A blue bike and a thumbtack

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The thumb tack was pushed into her front tire, the tire and bike were both blue, it was a lady’s frame. Her tire was flat. We were in the fourth grade. I never knew who pushed in that thumbtack, only that it had not been me. For reasons I didn’t understand then and have never understood since, one of my classmates, a young woman who had never even spoken word one to me, told the teacher I had done it. That was all that out teacher needed to hear. She leaned in toward me when I said I had nothing to do with it, and said, “Jonathon, she told me you did it!” My words meant nothing in that circumstance. Alyssa, who owned the bike, then yelled at me, in front of the teacher, that I had done it. That she had seen me do it. That I was a liar! I didn’t know what else to say. What else could I say? When asked if I had done it, I truthfully answered that I had not. And it had not mattered at all. I stared hard at the floor wishing it would all just go away and I could be back in the wood behind my parent’s house, where I was free, where I was a king. I don’t’ recall what my exact punishment was, but I think I spend about a week of recesses inside the classroom while my classmates played outside and laughed at me. I never felt a part of that classroom again. It is the first time I can remember hating everything around me in school, overwhelmingly wanting to change the entirety of my surroundings, to leave and never come back.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

6 thoughts on “A blue bike and a thumbtack

  1. To quote one Frederick Mercury, ‘Get on your bike and ride…..!!!!’ Which it appears you did, with some aplomb, mon brave….

  2. Gawd. The only thing I still remember from grammar school was leading a column of kids down the hall way and walking right over a small set of steps.


    Face plant in front of whole class.

    Beyond that. Nada.

    Well. OK. That and what’s her name developing a rack way before her time.

    Gawd. What was her name again ??

  3. Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone…

    “How can you pound yer puddin’ if you didn’t beat yer meat?”

    Or some shit…

  4. I had the exact same thing happen to me in kindergarten. I got an embarrassing spanking. Fuck those rotten lying snitches!

    After that I decided to earn my punishments and so began a life of deviancy…