So I’ve always been a late bloomer…

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Never did much of anything before anyone else, per se. I have been riding fixies longer than most kids here in Munich have been off their mommas tit, for sure. Most things I get a late start. Drinkin’, sex, Le Tour… All the things we cover here more or less, i got introduced to by friends after they ‘had it all figured out’.

Let’s just say I’m getting a late start on the season here. 33km isn’t so much. Neither are 675 meters of climbing. (20 miles and 2200 feet of climbing for you non-metric fuckers.) But for me, who has logged more miles walking than in the saddle so far this summer, it’s gonna hurt.

You think I'mma tell you my REAL name?
You think I'mma tell you my REAL name?

So there ya go. Maybe you’ll get a race report, maybe you’ll get a whole steaming pile of nothin’ and like it; asking for more seconds like, “Please PLEASE tell us more about the non-event that is your racing season…”

Get used to the abuse, ladies. I’m not goin anywhere, I’m just resting up. Just sharpening my knives for when the fight really starts. Guns for show; knives for a pro. Big shiny fuckoff ones.


edited to add : Course link. Get yer GPX and profile info here, if you give a shit.

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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

9 Replies to “So I’ve always been a late bloomer…”

  1. Shit. You did more than me all year. Work has sucked all else from me.

    Wish I had the nads/money judi had to quit her POS job.

    Ain’t happening.

    Keep riding bro. To make up for the sorry SOB’s who wish but can’t.

  2. I hear ya, FFF. Lately I’m wiped at the end of the day. And now it’s Saturday I barely left the couch. But I’ve been nursing a pretty ugly contusion. Figure I’ll at least ride some early tomorrow before the heat gets too bad.

  3. @FFF – i dont have jack shit – you can ask gnome. he saw where and how we live. i also have a husband who is willing to take on the bills for a month while i figure shit out. that job sucked to the point that a relapse was in the cards if i didn’t do something – so quit talking about something you know nothing about. work sucks, but you can still ride a fucking bike. jesus fucking christ i worked 40 hours a week and trained 20+ hours a week for IM and mohican. its all about what YOU want to do. make excuses all you want for the reasons you dont ride.

  4. @judi

    I wish. I’m a short order cook. 60 hours on my feet in a hot kitchen in summer is a bitch and 1/2. I walk out of the place literally hurting.

    Won’t start riding again until autumn when it slows down.

    Looking around for an easy cube-farm kinda job. That’s what I need. I’m too old for this shit. I hear you on the relapse part. It’s creeping in to my mind lately too. My girlfriend is the only thing keeping me honest.

  5. That’s what I was thinking, FFF. I do physically demanding skilled manual work where ladders and heavy shit are involved. I bake in the summer, freeze in the winter and usually walk off the site at the end of a day with about a wheelbarrow full of dirt on me. Plus I’m days from my 60th birthday. Can’t really compare that to sitting in an air conditioned cubicle.

    And I ain’t bitchin’. I chose this life and it’s been good, mostly. Just sayin’ that folks who ain’t walked in our shoes don’t need to talk until they have.

  6. FFF – i was a server for 20 years. i know the biz. spent time in the kitchen too, in a restaurant with no air conditioning (i used to be the “toast” girl. dominic works as a server/bartender and is on his feet all night too. it’s like pulling teeth to try and get him on a bike these days. it sucks, the restaurant biz, it really does. and i am about to go back to it in leu of that shiteous corporate travel shit. couldn’t take one more second on the phone with some asshole crying about a center seat on the fucking airplane.

    @jte – you cannot even imagine some of the shitty jobs i have done. you just do not want to go there.

  7. The operative phrase being “have done”. How many miles were you logging back then?