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A friend taught me a long time ago that one of many interesting ways to meet new people when going to new towns is to have a nice, blistery shiner. A maxillary orbital sunset, as it is. What stranger isn’t going to weep compassionately for the poor dipshit with a black eye? What retired bar brawler isn’t going to buy you a stiff glass of sauce? What strange girl is going to pretend like she doesn’t think you’re tough? The general populous knows no such callousness. Not in this time of war, anyway. Americans today are chomping at the bit for a good fight, and chomping even harder for a hero to emerge from the malay, stepping forward to claim leadership and demonstrate an obscene measure of courage.

Yeah, that’s not me. But I am going to Chicago this weekend to see an old friend, and meet some new ones. And I did take a sock to the face in preparation for this fun weekend. The “one inch punch” seems to have done the trick this time.

Check out this dumbass.

So maybe you want to file this one away for a time when you predict some social anxiety, or at least a rager of a good weekend.

Contributor’s note: In keeping with continuity of this fine web page, I will say this: bikes.

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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA