Some wives rule. Some wives suck ass

by

This ought to make you glad for what you have. I know it did for me.

From: Kid Wonder
Subject: Some wives rule. Some wives suck ass.
So, I ran out of interesting things to read on the interwebs the other day and happened upon the VeloSnooze website. The tech section actually had a cool article about a guy who is taking the plunge and going to duke it out with the Belgies in ‘cross this year. His wife is totally in favor of it too. It almost makes me think I might find some woman who could happily put up with my bicycling interest.

Then there’s the converse: my best friend’s wife.

This is not really bike related. It’s more, how you say, “I hate my buddy’s wife” related. We all hate her. She’s a mean, controlling, conniving cunt who pressured a guy I’ve known since my pre-pube era into marrying her. We all told him he didn’t have to, there were options. Despite his reticence, he buckled.

It’s been a shit-show ever since.

Tonight I received the following email:

To: me, M_ [brother of friend]
From: [The Cunt]

Greetings:

We are going to need the money back that J_ lent you at Rick’s Strip Club. He spent over $400 buying lap dances/drinks for everyone (not himself he says–ummm, right). We can’t afford to spend that much money and I am definitely not okay with it spent on filth. You know how many dances/drinks you got out of it so please tally it up and send the check to:

J_ or L_
[that street they live on]
[in WA]

The only people I know of who where there for sure are A_, M_ and C_ so please let the other guys know they need to pay too–again the total was around $400 and I am expecting all of it back.

Thank you and I look forward to receiving your check in the mail.

L_

P.S. No, I am not joking.

P.P.S. The next time you go out to do “single guy stuff,” please do not include my husband. He is a married man and though you may not yet understand it, this kind of thing is not acceptable in a marriage.

Ok, so homeboy made a mistake. No, I am not talking about the strip club. I’m talking about letting his discovery be known by attempting to close the account from which he withdrew money on that fateful evening, only to have the wife find the confirmation of said action from the bank. Then, the weather turned to bullshit.

Lessons learned? Indeed.
1. Don’t marry a cunt.
2. If you ignore #1, keep your fiscal wits about you when you go out with the boys, i.e. DON’T USE THE JOINT ACCOUNT.

Sigh. Just thought I’d share.

-Kid Wonder in Seattle

p.s. I got hammered with the group before they went to the strip club. I was too busy having the moves put on me by a big-assed chick named Destiny. Seriously. Otherwise, I’d gladly wipe my ass with a c-note and send it to ms.holier-than-though.

by