Where there’s spokes, there’s sodomy

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Oh my. First I was reading about our dear unfortunate brother across the pond who took “bike love” a step to far.

And then some.

A “cycle-sexualist” caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bicycle has been put on probation for three years.

Robert Stewart’s unlikely perversion has been analysed in chat rooms around the world after he was caught by two cleaners who walked in on him in a hostel room.

Bike Sex is Great!
Robert Stewart arrives at court

The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, “What is it, hen?”, before continuing to “move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex”.

Source: telegraph.co.uk

More on the poor bastard here: news.bbc.co.uk

Kinda leads into this trainwreck:

(Vid below the fold)

At least it provided me with a title for this piece.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

7 Replies to “Where there’s spokes, there’s sodomy”

  1. “Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.”

    The guy is an “official” sex offender for humping a bike ??

    Que ??

  2. I hope this doesn’t effect his subscription to Master Cyclist. I think they should throw a pic of him on the front while wearing a viagra t-shirt.

    This could spawn a huge following of bike humpers!

    With all do respect though, every bike should be properly broken in…and I can’t think of a more satisfying method!

  3. What no one has mentioned was what kind of bike it was. If it was just a Roadmaster, then it might be a crime, or at least an episode of bad taste. If I get caught in bed with my bike (and I lock my doors), I hope it is with a nice Jamis Aurora or a Gilmour.

  4. So would spooging on a Big Wheel be a misdemeanor? And for that matter with little knowledge of the British judicial system, if this was a jury trial, how the hell would they find a jury of his peers?

    Would this man consider “Breaking Away” a fetish movie?