B is for Baller (and Bells)

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Dirty and I felt meme’y after today’s stage win by the Tourminator…

Kris Boeckmanns breaks his chain, Sagan rings his bell. Greipel blows a gasket, and the Tourminator rides straight to fucking Skynet. God damn baller, son.

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About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

26 Replies to “B is for Baller (and Bells)”

  1. Give it two weeks and you’ll know how Sagan does it.

    My money is on the Soigneur’s bicycle, crossing the border from Switzerland to Italy, with 3kg of medication for his pet hamster.

  2. this kid doesn’t give a fuck! he will probably win the next stage, put his arms up and have a needle still hanging out of his arm. all while ringing his bell

  3. Enjoying the show from here for sure. Is the kid doping? Who knows at this point. I suspend belief until proven otherwise.

  4. My road bell was heard at the Tour de ‘burg all last week, but I’m no baller.

  5. …this kid honestly has me wondering if he’s got a chemist friend hidden away in the mountains of the czech republic…

    …maybe that’s my bad for doubting but he doesn’t just win a stage, he kills it every time…you’d think he’d occasionally just edge someone but nope, he kills ’em…

    …could be the baddest baller in town but sort of a big ‘hmmm ???’ in my book…

    …& that’s where cycling has left me these days…i’m questioning what may truly be a clean phenomenal natural talent & all because of the liars & cheats that have preceded him…

  6. DB and BGW doesn’t it make you sick that you know look at winners and ballers and question if they are clean or not? It disgusts me that I think the exact same thing. My joy has been poisoned.

  7. was supposed to “now” not “know”. Good god damn I suck at typing.

  8. …absolutely, bud, abso-fucking-lutely…

    …i’ll always love the sport but now, i’ll ALWAYS have a shred of doubt where it might apply…

    “my joy has been poisoned…”…yep – sez it all…

  9. What dipshits. I hate dopers but you idiots sound like fools. The kid is obviously a serious talent. Enjoy that for now. If he is a doper it will come out.

  10. If he’s doping then it confirms what I’ve always said…. Doping makes bike racing exciting!

  11. …ohhh, did you say something, guest ???…i hope you know we hang on your every word…

  12. “…Doping makes bike racing exciting!”

    Tween alcohol, coke, Valium, etc, etc, etc, 99% of this fucking planet is doped up.

    Can we just please get over it ???

  13. And to the question did Lance Armstrong dope, there are 4 answers.

    All Yes’s.

    1. Yes, Lance Armstrong doped.

    2. Yes, Lance Armstrong is a rude obnoxious prick.

    3. Yes, Lance Armstrong pulled off the greatest feat in any sports history I know of. 7 years in a row ?

    4. Yes, the USDA needs to drop this witch hunt and go get fucked.

  14. I really need to get me some of this “dope”. I can see it all now, rolling up to the local club ride with a smoke hanging out of my mouth and blowing the doors off of everyone there.

    Sounds like a good time to me.

  15. Like a nasty case of road rash filled with debris, the sporting governing bodies have scrubbed and picked it mostly clean. There is no need to drop anything, simply finish the process. If LA gets off fine. If they strip his titles, good. That will be the last of many assholes to be taken to task for there bullshit. Just look at all the cheaters caught in the last 15 years. One kingpin left (not saying all dopers have been caught). If he gets exposed then it will show the truth of the last 10-15 years and that they have worked hard to clean it up.

    Finish it.

  16. It looks like Wiggins sent a message directly to some of you posting in this thread:

    Honestly, they’re just fucking wankers,” Wiggins said. “I cannot be dealing with people like that. It justifies their own bone-idleness because they can’t ever imagine applying themselves to anything in their lives. And it’s easy for them to sit under a pseudo-name on Twitter and write that sort of shit rather than get off their arses in their own life and apply themselves, and work hard at something and achieve something. And that’s ultimately it.”

    The translator readied to deliver the message in French, but before she could, Wiggins picked up the microphone and sent the final message to the cynics: “C**ts! (cunts ? cocks?)”

  17. Dear guest,

    While I understand your hatred for the use of anonymity here on this site. There are couple of things you need to understand. Some people on here have jobs that may or may not look down on the content of this site. Not mine; my boss is friends with some of these guys personally. Others may though. Most people on here are expressing opinion not fact, so it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Calling people names or insulting their integrity over opinions makes you look like the “dipshit” as well as Wiggo.

    Second I never said that I full hearted believed “Hulk” Sagan was doping. I said that due to the events in the past there is that poison of doubt that lingers in the back of my head taking away all the joy I get from watching this sport. I don’t know who is doping and who is not. There is just always a small suspicion. I’ll give you an analogy If someone gets bit by a dog every time they go near dogs, they will have the suspicion that dogs hate them. It might not be fact, but it is a small supported believe. (oh I do know that this is a logical fallacy; if this happens then it must mean this is true) But most people respond that way. I myself am no different. I have been watching this sport for 8 years now. Everytime the TDF comes on there is a doping scandal. Riis, Conti, Landi-poo, Chicken, Vino, etc., So yeah I’ve got doubt.

    Last and not least. if you are gonna talk the talk, then walk the walk! Stop calling people out about their online anonymity, if you are gonna use the “Guest” handle. It makes you look like a hypocrite. Oh and once again you can google me either as Virgil Mutha Fuckin Rufus or as Virgil_MF_Rufus makes no difference to me if you know who I am. Have a great day. Ride on, ride safe, and ride hard!

  18. Alright, I read it. Fair enough. Again, just having fun.

    I would trade your dog bite analogy to that of a school girl with buyers remorse. In this case, some people seem to have gotten their cherry popped by LA or Floyd and can’t seem to get over it years later.

    The Wiggins shit is funny and perfect for this thread.

  19. Wiggin’s rant was awesome! Well deserved too. Assholes who don’t follow the sport (uhmmm ESPN) say the most ridiculous shit about this sport being nothing but dopers. Fuckers probably think since they can’t ride a beach cruiser to the store and back without losing their breathe there is no way people can make it up the Alps without dope.

  20. Fuck Sagan! You just lessened the intensity of the word Baller by calling him one.