Rapha, this one’s for you

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Yo Marketing dude man of Rapha (thinking theys gots oney) did you spend all the cash on strippers and hotdog outfits and forget this was a SS fucking race? Couldn’t you of traded some that flashy bullshit poser gear off to some local for his SS bike? Also, your mechanic Tommy boy couldn’t figure out how to SS that bike with gears really quick? Sounds like lazy got the best of him. SSCXWC doesn’t mean Super Sexy Cyclocross World Championships (Jesus, I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you but I will so you know next time) It really means, Single Speed Cyclocross World Championships. Two things you guys forgot to do, Start the race with the right bike and end it with a fucking tattoo bitches! So really you didn’t win- you gotta play by the rules because there was a line behind you in both the women’s and men’s category that was salivating for a hotdog and hungry for that damn tattoo! Rapha should be DF, its that simple.

Our Hodala homies are in support of this bullshit deal, so they made these lovely shirts- here’s the purchasing info if ya need to get in on the action. These are the jokes, folks.

Relegate

About caveman

I am... Caveman. Spokane, Washington, USA

189 Replies to “Rapha, this one’s for you”

  2. fucking troll ass bitch sticking up for dbags (yes Julie & Chris are fucking tards)….Read comment thread 103.

  3. i don’t give a fuck how fast or slow you are, if you win or lose, are pro or amateur, hipster or square. just don’t be a dick and treat the event/race/whateverthefuckyoucallit with respect. people put a lot of time and effort into this thingy. to not even stay for the ceremonies is being a dick. there’s no defending that. just a straight dick move.

  4. Tattoos are a personal expression and choice. SSXCWC might think its not a ‘brand’ and that it’s sponsors aren’t ‘corporate’ (as opposed to ‘the man’ and global conglomerate rapha), but honestly who in there right mind would get a tat form the sponsor of an event??? It’s not like taking the green jacket, it’s like Tiger Woods telling a sponsor of the masters that he won’t have a logo put on his forehead!!! And them bithcin’ that he didn’t pony up and let them tat his sorry ass whilst drunk!

    If you only want people who will take a branded-tattoo on their skin to turn up at the event, then the entry pool for next year just became real fuckin’ small dudes!

  7. …gee…i haven’t mentioned the event since wednesday night…here it is, friday, 2 days later…

    …i’ve been ripping on ‘rapha’, the company & what i think of their attitude & overpriced gear, no doubt about it…haven’t said shit about their riders in 2 days…

    …i AM guilty of dicking with clowns like you & the few others who ARE still talking about ‘the event’ but no, johnny ‘thunder’, your pissy little rant should be directed at yourself & those other particular clowns…

    …time to wake the fuck up, wad…

    …i will admit, when i’m bored, i like to fuck with people who don’t
    ‘get it’…it’s a negative trait i’d be wise to rid myself of…but until such time………

  8. Cave Dick,

    Can you help me out on some facts here?

    Fact: the promoter calls it a World Championship (that infers it’s a race where I come from)
    Fact: promoter set up website taking registration fee (seems like a race again??)
    Fact: promoter claims amateurs get to take on”Top ranked Pro’s for the prestigious title (hmmm….sounds like a race to me)
    Fact: promoter didn’t pre inspect bikes to make sure they were compliant (although sounds like the guy that won was actually at a disadvantage carrying all those extra gears he couldn’t use)
    Fact: promoter didn’t put in writing tattoo is required ( better make sure all the corporate geeks are in on your little joke)
    Fact; promoter buckles like a weak ass and doesn’t even DQ the winners (even after all the whining and sniveling from the outraged purists)

    I could be mixing my facts here, but all the responsibility falls onto the promoter, who did a sub par jog either converting or enforcing the rules……….or the only other thing is all you little SS dorks got but hurt someone came and rained on your parade and the bounced!

  14. If this was a legitimate gripe and not just a smear campaign, you’d all be complaining about Focus too. Remember them? The co-sponsor of the team? I haven’t seen them mentioned once.

    This is just about a bunch of bitter dirtbag bikers who were looking for an excuse to hate on a brand, and now they have it. The sad part is they took down what should have been a legitimate bike event with them and turned it into a crappy dirt allycat who berates their winners.

    The organizers allowed the pros to race rigged SS’s without doing the qualifiers. They also have always said you can’t race the next year if you don’t get the tattoo…not tattooo required. Complain to them if you’re so upset, because they let it all happen.

