About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

64 Replies to “Caption This”

  1. blowin trees, some reason i look at the pic long enuff i see 2 drop
    dead chicks on nice mTb’s saying hey wanta party tonight, WE HAVE BEERS :) follow us to the dark side boy!

  2. i remember pulling up to an oft used trailhead one day and noticing a new F.S. sign with a red slash through the bike. it seemed odd and forced me to approach and stare hard at this red slash which turned out to be a perfectly crafted piece of red electrical tape. off came the tape, on went the ride. bikers 1 hikers 0.
    recently in sedona we were having trouble finding the teacup trail tie in from soldiers pass (undoubtly due to bongs and beam)
    so we asked one of those moronic rock scaling jeep drivers who guided us in the right direction but closed with , you can’t ride that trail, it’a too hard and for hikers only. personally i took that as a dare and besides it’s in my guide book, so hasta dousch bag. bikers 1 morons 0
    if one can ride it nobody should be able to say you can’t, and if one can’t they probably won’t be back anyway.

    thusly, i say Fuck the Police , most hard core hikers stink eye you no matter how good an ambassador and polite you try to be. if your alternatives are limited, poach away and if you do come across a backcountryer hold ’em down and golden should that stupid patchouli off their asses because that’s an EPA air quality violation any way

  3. i remember pulling up to an oft used trailhead one day and noticing a new F.S. sign with a red slash through the bike. it seemed odd and forced me to approach and stare hard at this red slash which turned out to be a perfectly crafted piece of red electrical tape. off came the tape, on went the ride. bikers 1 hikers 0.
    recently in sedona we were having trouble finding the teacup trail tie in from soldiers pass (undoubtly due to bongs and beam)
    so we asked one of those moronic rock scaling jeep drivers who guided us in the right direction but closed with , you can’t ride that trail, it’a too hard and for hikers only. personally i took that as a dare and besides it’s in my guide book, so hasta dousch bag. bikers 1 morons 0
    if one can ride it nobody should be able to say you can’t, and if one can’t they probably won’t be back anyway.

    thusly, i say Fuck the Police , most hard core hikers stink eye you no matter how good an ambassador and polite you try to be. if your alternatives are limited, poach away and if you do come across a backcountryer hold ’em down and golden shower that stupid patchouli off their asses because that’s an EPA air quality violation any way

  4. “Fuck the Police , most hard core hikers stink eye you no matter how good an ambassador and polite you try to be. if your alternatives are limited, poach away and if you do come across a backcountryer hold ‘em down and golden shower that stupid patchouli off their asses”

    Johnnyv–

    Thanks for the thoughtful perspective, nimrod. “Most hard core hikers,” you say? Huh, I wonder if a hiker has ever met a guy like you on a closed trail and said, “most mountain bikers…”? Hey, do the MTB community a big favor and stay home, dipshit.

    Mikey

  5. You westerners with your untold miles of open space crack me up when you cry about access. Try living in the deep south where public land is almost nil, unless you are in the TN/NC/GA hill country.

  6. “Hey, do the MTB community a big favor and stay home, dipshit.”

    hey mikey, lighten the fuck up. it’s way past 4:20, bubble up some gnarly ganglion jah love and enjoy the ride. Mikey Dread

  7. Hmm, it’s a good thing I’m pictorially illiterate.

    I don’t know quite what the score is on your side of the Pacific, but over here bikes are banned completely from national parks. I’ll poach the odd trail if it’s worth it, looks like it might be worth it or I feel like it. I ride with respect to the status of the track; balls out on the legal stuff, a bit more circumspect on the dodgey stuff. I used to ride some great illegal single track about 10 km from the last town I lived in, in 3 years of riding I saw maybe 2 groups of people. We kept the tracks clear, smashed up the jumps the idiots built on the walking tracks and tried to educate all the other riders we met. You’re right, I’m part of the problem.

  8. Erik Ryberg

    We built the great majority of the single track on the peaks and on elden. Why dont we get to ride any of it? Why are we banned to the fucking cinders.

    Mostly because the Coconino is the most mismanaged Forest around. Even the employees of other forests make fun of the coconino.

  10. that’s a good idea MIKEY, coupla rips might do you some good and dilute those patchouli fumes that are eating away your brain cells.you might want to consider having that giant hair removed from your ass while your at it.