Charlie Don’t Surf

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But he can sure ride a bike! I just returned from spending two weeks abroad in Seoul, S. Korea, Shanghai and Beijing, China and damn, what an adventure. With the success of capitalism in the People’s Republic of China, the scores of bicycles have been replaced by electric scooters and motorcycles. I was hard pressed to even find one Flying Pigeon! Here, traffic signals and road signs are mere suggestions. Riding a motorcycle on the sidewalk into oncoming foot traffic? No problem. Make a U-turn during rush hour traffic against a red light? Pfft, what red light? However, after observing this choreographed ballet on crack of bikes, scooters, pedestrians and vehicles, I never saw one accident!

Riding side saddle, legs crossed, & talking on phone with opposite hand. Fugger's got skillz!
Riding side saddle, legs crossed, & talking on phone with opposite hand. Fugger's got skillz!

A couple note-worthy observations:

– The air pollution sucks. balls.
-The South Koreans and Chinese are more afraid of fire than Godzilla and Mothra combined! I’ve never seen so many fire extinguishers.
– Local beer is cheap. Like $0.75 cents US.
– Food is cheap, too. And damn good!
– Bad Engrish is alive and well. Seriously, I should start a translation consulting company or something.
– Shanghai loves Capitalism. Beijing loves Communism. Government minders were around. Watch what you ask and say in certain places.
– At 4A.M. when partying with Russian mafia types who are in “logistics” it is best to refrain from inquiring where they procured the hookers. “Those are our girlfriends…”
– Construction on The Great Wall commenced around 200 B.C. Shit is old.

It just needs a little adjusting.
It just needs a little adjusting.

More Bad Engrish

Fried crap anyone?
Fried crap anyone?

You say Angle. I say Angel. What’s the diff?


Every city has one. WTF is this guy?

South Korean Water Bike
South Korean Water Bike

So damn good…soup filled dumplings. Whole meal as shown? $5.00 US.


Perfect attire for hiking The Great Wall.
Perfect attire for hiking The Great Wall.

This is just a few years old…


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About Flodizzle

Another cyclist toiling away in graduate school. Go figure. Tucson, Arizona, USA

9 Replies to “Charlie Don’t Surf”

  1. Great pictures, thanks for sharing. I agree, China is nuts. I spent the better part of a year there and was blown away by something every day. I would just go for long walks because I knew I was going to see something nuts. I eventually bought a bike just so I could experience the chaos. It was like a cat 5 crit but everyone was smoking and there were cars on the course. Shanghai was insane for sure, incredible how wealthy and poor all at the same time. Safe travels and stay away from KTV.

  2. Commissioner! Get a hold of WATER BIKE GUY immediately. A sprawling city in Southwest, USA needs him delivered up ASAP!!

  3. FLOOOOO! where the fuck have you been except to china??? awesome post! i like the picture of the lady hiking up the wall. my sister has been living in china for quite a few years. she’s a “doctor of the environment” and gets paid to study the polluted water over there. she loves it there. rad post, thanks for sharing.

  4. …that chick LOOKS like she’s got nice ‘soup filled’ (???) dumplings…& only 5 bucks u.s. ???…

    …china does have good deals, huh ???…

  5. I liked the explanation my taxi driver had, when ripping through Bangkok the wrong way in the transit-only lane: “NO BUS NOW!”

    And yeah, soup dumpling are the shit. You can get ’em right here in Bellevue WA now… 90 minute wait most nights, about 600 Asians crammed into that place. Bonus: they pour Manny’s.

  6. …snake sox…speaking of nasty elements like lead (Pb-82), chinese cyclists don’t ride “…on the wings of mercury”, they ride with a lotta environmental mercury (Hg-80) in their veins…