Tuesdays with Dirty: Dopey Irony

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Normally, on Tuesdays I try to report some bike world happening or ride I have just done. But real life has gotten the better of me the past few weeks and I just haven’t done anything that interesting. Lucky for me somebody calling themselves “Dopey” sent me a pretty good email. So good, in fact, I am giving them my Tuesday slot. Enjoy…

Not so many years ago my wife surprised me with a quick trip to St. Louis for a little gambling and a short lived bike race called the Tour of Missouri. This was my first experience as a spectator of a professional road race, and I wanted to make the best of every moment. Like any DC follower, reader and fan I did just that. After the last doper crossed the finish line I followed the masses of people toward an unknown destination passing bright yellow signs brandishing the phrase “Anti-Doping”. When I arrived, I was minimally excited to find big ass buses covered in all the fancy sponsors of all the fancy teams. I did make my way to see the famous Spaniard….doper Alberto Contador.  He chatted with a few Spanish television stations and signed a few autographs.  People were gathering to see the little giant that was Alberto.  However, just over his shoulder I spotted my victim.  Kingpin Sir Johan Bruyneel….You see, I had a little premonition. Without hesitation, I ran to the nearest chain linked fence and began to cut away at the zip tie holding one of the golden yellow signs that brandished “Anti-Doping!”  After I successfully removed the sign, I began my mission of blending into the crowds.  After a few minutes I made my way to Kingpin Sir Johan with a Sharpie and sign in hand.  I respectfully waited may turn, made eye contact, and then handed him the sign. Unlike any autograph before, he looked up to see who the dipshit was that just handed him the sign.  Yes, he saw my smiling face.  He ungratefully signed the piece of history and shook his head in doing so.  However, I am pretty sure I am the one winning now!  The question is….Ebay or Frame it?

Keep it dirty…like Johan

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single women and single malt. Currently in Carbondale, CO Follow on Instagram @dirty_biker

20 Replies to “Tuesdays with Dirty: Dopey Irony”

  1. that shit’s funny. what if you could have gotten all the old guard guys coming out now…..priceless!

  2. Sell it on Ebay before this all blows over. In one year, bicycling will be back to corporate whore racing as usual.

  3. Holeeyshit That’s magic!

    Dirty, I think you should keep it, and occasionally trot it out at pubs and post race beer-ups to tell the story and hit up yer audience for a beer or two.

    I know, for that laugh I’d let you surf off *my* tab for a proper pint or two.


  4. FRAME IT!!!!!
    FRAME IT!!!!!
    FRAME IT!!!!!
    FRAME IT!!!!!
    FRAME IT!!!!!
    and then ebay it!!!

  5. …talk about irony…

    …a bookstore in glascow, scotland has refiled lance armstrong’s autobiography ‘every second counts’ to the fiction department…


    …maybe johan bruyneel could change the name of his book to – “everyone else is doping so we might as well win” to better reflect the truth…

    …just a thought…

  6. I am glad you all appreciated this little jewel as well! It has been hanging from the ceiling in my basement bike shop for years. It has made me smile numerous times when I am doing a little home wrenching. As we all are aware…cycling is just a really dopey sport.

  7. Quite the autograph, that thing has got to be really valuable. You should see if LA wants to buy it for his bike shop or rec room.

  8. You should see that shit to buy some epo, testo, hgf and a shitload of bullit burbon.

  9. I’m in the frame it camp, unless the price is right.

    I heard Mellow Johnny’s is trying to corner the market in Lance era collectables and erase history. This may be an important piece to the revised history ;)

    Play your cards s wisely.

  10. I framed my poster of Eddy that he autographed after he & I got shit-faced at the Sink in Boulder, back in ’91-’92(??) – I’ll never sell that!!

  11. Send it back to Johan. You bet he’ll sure-as-shit will remember it. Or better yet, make a color copy to send to him, sell the rights ahead of time to the Belgian sports press for their cover photo when the shit lands, then frame the original and put it on a wall with room for a collage of all the photo’s of places this shows up… Priceless