Getting back on track…

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Due to Jonny’s semi-emo meltdown and subsequent infection of many posters here, I took it upon myself to drink half a bottle of Jonnie Walker black and get over said illness. I’m not sure when (or even IF…) Jonny will return in fighting form. He may in fact, be gone for as long as 3 months. ‘Hibernation in Black’ we are describing it.
But on to the day’s business.

Man-child throws tantrum. Parents possibly caving.

WASHINGTON – President Bush sought to save Michael Mukasey’s troubled nomination for attorney general Thursday, defending the retired judge’s refusal to say whether he considers waterboarding torture and warning of a leaderless Justice Department if Democrats don’t confirm him.

“If the Senate Judiciary Committee were to block Judge Mukasey on these grounds, they would set a new standard for confirmation that could not be met by any responsible nominee for attorney general,” Bush said in a speech at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank.

“That would guarantee that America would have no attorney general during this time of war,” the president said.

Translation : “But Mom!!! I want it NOW ! ! ! ! !!” This is the guy who said (Yes, I am QUOTING)

“I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.”

“I don’t know where he is. I’ll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him.”

and “Deep in my heart I know the man’s on the run, if he’s alive at all…I just don’t spend much time on it, really, to be honest with you.”

Then he goes on to say that Congress is doing a shitty job? Fuck you rich boy.

Pastor sees light in form of big check he must sign.

A Baltimore federal jury awarded nearly $11 million Wednesday to the father of a Marine killed in Iraq, deciding that the family’s privacy had been invaded by a Kansas church whose members waved anti-gay signs at the funeral.

It was the first-ever verdict against Westboro Baptist Church, a fundamentalist Christian group based in Topeka that has protested military funerals across the country with placards bearing shock-value messages such as “Thank God for dead soldiers.”

You know…I’m not even sure what to say about this sum-of-the-earth masking as a holy man. Fuck that guy and his whole family and congregation. Fuck you Fred. Fuck you.

Republican like to have his cake. Eats it too.

State Rep. Richard Curtis, R-La Center, admitted to having sex with a man he met at an adult video store in Spokane last week, according to a police report released Tuesday afternoon.


The police report contains an account of how Curtis allegedly donned women’s clothing, red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top before engaging in a sex act at the store. He then continued to wear them throughout the night under his clothing, the report says.

I won’t get into the freakiness described because the only sex I’m interested in is the teenage gangbang underneath me that keeps me up every damn weekend, and the eventuality of being invited to join. Then I can show these young’ns how its REALLY done, American Style.

What I will say is ‘Values Voters’ really need to look long and hard at looking for people who are not these ‘Do as I say, Not as I do’ types. Bubba admitted to having an affair, but at least it was with a woman. A plumper, sure… but a female nonetheless.

Take this job and shove it, you jackasses.

Uneasy U.S. diplomats yesterday challenged senior State Department officials in unusually blunt terms over a decision to order some of them to serve at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad or risk losing their jobs.

Service in Iraq is “a potential death sentence,” said one man who identified himself as a 46-year Foreign Service veteran. “Any other embassy in the world would be closed by now,” he said to sustained applause.

Yeah… the Green Zone is a place you want to work. Its safe; you can go shopping. If you have an escort of 100 troops and 2 apache helicopters, Abrams tank flack jacket…

Well, that’s all for now. I feel better, don’t you? I know it’s hard reading so many things, trying to stay informed. I know you’d rather go bike and drink and play Halo 3, but think of it this way. When you are old and broken, you can say ‘You have no idea how bad it was. I was there. I lived thru that shit. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!” And that is where true happiness lies.


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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

11 Replies to “Getting back on track…”

  1. I have a Phone sex operator next to me..Everyday from 7 am til 3 pm..the girl cums 50 times a day…And shes hot….Kinda driving me mad……whats a guy to do……????

    Jonny is busy..Job, kid, wife…Hes in the mix , like the rest of america…No Time to think about its collapse, Just enough time to Shit, and pay bills…Thats How Bushco is winning….And will continue to do so…Ill say it…Rudys gonna win..Hes a Bushco yes man, And face it Hilary, Obama..Are Fucknuts….The whole thing will be fixed…..Aw Shit….Stupidity, American style…..what a Sweet thing….If only Aliens, would Visit us, Maybe all the Christian Fucks, would kill themselves..That would be an Awsome Day….

  2. I stay off the site for a few days and BAMO! all kinds of shit happens:

    Another Gay Republican Sex Scandal. What is with these people? Maybe America would be a better place if these upright assholes would come out of the closet, get laid on a regular basis and smoke a little weed. I know why the religious right men are closeted gays, have you ever been around the women of the religious right? Might make anyone switch, or at least think about it.

    And, Dubyah might have to do without his attorney general for the rest of his term? Considering the previous men that he picked for the post, that is probably the best thing for america.

    And…THANK GOD FOR DEAD FUNDAMENTALISTS!!! Falwell is gone, let’s hope the “pastor” of Westboro Baptist Church will soon join him. Fuck you Fred. Glad your ass got sued.

    And remember, “Hibernation in Black” / “Back in Black.” Hang in there Jon.

  3. “If only Aliens, would Visit us, Maybe all the Christian Fucks, would kill themselves..That would be an Awsome Day….”

    This is an awesome quote.

  4. I love the “Fuk you rich boy”.

    You know GW does really talk like some redneck assbackwards hick around his buddies or close friends? You think he studdered and acted like a cowboy at Yale? No, that is part of the act. Republicfucks want him to act like that, because the sheep of America can identify with him. Baaaa….

  5. Thanks for that run down of the stupidity of the week. Leave it to the Reps to keep hanging themselves with thier own nooses.
    And the hypocritical hate mongering Nazi Christian Right to keep showing the mass insantity that is organized religion.

    Lets not forget oil going over $90/ barrel. Look out here comes 4 buck a gallon gas.

  6. i thought this website was supposed to be funny, and about bikes. nothing but politics and water-boarding. neither of which is funny or bikes.

  7. Jesus f-ing christ on a fucking crutch… make up your minds people. No politics (which is something that affests us all…) no emo joking… no discussion of Lance’s new zombie sex-puppet…

    Fuck me. If it were only bikes even JONNY wouldn’t come back.

    Grow a pair and read a book or three. Then we will let you in the clubhouse.


  8. All I wanna do is ride my bike, fuck muppets, toss midgets, look at porn and doke smope. Keep it simple, that’s my motto.

  9. Phelps is a boil on the ass of America. GW is the idiot that wandered off from his village, much like the gardener in Being There. I wish I could be seen in public with one of the Olsen twins. And my 24 year old recumbent is now dual 700c wheels, I only have to carry 2 tubes when I’m out touring.


  10. …the difference between kozinski’s chauncey gardener in “being there” & gwb is that one is a simplistic man whose gentle observations of life around him could be easily interpreted as wisdom, whereas the other is a foolish simpleton whose hasn’t had an original idea in his fucking life but due to political machinations, does have the fate of the world in his hands…

    …just sayin’…