Tuesdays with Dirty: 6 inches of love

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Years ago, back in the Bronx, I was sitting in the barber shop and I overheard an old timer telling a joke. This guy was straight out of the Casino reject pool. Polyester pants, top 3 buttons undone on his shirt, dripping with cheap gold … his joke went a little something like this:

Old Timer: “So my wife told me to give her all six inches and make it hurt”
Barber: “What did you do?”
Old Timer: “I f**ked her twice and slapped her”

I have this 6 inch travel mountain bike and its pretty much the most fun thing I have ridden in a long time. The ability to roll over and down most everything in my path and still be light and efficient enough to pedal around all day is just amazing. I guess that makes it “All Mountain” by industry standards these days. I think that designation is a little ridiculous and right up there with “freeride”.  But I’m sure glad the technology is here, and it’s only getting better.

I took a little spin around Sedona with this bike and Angry Buddhist as a tour guide the other day and I couldn’t help but remember that crazy old timer’s joke. I was slapped around by the trail and put through my paces. It looked like this:

Angry Buddhist taking in the view
Angry Buddhist taking in the view

I hate to post this over Snake’s race report, so go read that too and leave him and the rest of the team some love in the comments. Strong work Ride Clean. But as always… keep it dirty!

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single women and single malt. Currently in Carbondale, CO Follow on Instagram @dirty_biker

9 Replies to “Tuesdays with Dirty: 6 inches of love”

  1. Got to do some mountain biking in Sedona a few weeks ago myself. We ended up at a place called Buddha beach. Might be a place the angry Buddhist could check out. It’s hard to be angry there…right on Oak Creek.

    I heard this version of the joke back in good old Glens Falls.
    My wife said give me 12 inches and make it hurt, so I f***ed her twice and hit her over the head with a 2 x 4.


  2. Turkey! never ran into you at the Avett brothers, but that show blew my goddamn mind
    our ride also had Buddha beach as the mid point.

  3. A Frenchman, an Italian and a Brit are having a drink and bragging of their sexual prowess.

    French guy says, “When I make love to my woman, she floats an inch off the mattress afterwards.”

    Italian guy counters, “When I make love to my woman, she floats A FOOT above the mattress after.”

    British guys says, “I have sex with my wife, wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the fucking roof.”

  4. buddha beach. i once started on the cockscomb/thunder something-or-other loop with yardsale and we ended up just about to cottonwood without water or daylight. we rode 89 back to town. it was a desperate finish to a blissful jaunt. i was wishing the whole way back on 89 that we were swimming in beer with my shirt off by buddha beach. sun’s out? guns out.

  5. Yeah man sorry I didn’t run into you at the show. I was in the second row blown away myself. Dirt and Salvage Co. rocked too. Definitely going to see both bands again in the future.

    Speaking of going up north, there’s a blues and mountain biking festival in Strawberry in June this year. Should be fun. Lots of cool stuff to do up north that gets us out of this hell hole in the summer.

    Or, maybe we should just all go to Buddha beach and indulge in Gin, Tonic and Limes, beer and of course whiskey. Maker’s mark is my favorite. Hey! Tomorrow is Friday. That fucking rocks.

  6. a few years back when i was racing at the US Open for D-H a guy had a t-shirt on that said, “i like 8 inches in the rear”.
    Only 2 forums work for that type of shirt: Downhill Mtb race, and gay bar

  7. It’s the Truth and Salvage Co. to set the record straight. New record is released May 25th. Highly recommend all drunk cyclists pick it up.