  15. @ Triple

    Fact: Double Douchers(D2)Green jacket comparison is stretching it (a removable shitty green jacket and a permant shitty tattoo are two different “awards”, “traditions” entirely)
    Fact: Winner’s of the green jacket are actual real skilled professionals (unlike winners of SSCXWC)
    Fact: promoter didn’t coin the term “World Championships”(how about learning the traditional of a real World Championship event,before you bastardize it with gay concepts:Link to real W/C event here for your reference-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzgVHd6fY3I&feature=fvsr
    Fact: promoter was already aware of a prior “corporate pro” rider winning and bailing on the holy grail of all that is sacred tattoo.
    Fact: knowing above said facts, the tard still let the event get punked by a couple greedy “corporate pro” racers. (not very smart)
    Fact: if promoter makes tattoo a requirement to win, then its not a real World Championship event then is it? (Play along with me here, as I pretend the event is legitimate in the first place)
    Fact: if above is enforced, then the race, er event,ummm…gathering is really the first idiot that crosses the line that’s willing to get the shitty tattoo.
    Fact: Changing the event to SSCJCX (Single Speed Cirlce Jerk Cyclocross….jesus can’t believe I have to spell that out)would alleviate all future heartache, and ensure that tradition is honored.
    Fact: If you get juked at your own event by a couple “corporate pink geeks” and are not even smart enough to convey and enforce your own rules, then shut the fuck up and live with it!!!

  16. Even I am surprised at how many Rapha trolls have jumped on this. Comment #153 nails it— doesn’t matter if you’re Lance Armstrong, it was a dick move.

  17. Ive wanted to go to this race since the very first one, and have followed it since, and never knew the tattoo was required. Glad I didn’t win! That tattoo looks more like you passed out around mean friends with a tattoo gun.

  21. @The Facts

    Good choice as a vid.

    Bacon played a real biker on TV just like your Rapha boys do.

    So what kinda tat we talking aboot here ??

  22. Jeez. 171 comments on this? This shit is played out. At this point no-one is convincing anyone. It’s a discussion on the interwebtardtubes. There’s no room for detail and nuance. I’m with D2, this thread done jumped the shark a while ago and got a serious case of the yawns.

  23. @ the facts,

    apparently you are the world champion of repetitive lists. yes, we’ve also read all the comment that were posted before you were here. contribute something new or don’t bother responding.

    Fact: they knew what the deal was before they showed up. (notice how i didn’t say “rules”?)

    Fact: they didn’t show up with a dedicated singlespeed. kinda douchey.

    Fact: they didn’t stay for the ceremonies.

    Fact: the promoters/organizers/founders should not have backed down.

    Fact: just because they were the fastest people on the course doesn’t make them “right” or make them “winners”.

    Fact: If they “won” they would have really shitty tattoos.

  26. yeah, i think i’m outta garbage to spew about this. just remember, “it’s not epic unless you film it.” fuckin’ mice parade.

  28. I still wanna know what the tat is ?

    “@el jefe, It got gang banged and left for dead.”

    Priceless.

  31. That’s it ?? That’s the tat ??

    I was pissed before.

    Now I’m medieval.

    Fuck gang bangs. Fuck golf. Fuck Grammar. Fuck Facts.

    Totally Fuck Rapha.

  32. …rapha – ‘pretentious as fuck’…

    …they really oughta adopt that line…

  34. …somebody oughta send one a’ those puppies to gov. rick perry…

    …i think he needs some a’ that ‘warm & fuzzy feeling’ in his life…

  37. NOT trying to keep this thread alive but I note that cycle Goddess
    jacquie phelan has an insight into the event.

    http://jacquiephelan.wordpress.com/2011/11/23/you-are-all-my-daughters/

    I also note that there was a Drunkcyclist on a green singlespeed in attendance, nicely complimented with a fetching pink bag,who looked pretty lean & mean, (the cyclist, not the bag).

    http://jacquiephelan.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_9582.jpg

    Identify yourself sir!

  38. @Hurben Thanks for the link

    Jacquie writes an interesting, non-confrontational account of the race.
    She describes her joy in taking part without attacking others because they don’t conform to the tribal, conformist bullshit that passes for “bike culture” in some circles.

    A lot of the whiners on this and other sites remind me of a bunch of republicans lounging around the country club badmouthing others because they don’t wear the right clothes or drive expensive cars or don’t live in exclusive gated communities.

    Learn from her example. Ask yourself, “What would Jacquie do?”

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