Life on random

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In no particular order, I present the randomness of my experiences. This is what my view looked like as the girls napped last week. Yes, I was on the rollers in the kitchen. Big Kitchen gets it done.


I’ve had the time to see some quality television these last three weeks. And, I suppose that means I’ve had way too much time on my hands. It also begs the question: Does quality television exist?

A question for another day perhaps.

Seen this Slap Chop shit? I know it’s years old at this point, but I hadn’t ever seen it on television before – just youtube and the like. I never thought it was real. Seriously. I thought the advertisement was a Saturday Night Live bit.

YouTube Preview Image

Unreal. And to think he seemed like such a nice boy. Yeah. Vince Shlomi bangs toothy hookers. He’s now a lucky boy as no charges were files. (He was staring at a felony)

I saw part of an episode of MTV’s show, Jersey Shore. It is among the worst things I have every witnessed on television. And that may be saying something as I pretty much ignore everything on television short of sports, the News Hour and Meet the Press.

All I could think about as I endured this program was “this is a drinking game.” So, google away and blammo. The Youth of America do not disappoint.

Jersey Shore Drinking Game Rules
– Anyone says the word “classy”
– Pauley fixes his hair
– Ed Hardy apparel is shown
– Mike says “The Situation”
– There is a fight
– A guy appears shirtless
– A girl appears in a bikini top
– Anyone says “guido” or “guidette”
– Anyone fist bumps
– Anyone lifts weights
– Making out occurs
– Anyone references “The Shore”
– Blurring or pixellation occurs

Yes, this may kill you. You pretty much should expect to have a drink in your hand as soon as you turn the show on, tip the glass, and continue drinking until the drink is gone, and reach for a second drink immediately. Repeat until either 1) the show ends, or 2) you turn the show off. There isn’t much that happens during the program aside from what is enumerated above.

Get your Shack on.

I can’t say just why I find that video so damn alarming. But, “damn alarming” is the two words that come to mind.

It haunts me.

Link dump:
Hell Freezes Over: Rush Limbaugh Loves Union Hospitals and Socialized Medicine
Fuck Yeah Girls and Bikes
A year without getting into a car
Slut spillage tragedy
Krauthammer’s Al Qaeda Smear

This is a jumbo link dump folks. What can I say, life happens. And, randomly at that.
The Same Old Washington Blame Game
Battling Obama by ‘Going Galt’
Going “John Galt”
Tea Parties, Going Galt, Iraq, and Delicious Irony
Congress Considers Hitting Mute On Loud TV Ads

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 thoughts on “Life on random

  1. I have to smoke nearly a 1/4 ounce of weed to make riding inside bearable thus rendering the exercise itself totally worthless.

  2. Yeah, it’s a bitch. But when you’re with the kids all day (don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome), you have to ride when they’re asleep or not ride at all. Sure, you can drag ’em around in a trailer. But, that’s still on their terms. They have to be fed, watered, warm, shaded, blanketed… Easier to tuck them in and spin away in the kitchen.

  3. I flatted the rear at the top of Newport Way and discovered my self-rescue kit contained a spare tube, spoons, patch kit and CO2 but no blaster widget thingie. Had to call the sag wagon. First ride, first rescue of 2010. Fuck.

  4. I have been sitting around the house since November 21st and I found out Jerry Springer still has a show, it is still funny sh**.

  5. the ultimate drinking game- buff the vampire slayer. see a cleavage shot, take a drink. good luck making it through the show….