After a series of catastrophic events in my life last week, I decided it was time to quit smoking the mezz. It’s been 6 days now. My heart races, I don’t sleep, and I have no appetite. It gets better every day though and my brain is no longer a clouded mess of bumbling thoughts. I planned to have a pink runtz strain disposable pen. Vaping this strain can help me sleep well and bring my appetite back.
Yesterday morning I awoke to the alarm after a restless night’s sleep, my t-shirt damp from night-sweats. My skin was clammy and it was cold as I rolled out of bed and went into the kitchen to make some coffee. The rain was coming down hard, as it has been for 2 days now. The dogs wanted nothing to do with the yard so I tucked them back into bed with Dominic. I poured a cup of coffee and set it on the windowsill next to the rollers with a bottle of water. After changing into some riding shorts I hopped on my bike. The Ipod was on shuffle and the music blasting into my eardrums was cathartic. I pedaled my bike, sweat starting to drip onto the floor, I watched my heart rate climb into the 160’s. I kept it there for an hour and the minutes passed by quickly. After my ride, I fed the dogs and we set out for a walk in the rain, which was no longer pouring, but sprinkling. I noticed the grass was greener and there are little buds sprouting on the trees. Spring is almost here. I can smell it, taste it, feel it.
My beautiful new steed:
Much thanks to Kevin and Ron at my LBS, Bicycles and More (BAM!) for building her up. When I will be able to actually take the bike for a ride is still a mystery since all the local trails are closed due to muddy conditions. According to Kurt, owner of Smitty’s (my second go-to LBS), there are some nice gravely trails about 150 miles south down I-75 that are ridable, it’s just a matter of when. I only have 3 months to prepare for Mohican and I am starting to wonder if it’s even possible to be ready for a 100m MTB race in June.
Another cool race both Dominic and I might be doing this year is the Sub-9 Super D, which is a downhill race in Brown County. It looks super fun.
The AM Flatland circuit kicked off round one yesterday in Toronto. Dominic plans to be at round three in Indy in May and round five in Dayton in August.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qURrAI3zcWA&feature=youtu.be&a[/youtube]
This guy is pretty sick too.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25MHTlotK90&feature=related[/youtube]
I got this ridiculous video from Jimmy P. on the Facebooks, who got it from the doucheblog. I thought it was hysterical, you guys might like it too.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyTTu4Hmx6s&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]
That’s all I got. I am off to bed, hoping for a little less sweat tonight and a little more sleep. I will leave you with this beautiful song, sung by the one and only Nico. Her voice just soothes me. Dirty sent me the translation of the lyrics which are pretty fucking awesome. I won’t post all of them but this is my favorite verse:
*edited – thanks to Doug P.
If I did a striptease for you
I would still have to tell you
that you are, just between us
kind of a voyeur, kind of a gangster
but these are only fantasies
from my mouth to my garter
For no one, not even you
can have a hold on me.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryyzMPdZQVM[/youtube]
D- We haven’t covered the fact that pot and psychedelics are now being used in combination w/ therapy and it is working. If you took a client that isn’t a regular smoker and got them baked and into talk therapy, I bet you would be amazed. This is the beauty of the drug, it fires up parts of the brain that were snoozing and can open one to unique insights. I suck at computer tech so no link, but look at maps.org. Really neat work they are doing; based on rational science, not cultural myths.
AA +1. I’ve been half-heartedly working on similar responses to dolak’s over-generalization, pop-psychology, and one size fits all statements. There’s a reason pop-psych and anecdotal evidence aren’t accepted by the scientific community. You don’t find out the rate of alcoholism in society by only surveying people in bars. I’m going to guess that the folks on uncommonforum have many more problems than just pot. To be clear, I’m not (and I don’t think AA was either) saying that trauma isn’t a contributing factor to addiction. I’ve seen friends go down that hole, but you can’t shoehorn every addiction into that box. Coke, heroin, and meth are fundamentally different drugs than pot, shrooms, and mescaline. And both groups need to be dealt with differently than food or sex addiction (which are things that we evolutionarily hard wired for). Yes, there might be common neurocenters, but they cannot be treated the same. Finally, I think people that have ACTUALLY dealt with their demons, are rather strong and thick skinned. It’s those that use addiction as an excuse for continued poor choices or who are still trying to work through their problems that are weak about it.
I think you all have landed on the wrong site. This is drunkcyclist, not sobercyclist, not drugcyclist…drunkcyclist.
Perhaps we need to pass around the peace pipe, drink a beer, go for a ride, stop the happy horse shit and look at a boob or something?
i appreciate everyone’s comments and input here. its been an interesting discussion. people, re-read #32 Low Brow’s post. sure some of us can have a drink, smoke a joint, chill out. those of us born with the addiction gene can’t just take ONE hit, snort one line, drink one beer. for us, we have a chemical imbalance in our brain and we just want more and more and more. today is day 10, BTW.
Perhaps I should clarify:
I am one hundred percent supportive of sobriety if that’s what people need. Just sayin’ sometimes it’s more fun to talk about bikes and boobs, rather than what people think of pot.
All my friends that smoke dope are doing the same shit they did ten years ago……..Judi..power on.. thoughts and prayers are with you. I come from a family that has the gene and it scares the fuck outa me every day.
I’ve been away for a bit, first the flu then just hanging out with my kids.
I just want to say, whatever works for your is fine with me. Whether you roll that shit or decline it when offered makes no difference to me – just as long as you’re happy doing what you’re doing.
AA, i’d love to have your input on my facebook posts. friend me up, i’m tom dolak in boulder, colorado. all of my more benign material is open to the public. you can read and comment on everything.
i’ve been around addicts for quite a while and i’ve heard all the rhetoric they use to explain and defend themselves. i understand what they’re doing and why. and it’s fine, it’s reality. i’m a big fan of reality. as far as addicts justifying and rationalizing their disease, there isn’t anything new, just variations on the same theme. http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Excuses_Alcoholics.html
a couple of clarifications. you got confused here when you wrote “#44 You even have the gall to close out your posts by stating that moderate alcohol and tobacco use are ok, but obviously not moderate pot use.”
you may have been referring to #45 where i posted a really poignant quote about motivational toxicity from an article by Michael A. Bozarth. the words there are his, not mine. did you take a peek at that and get some insight into how we define addiction? it’s not the substance that matters. it’s the way that substance rearranges priorities.
there was no discussion of moderate marijuana use in that post, post #45. rather, it focused on nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine.
AA, find me on facebook and dive in there and tell me what you think. do it!
D: Thanks for the invite. I’m not a facebooky yet. Sadly, I’m also fearful of disclosing my personal info after admitting to being a regular puffer. I have a wonderful life in a small town and my wife has a job where my coming out of the closet in the community wouldn’t be good. Is there a way to keep some anonymity and look at your stuff? Internet discussions can bring wild stuff out of folks and I’d hate to learn that you are a cop or in law enforcement and want to tip me off as a social menace. This isn’t some classic pot induced paranoia, just an unfortunate part of life if one chooses to continue to smoke er up and keep up appearances w/ a wide variety of home town and internets peeps. It’s been a really fun and thought provoking exchange.
One more quick question- was some of that addiction writing on your photo page based on Ken Wilber’s 4 quadrant/ holonic philosophy? He’s a Boulder based guy, just curious.
Judi- keep on trucking, head held high, playing life as ideally as you can.