Paris – Roubaix 2012

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What can you say about Tom Boonen today? It was incredible. He was the favorite today, and he rode like it.

Like a boss.

Image source:

In the words of my man Legs via text message this morning:

Dominate performance, we just witnessed one of the all-time greats and it was live on US tv, incredible.

It was like watching Michael Jordan on the top of his game. Or, the pre-meltdown Tiger Woods when he was on fire. It will be remembered as one of the all time great displays of athleticism in the world of sport. He owned that shit today. He absolutely owned it.

“I realise [sic] that maybe I’ll be considered the best classics rider of all time,” said Boonen. “My career’s not over yet, I’ll see where it ends.”

Boonen’s attack:

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He just rolled away. Didn’t look like much, did it? Boonen took a few looks over his should, as if in disbelief. I felt he was asking himself, “Are they really just letting a gap open?”

Yes. Yes, they were letting the gap open. They were all looking at each other to do the work. And, as we all know, such conduct almost always doesn’t work out well. And, I suppose they all thought 60k was suicide.

“When Boonen attacked, I worked hard to reach him and Pozzato. At that moment, Pozzato asked me to take a turn, but I was really tired. Behind me was Hushovd and even the sport directors told me not to force it,” Ballan said. “That allowed Boonen to open up the gap. I thought there would be plenty of road to reel him in, but in the contrary, he proved he was very strong.”

You know what Tommeke was thinking?

“Put the champagne on ice.”

The finale:

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I will be watching the expanded coverage on US television this evening. Here in the states, they show us the last two hours of the race. Most years, it’s like watching the second half of a football game – you catch all the action that matters. This year, not so much.

Boonen was alone and in full flight by the time our coverage began. His team mate Niki Terpstra wasn’t around long. I have seen the attack (video above) and a few of the crashes of other favorites. But, damn if I won’t be sitting there watching it on the big screen again later.

Boom Boom Boonen is a baller. I say again, BOONEN IS A BALLER.

Like my man flodizzle said last week after the Tour of Flanders:

Tom Tom is going to be skiing some figure 8 powder runs, racing his Lambo and banging every 18 yr old Flemish chick he can find tonight on the streets of Bruges!

That would be funny if it wasn’t true. Sorta like this April Fools joke. When I read it – and I’m not kidding – I thought it was a true story! Then I thought, hey now, and noticed the April 1st date stamp. Damn if it ain’t totally plausible.

The vehicle was found upside down near the castle on the grounds of Baron Casier Park, with Boonen stripped to the waist standing on top of the overturned super car, twirling his shirt over his head, singing loudly to the LMFAO song “I’m Sexy and I Know It.” According to anonymous bystanders, the female companion was clad only in “her knickers.”

Remember, this is the guy who has been excluded from participation in the Tour de France, not once, but twice for testing positive on an out of competition drugs test. Each time, cocaine.

Best of compilation:

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The best way to win a classic is to cross the finish line alone.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

26 Replies to “Paris – Roubaix 2012”

  1. The best possible result. I love to see people at the top of their game. Stunning win.

  2. …gotta say ol’ tommeke put aside some of his ‘douchery’ & is definitely hitting the pedals hard these days…his resurgence deserves props, so props it is, mr boonen…

    …i did note that he dedicated the win to his girlfriend – “The last few kilometres I thought about my girlfriend, not about Roger [De Vlaeminck]. She’s putting a lot of work in our new house and in the move back from Monaco…”

    …nice to see he’s got a girlfriend these days who’s old enough to have her own house key…

    …just sayin’…

  3. I saw an article that claimed Boonen runs less than 60psi in his tyres for P-R. I’ve looked at all the photos I can find, and they look nowhere near that soft. Others apparently run 80-90psi on 27mm tubs. Is his team telling porkies? Soft or not, his tyres went round faster than anyone’s today. Beyond impressive. I’m still unable to quite comprehend how someone can hold off motivated chasers of the calibre of Flecha, Ballan, Pozzato et. al. for 50+ solos, flat km. Something like 5 Sky-guys in the chasing group at times and they just “let” him ride away.

  4. b-a-l-l-e-r.

    Just a pity Faboo Crashellara wasn’t there to get his ass handed to him.

