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Why is it that you can be the cock of the block when you’re single, but celibate when you are with someone?

Why is it you seem to get the most when you’re single and playing the field, but when ‘love’ is involved it drops off exponentially?

Why is it that some guys have all the luck?

Why is it that your life is so miserable compared to everyone else’s?

Why is it that you can bust your ass day in and day out, but the guy who knows how to schmooze gets ahead faster?

I ask these things to a godless sky, shaking my fist; knowing that these questions and more will go forever unanswered. Hoping only for a little nectar to drip down to my hopelessly bottom-feeder level. Ours is not to question why, eh Horatio? Or Homer? Or Lance?

Why do I write? That is easy. If it doesn’t get out of my head, I will get nosebleeds, headaches, athletes foot, crotch rot, the shakes, and countless other maladies. If it doesn’t come out, I would simply die from keeping it in.


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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

11 Replies to “Why?”

  1. Oi vey.

    I was in a good mood today. I was fairly happy.

    Then I read this post and now I’m moodier than a 9 month preggo, man-less, money-less teenager.

    Think I’ll stroll over to the local pub and play a game of 8-ball and drink an ass-load of beer.

    Thanks bikepunk. If I do see your stolen bike for sale, I’m buying it and painting it pink. Then dousing it with lighter fluid and torching the fucker. I’ll send pixs of me trying to piddle the flames out.

    That said…..nothing but love. ;)

  2. …yer just upset that lance is workin’ the doublemint twins angle, dude…
    …be cool…shit works out, right ???…

  3. Remember BP, it’s always darkest right before it goes Pitch Black.

    Ha Ha Ha. Just trying to cheer you up. But wait. That’s true. It is always darkest right before it goes Pitch Black. Shit.

    But, Hey, get out there and try something new and exciting. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you NEVER take. Thing is, if you’re like most people, you miss most of the shots you DO take. Not 100% of course, but pretty damned close.

    Anyway, you can always look at dirty pictures on DC and bop the old baloney. Like you were twelve…

    Is this cheering anyone up? Shit. I’m going to go drink. Does anyone have one of those small gray italian pistols?

  4. Eh, I just confirmed *tonight* that my wife has had a boyfriend on the side for the past 5 or so weeks that I’m aware of.

    Looks like getting a new cross bike next year isn’t going to be such a hassle after all.

    Oh, and I’ll definitely be drunk from tonight well into tomorrow’s work day.

    Cheers mein freund.

  5. MX, you have my deepest sympathies. That both sucks and blows. I will raise a bottle or three for you tonight (friday…)

    And Opus? Yes. I can drink and do at every opportunity. In fact, It is almost time to invoke the ‘Double-Digits’ rule. So I can pop a beer for breakfast. It’s great being retired at 28. 10 years later, I’m still retired and my liver is still going strong.

    The bruises don’t seem to go away as fast anymore, but then… they do make be look harder than I actually am.