    Any friend of yours … is a friend of yours.

    TripleD, Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.

    Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

    Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation?

    Don’t let your mind wander — it’s too little to be let out alone.

    Don’t thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.

    Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?

    Ever since I saw you in your family tree I’ve wanted to cut it down.

    Every guy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

    Fat? You’re not fat, you’re just … fat.

    Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.

    TripleD comes from a long line of real estate people — they’re a
    vacant lot.

    TripleD’s got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.

    Tripled’s so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.

    I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.

  19. “Oh, and in case anyone hasn’t figured this out already, TripleD and I are really and truly great friends who are just joshing. (Well, At least I am)”

    So am I poofter. I actually like you. But at the moment you’re being a peckerhead.

    “Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.”

    I like my head up my ass. Once you get used to the smell it’s a nice warm comfortable place.

  20. I don’t want to jump in to this, but I very much want to know what TripleT is drinking that makes him able to beat off 43 times a day

  21. Joe.

    You make “The Dick”(as El’ Capitan will forever be know) look like a nice guy.

    And that ain’t easy. You should be proud.

    And Jack. Coors Light is the drink of all days. Anything else proves you a poofter and diminishes your sex drive.

    At least in yer head anyways. 43 times ? I’m going for 50 tomorrow.

  22. Q: How is Coors Light like having sex in a canoe?

    A: They’re both fucking close to water.

  23. You stole my joke Joe. I’ve been telling that one for twenty years.

    The only others that I know are

    Why are men bad at math?

    Because they think this(holding fingers 2 inches apart) is 10 inches.

    Why do men fart more than women?

    Because women don’t keep their mouths closed long enough to let the pressure build up

    That is all

  24. “Why do men fart more than women?

    Because women don’t keep their mouths closed long enough to let the pressure build up”

    OK. That was priceless.

    That’s my new fav joke.

  25. Cap’n, I’d wager it’s been in public domain for years. A timeless classic, really.

    A new (to me) fart joke-Now that was worth waking up to read. Thanks, Cap’n.

  26. Cap’n ???

    His nom de guerre is “The Dick”.

    Anything else will insult the entire concept of DC.

  27. joe

    If you smelled my apartment you would understand that I am all man.

    Hell, I ripped one off typing that.

    You and “The Dick” are both dicks.

    That is all.

  28. TripleT Says:>>>>I’m going for 50 tomorrow.

    When do you find time to ride your bike? Or do you ride a fixie and don’t need two hands to brake and shift?