Some wives rule. Some wives suck ass

This ought to make you glad for what you have. I know it did for me.

From: Kid Wonder
Subject: Some wives rule. Some wives suck ass.
So, I ran out of interesting things to read on the interwebs the other day and happened upon the VeloSnooze website. The tech section actually had a cool article about a guy who is taking the plunge and going to duke it out with the Belgies in ‘cross this year. His wife is totally in favor of it too. It almost makes me think I might find some woman who could happily put up with my bicycling interest.

Then there’s the converse: my best friend’s wife.

This is not really bike related. It’s more, how you say, “I hate my buddy’s wife” related. We all hate her. She’s a mean, controlling, conniving cunt who pressured a guy I’ve known since my pre-pube era into marrying her. We all told him he didn’t have to, there were options. Despite his reticence, he buckled.

It’s been a shit-show ever since.

Tonight I received the following email:

To: me, M_ [brother of friend]
From: [The Cunt]

Greetings:

We are going to need the money back that J_ lent you at Rick’s Strip Club. He spent over $400 buying lap dances/drinks for everyone (not himself he says–ummm, right). We can’t afford to spend that much money and I am definitely not okay with it spent on filth. You know how many dances/drinks you got out of it so please tally it up and send the check to:

J_ or L_
[that street they live on]
[in WA]

The only people I know of who where there for sure are A_, M_ and C_ so please let the other guys know they need to pay too–again the total was around $400 and I am expecting all of it back.

Thank you and I look forward to receiving your check in the mail.

L_

P.S. No, I am not joking.

P.P.S. The next time you go out to do “single guy stuff,” please do not include my husband. He is a married man and though you may not yet understand it, this kind of thing is not acceptable in a marriage.

Ok, so homeboy made a mistake. No, I am not talking about the strip club. I’m talking about letting his discovery be known by attempting to close the account from which he withdrew money on that fateful evening, only to have the wife find the confirmation of said action from the bank. Then, the weather turned to bullshit.

Lessons learned? Indeed.
1. Don’t marry a cunt.
2. If you ignore #1, keep your fiscal wits about you when you go out with the boys, i.e. DON’T USE THE JOINT ACCOUNT.

Sigh. Just thought I’d share.

-Kid Wonder in Seattle

p.s. I got hammered with the group before they went to the strip club. I was too busy having the moves put on me by a big-assed chick named Destiny. Seriously. Otherwise, I’d gladly wipe my ass with a c-note and send it to ms.holier-than-though.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

11 thoughts on “Some wives rule. Some wives suck ass

  1. Send me the address…
    I’ll take care of it…

    I wasn’t always the mild-mannered stay-at-home dad that I am now…

    Do you want up close and personal or reach out and touch from 1000 meters?

  2. Maybe the un-named Ball & Chain would prefer that he get a girlfriend instead of the occassional trip to the titty bar?

  3. It’s time like this that I recall something my dear old dad told me before he left this shitty world… He said “Don’t spoil a perfectly good relationship by getting married”.

    He and my mother stayed together till the day he died, 22 years all told.

  4. That guy has to wake up and ask himself an important question

    “Is the fucking I’m getting worth the fucking I’m taking?”

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  6. If she wants to change you; than she doesn’t want to be with you. She wants to be with someone else ie. the person she is trying to change ou into. Leave her for a woman who love you for who you are.