  5. …thanks, z-mud…after having complimented tommeke, i just couldn’t help myself…

    …@ kurisu…that, amigo, is a terribly uneducated comment, in my book…considering their passion for the course & the record of both men, were spartacus to have ridden as healthy & trouble free as tommeke, you likely would have seen a very different race unfold…

    …& were it to have come down to the two of ’em, it’s highly unlikely either man would have had “…his ass handed to him…” by the other…

    …of course, that’s just my opinion…

  6. My impression is that the chase wasn’t as motivated as it should be, and Terpestra did good work disrupting the routine. Ballan and Pozzoto just looked at each for awhile, waiting for the other to go up the road. When Ballan and a mildly dangerous group went off the front early, Steegmans and Chavanel actually put forth the effort to reel them back. My sense watching the race was that Sky kinda chased, but mostly wagered that Boonen couldn’t hold his pace for 50k.

  7. this is why i love bike racing. huge props to TB.

    i’m stunned the chase didn’t get their shit together and just let him ride away. when the huge favorite goes, especially with a teammate, you’ve gotta hit the gas, what are you saving it for? forget team tactics and sport director instructions – aren’t these guys ubercompetative and hungry as hell? they must’ve been at the limit when Tom shifted into overdrive.

    hugely entertaining, hope the rest of the season is this tasty.

  8. Mr BikesGoneWild, take a deep breath dude.I was just expressing my bronerism for Tommeke. Should I have used a smiley or something? This is the interweb, and they’re PEOPLE WE DON’T KNOW racing BICYCLES on the OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. It doesn’t matter. I’m no road fan-boi (bummer if you think that makes me “terribly uneducated”) however I have started to get into it enough to be surprised that anyone would have taken my comment seriously.

    …and there are things worth being educated about. Capiche?

    I wasn’t looking for a fight, and I suspect you weren’t either, so peace. May your cadence always be high (unless you’re Jan Ullrich, then you can do what you like).

  9. Sure the group could have responded to his attack, but a group that had 3
    Sky riders, Boom, Ballan, etc. should have been able to close the gap pretty quickly. Even with only a few of them working, it shouldn’t have gotten up to 1:30. Dude is baller, and was definitely the strongest of the day.

  10. I especially like how, once he saw the gap open, Boonen gave Terpstra the “c’mon” head move… Terpstra seemed to already be on the rivet and probably thought, “fuck me..this is gonna suck”. It was then that Boonen was all in.

    I sat amazed that he rolled away from everybody and pursued a 50km solo win.

    Bike racers race.

  11. What do Gilbert’s dominance last spring and Boonen’s tour de force this spring have in common? Team doctor Jose Ibarguren, the same doctor of Saunier Duval Ricco/Piepoli fame, not to mention a load of others.


  12. At least you’re not trying to say that he’s got a motor in his bike frame… Dumbest. Conspiracy. Theory. Ever.

  13. Humpty, but he has won this race 4 times, and done the Flanders-Roubaix twice. So your point is?

    But, you are right in that no one gives a shit about cancer jesus going back to doing tri’s…

  14. …@ kurisu…then perhaps you’ve noticed that the human brain has this amazing capacity which allows one to be educated or well versed, as the case may be, in literally hundreds of subjects, both ‘important’ & trivial…why limit yourself, ya ???…

    …one can also have a great appreciation for the sport & it’s riders whether we personally know them or not without denigrating fans to ‘fan-boi’ status & yet with that being said, various readers of this site personally do know riders in the pro pelican…

    …as for racing “…on the other side of the world…”, in general, you’re correct but we do have events here in the usa & next month here in california, a lotta these guys are gonna be on their bikes racing just as hard where ya can see ’em up close & personal, ya ???…

    …now…if i haven’t soured you on it, enjoy the awesome sport of road racing…every classic, every one day race & every multi-stage tour is very different & unique from any other similar event…

  15. Didn’t look like much? He looked like he was about to puke up a lung as soon as he started to go. It wasn’t like the time Fabian jumped the breakaway group while they were soft pedalling.

  16. Speaking of Belgium, (well, I was anyway), this made be one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. (which isn’t saying much, but this is VERY cool)

    And yes, it even has bikes in it.

    From the description:

    To launch the high quality TV channel TNT in Belgium we placed a big red push button on an average Flemish square of an average Flemish town. A sign with the text “Push to add drama” invited people to use the button. And then we waited…


  17. …bikemike…nice touch, that…love how most people just sat or stood there transfixed…“…huh, wha…, shit ???”…(spoken in flemish of course)…