The Fat Ass Quaker Abides

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This is my last free weekend. On the 9th the worm turns. It is upon me again; yet another football season. And I say “upon” as in “on top of”. Such is the curse of an Eagles fan. It falls on us like a ton of bricks each fall and ruins, yes ruins, each and every week through Christmas.

I’ve done what I can. I have a new Bill Penn statue, pointing eastward from 7,000 feet above sea level.

The Fat Ass Quaker Abides

What more can I do?

What else is going on? McNabb ain’t back to 100% yet. Trotter got cut. And Reid’s kid is a complete fucking train wreck. Good times.


Reid’s Son Enters Guilty Plea on Gun and Drug Charges
Reid’s son is charged with DUI and drug violations
Britt Reid Has Serious Drug Issues

It’s time to start betting against my buddies with NFC East teams. Why? Because misery loves company, that’s why.

From: 40 Hands
Subject: NFC East wager time?
Big Jonny,
Let me know if you want to make a bet for the football season. Straight up, Giants vs. Eagles whoever has the best record is the winner. As usual I’m all about wagering booze (40s for old times sake or yager for a new twist). Here’s a legit site for your betting funds, just check out and see what offers they have for you.

I guess he didn’t get enough last year when I took him for a case of Old English.

I hope this year treats me as well.

Those fucking Eagles…

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

4 Replies to “The Fat Ass Quaker Abides”

  1. commin from a Skins fan, I feel your pain and raise you a bottle of Sailor Jerry’s! 4 G’s throwin down!


  2. At least your boys aren’t being humiliated like the Chiefs with a reality show… Bring me some form of coverage of the fall classics.

  3. …superstitious ?…hell, i ain’t superstitious…every dude knows ya just gotta do the right kinda stuff so yer teams’ gotta chance…