What brings ’em to DC

Posted on January 30, 2008 by big jonny

I will never understand how search engines work.

I mean, I understand it in a general sense. As much as I understand anything, I suppose. But how in the hell did the phrase “guys with huge boners” bring up this site from a search engine query 155 times so far this month?

Keyphrases (top ten) Search Percent

drunk cyclist 744 16.9 %

drunkcyclist 476 10.8 %

drunkcyclist.com 161 3.6 %

guys with huge boners 155 3.5 %

drunken cyclist 127 2.8 %

november 84 1.9 %

porn 76 1.7 %

jonny 67 1.5 %

forum 63 1.4 %

drunkencyclist 48 1 %

We’ve got one more day to try and bring that up to a respectable 200. C’mon guys, we can do it.

About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

View all posts by big jonny →

15 Replies to “What brings ’em to DC”

Gnome on January 30, 2008 at 9:24 am said:

Maybe its because everyone who “reads” your site is a douchebag with a huge boner? Maybe the search engines are really little robot spies.
big jonny on January 30, 2008 at 9:36 am said:

I’m pretty much going with the robot spies one.
dad-e~O on January 30, 2008 at 10:04 am said:

even with the No Porn?!?
weird
must the Robots
ubdub on January 30, 2008 at 10:34 am said:

I love how idiots enter an url into google. Just type it into your browser you frigtards!
bikepunk on January 30, 2008 at 10:56 am said:

I might be drunk.
I have been known to ride a bike.
I have a boner most of the time, admittedly not ‘huge’.
ergo…

I am always posting to (and reading the replies to…) Drunk cyclist.

and don’t forget the secret stash like your dad had…
http://www.drunkcyclist.com/porn

Its still there, but like 7-eleven it’s now resides ‘behind the counter.’
Brendan on January 30, 2008 at 11:49 am said:

I love it that there are people out there actually typing the word “porn” into Google. I wonder how many results that brings up.
DrunkenBiker on January 30, 2008 at 11:56 am said:

It was the trucks and boners post that did you in.

BJ’s boner

I say blame your wife.
DrunkenBiker on January 30, 2008 at 12:06 pm said:

“I love how idiots enter an url into google. Just type it into your browser you frigtards!”

Not Ed Zachery.

I do that if I can’t remember/figure out how to spell a certain sites name.

I type something close in Google and like magic, it figures out what I want.

Priceless after 5-6 beers let me tell ya.
DrunkenBiker on January 30, 2008 at 12:24 pm said:

Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Please give just a small donation and we will send you the video. It’s fucking hilarious.

Sorry…..had to post that. ha ha
bikesgonewild on January 30, 2008 at 1:58 pm said:

…re: guys w/ huge boners…

…i’m not sure if i’ve got this straight…

…am i supposed to send you on-line photos ???…

…just askin’…
jackie on January 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm said:

My boss is smart enough to check the the address bar to see what websites we’ve been too. But not smart enough to check the search bar for what we’ve been searching for.
Joe on January 30, 2008 at 2:45 pm said:

bp that site works on my phone man.. hehe bookmarked
fritz on January 30, 2008 at 9:23 pm said:

I just went to google about 10 times and typed in huge boners, then clicked here.
That says nothing about my masculinity though…
Just trying to get Juan grande on the Map, Yo!
Cody on January 31, 2008 at 3:13 pm said:

Drunk Cyclist, now with 3.5% more Huge Boners
Opus the Poet on January 31, 2008 at 10:17 pm said:

Don’t you see? Guys with SUVs have tiny boners, Corvettes even moreso. Guys that ride bike? Dude we have to be super careful not to run ours over they’re so big ;)

Opus