Shawn and Jeff’s birthday Death Race

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You can smell the anger from here…

From: Chris
Subject: December 16th mark your calendar
Shawn and Jeff’s birthday Death Race
These two guys named Shawn and Jeff have a birthday a couple days apart. They worked in the same shop for years and talked shit about who is fastest on the street forever. It is now time to prove it once and for all. AND EVERYONE IS INVITED

Fixies only….. or go home… on Sunday, December 16th for a birthday celebration.

We start at The Rouge Bar with your bikes locked at 8pm, slam a beer then ride that thing any which way to 4peaks: as long as the rear wheel is fixed… lock your fixie, slam a Kilt Lifter… ride through main campus to the fountain by the MU where a surprise will await then ride to Boulders On Broadway (newest bike friendly bar in town) at the corner of Broadway and Roosevelt and slam another beer then it is an all out sprint to Casey Moore’s… lock it up and first one through the gate wins the glory….. we’ve been talking shit for a long time…. see who wins! Pass the word…. this is fixie racing like Tempe has never experienced………leave your sisters’ pants at home hipsters…….. bring it!

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

9 Replies to “Shawn and Jeff’s birthday Death Race”

  1. BSNYC just stopped what he was doing and felt the sudden urge to open up and start tomorrows sarcasm post.

  2. Dr Evil,

    lets re-phrase that
    “fixie kids are gay”
    but the actual bikes are way more fun than should be allowed, talk about using the wrong tool for the job, throw in some beer and you got yourself a good old time
    thats what we are aiming for
    …and no guys wearing girl pants, cause that is definately gay

  3. But, fixies and track bikes are gay.
    By the way, so are Jeff and Shawn.
    Don’t tell ANYBODY, SERIOUSLY.

  4. people who suck at ping pong call it table tennis…. just because you’re afraid to take the brakes off you’re track bike doesn’t mean we don’t ride fixies up and down south mountain…. if you’re a toughie shorts trustafarian in flagstaff bring it in tempe….. we’re waiting………. see you sunday

  5. brakes? track bikes dont have brakes dipshit. brakes are illegal in most velodrome races, brainiac.