Licking the Grid.

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I know that you’re reading this because you care.  Because you care, I care.  We all care.  What do we care about?  We care about victory.  There simply isn’t much but that.   To achieve victory, I spiritually adhere to the Grid Licking method.

I am president of my regional chapter of Leisure Class Heroes, and I lead by example within my Grid.  My ego sips wattage like it’s shade-grown Sumatran, which my legs generously produce just as an amenity of victorship.  I am preparing for domination and will accept nothing less than total and complete egomaniacal exclusivity whilst in the process.  Observe life within the Grid, and the ways it can be manipulated and maneouvred through.  (*black and white photo treatment app courtesy of JVA.  It helps weekend group ride clowns who aren’t living the vida see that we are serious about carb/protein ratios and wattage output.  It’s just helpful.)

The first to the job gets to leave at 2:30 for Sprinterval™ training.


Later, cubelickers.  Time to hit the Grid.


My road straps can’t handle the wattage.  They also can’t handle 10 years of chemical degeneration, but mostly, they can’t handle the wattage.


Top tube pads should be made of 1 thing:  vomit.  Errbody else is fronting.  Grid session 1.1 complete.

I kicked off grid session 1.2 by going inside my mind in a sensory reparations chamber, to be dropped off at a vector <10, >40 kilometres from this morning’s #occupydesk demonstration.


A marketing collateral barnstorming session jumped off all sharp.


Then it got salient and a little bit sullen.  Marketing campaigns are tricky.  You have to stay liquid, and you need to really hear your clients.


Then it turned back a couple of pages to revel in what will be the next hot DC single, dropping in mere days.


If you don’t stretch, you’re not fooling any passersby into believing in your prowess — plain and simple.  My training mottos are Stretch Before You Wretch©, and Watts Up© (i say that one before I flip the lid on the volume can and dial up a Sprinterval™).


#occupycubelicker commences.

Look alive.  It’s Traincing® season.  The Grid Awaits.

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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

12 Replies to “Licking the Grid.”

  1. I would ride my bike today if I could get down the stairs.

    13 beers have co-opted that concept.

    Maybe tomorrow.

  2. I have a child watching position at my home location, but I’m no kidlicker.

    I will hurl if I need to.

    I like the “I” in the new logo.

    Buck out!

  3. I hear you Triple T, but sometimes victory is as simple as co-opting the hangover to get on yer bike despite the 13 beers. Once you’ve had hot and sweaty sex, the very next best thing to cure a hangover is a good hard ride.

  4. Woot.

    I actually went for a ride today.

    Only 4 miles but I’ll take what I can give.

    Snake Hawk…..fantastic post. Bravo brother.

  5. new logo will drop in the web store by this Friday. I just have to get out of NYC and back to AZ so i can stuff the envelopes. Stay tuned.

  6. …holy shit, that’s brilliant !!!…i may have to buy one a’ those before the lawsuits start pouring in…

    …the uci will demand a retraction & an apology in 16 different newspapers, cinelli’s italian lawyers will run around in circles & make threatening noises over this, michael sinyard will set about a corporate takeover of drunkcyclist, indy fab will laugh & expect free t-shirts for all their employees, valentino campagnolo will inform you that he finds it tasteless to have his brand name associated with any group of people so “common”, rapha will will inquire as to why the shirts aren’t made of virgin merino wool & selling for $183.95 & well, you get the picture…

    …just sayin’…