German Invents ‘Spray-On’ Condom to Fit All Sizes

File this under “what the fuck?”

Good news for men whose penises are either so large or so small that they can’t find a condom to fit them: A German inventor has come up with a sprayed-to-measure system that should ensure a snug fit for even the most unusual sizes.

…To those who doubt his invention, [Jan Vinzenz] Krause points out that inventors and scientists have had to battle skeptics throughout history.

“The theologian Giordano Bruno was burnt as a heretic because he suggested that the earth revolves around the sun,” his institute says on its Web site. “Skeptics have a long history. Those who dare to take new routes have always had to battle the defenders of the status quo.”

Source: spiegel.de

Fucking Germans…

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

12 thoughts on “German Invents ‘Spray-On’ Condom to Fit All Sizes

  1. …think it’s only fair to wait for our resident homeboy to cast the first stone into this pool…

    …ahh, bikepunk ???…condom/frame protector ???…

  2. Maybe a schnitzel wrap? I hear you grow them pretty large out that way,at least according to Big Pun…

  3. “The system works a bit like a car wash. The man put his penis in a chamber and presses a button to start the jets of liquid latex, sucked from a detachable cartridge.”

    I wish it came in a spray can instead. I’d be spraying the shit out of chasing chihuahuas.

  4. no surpise that this comes from Deutchland where they use the word arbeiten in every other sentence

  5. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “I’m gonna open a 55 gallon drum of whoop ass !!!”

  6. I don’t know, I could have used something like this back in the day… middle kid was the result of a busted condom, just lucky that there weren’t a couple of dozen more. Back then condoms only sold in one size, too small.

    Opus

  7. Art- When you dip your winkie in a can of Plasti-dip, please record this event on video and post here. Given the noxious petroleum odor of said dip, I’m sure your subsequent dance would be *special*.

  8. Man, I could make that shit last a long time…I mean with my little pecker and lack of getting laid…uh…I mean…uh…that shit wouldn’t last a month…damn…