“i’m doping,” and another story. by Snakehawk.

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i’m not doping.  i’m trying to fit in here again.  i’m probably the smartest person on the whole site here, but i just haven’t chimed in lately to say anything about it because i’ve been too busy racking up impossibly high percent results in classes such as Math 140 and English 112.  then i got a new job and it rules.  before all of that i got a kick-ass baby, so sorry if i don’t have as much time as “fancy lawyer pants size 40 waistline roast beef backpack” to sit around and make sweet-assed websites all fucking day.

(side note, between august 2009 and the end of august 2010, i built two thousand three bicycles for the raleigh durham chapel hill, NC area.  i ain’t even playing.)

i know, i know….  you’re probably saying in your own voice, “dang, snakehawk – how you make such a high grade in advance college level academulic coursery when you such a galloping dummy?”

well.  first of all, my response to you would be, “you an ignant-ass hater, okay?”

then i’d be all, “i’m smarter than most lazers, bro.  let’s get barreled.”

so, at the local mall yesterday i saw some rad shit.  look.


the seat and rear suitcase are made of buffalo skin and stingray fur, chumps.


fuck a lowrider, son.

who need a ride to the dang mall?
who need a ride to the dang mall?

get on the back, jack.  pretty awesome stuff to just happen upon.  homie just decided to have his own stupid interbike contest in another town.  i didn’t see him around, but he was probably doing shots with this crew:


check out his site.  Josh Hadar. fantastic metal artist, and i wouldn’t mind taking one of his deth sledz on a 90-miler sometime.

now get off my back.  it’s sunday and i have a shitload of not-bike-riding to do.  where the laundry detergent at?

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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

20 Replies to ““i’m doping,” and another story. by Snakehawk.”

  1. It can be a good bicycle or it can be metal sculpture. It will never be both.

  2. Pretty sweet looking piece of sculpture/bicycle there. I disagree, they can’t be art, and a bike all at the same time. Look at some of the stuff the small builders are doing out there with lugs, and steelwork, and paint. Ah-fucking-mazing.

    Was this at Southpoint?

    I do miss Chapel Hill sometimes.

  3. ” i’m probably the smartest person on the whole site here”

    And the most modest, I’m sure.

  4. Math 140 was the last college class I took.

    Barely passed that class. Made my brain hurt for months after.

    But English 112 ??

    Ain’t that for ESL students ??

  5. …well, rope-a-dope, dope…

    …snake hawk found da soap…

    …he too cool ta mope…

    …when ridin’s a nope…

    …so da laun’ry get done…

    …by dis chapel hill son…

    …& raleigh’s got hope…

    …’cuz dat mind’s smokin’ rope…

  6. @giantcu92-Lugs, no matter how ornate, are an accepted, proven and time-honored method of joining tubes. Typically they are used to construct a functional and well-designed frame. I see none of that in the “art” depicted in this thread. Not that I’m against such shenanigans; not at all. But if it doesn’t advance the bicycle in terms of functionality, it’s not something I’d be interested in. Bicycles are elegantly simple and brilliantly efficient in and of themselves, and that’s always been enough for me.

  7. @Snake – I had the opportunity to ride the trike with my son, 2, and daughter, 4, at the show’s opening. Josh was very cool, and gave custom postcards to my kids signed “To a true low-rider, Josh.” A class act, and those are some fun and beautiful bikes.

    @Joe – Just because you don’t get it, doesn’t mean it’s not art AND functional.

  8. word, freddy! too many words, joe! poems, beegee! it was at u-mall, giant! i kid because i am a moron, bike punk! “ain’t”‘s not a word, FFF! go to 112! real talk, gnome! sunday as fuck, y’all!

  9. Shit. Who wouldn’t be doing shots of Wild Turkey with the Cutters? WE are the champions, my friend.

  10. The peanut gallery will continually pick our words apart and disagree just because they have NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
    Hey, at least I write my responses while I’m cooking at the same time.

  11. …hey, littlejar…do you call us “the peanut gallery” because you’re the one who’s always getting “shelled” ???…

    …besides, your response better fits a different column…this one is ‘snake hawk’s sunday cleanser’

  12. I’d tell you what I’m doing right now but I suspect it would break your heart.

  13. I’d love someone to break my heart.

    Old and burned out and not sure I have one anymore.

    Go ahead joe.

    Prove me wrong.

  14. Tell you what I’m gonna do on this Sunday afternoon. I’m gonna take my mother-fuckin brand new-sweet-as-fuck DC jersey for its first ride. It’s Stan’s vs. the Sonoran desert, part 3.

    How do you like them apples?

  15. That was yesterday for me. And it was awesome. I haven’t been able to ride at anytime after 10am without risking heat stroke for months.

  16. @douchearamma – ha fake twittwat. lol. Where’s the cheesegrater on that there bike? Oh, littlejar is shredding locatelli with it. Least he got taste. Shudda used a biopace to protect that tree – afterall they are good for not one thing but protecting a tree. Where’s the part on that bike that breaks bottles, terra cotta roof tiles, and knocks over trash cans? Tiz all she kneads. 2003 bikes is a number too close to 2009 and 2010 to be true. I call yer bluff. Do you have upc’s to prove it? BDJ is rad. Where’s the nugget?

  17. nug’s in tahoe, son! i got the paystubs, beeeeeitch! rooftiles ain’t got a number for my steel mexican shins. kill you. bdj is rad, yes.

  18. the midge has naught on a whoff of chest hair smoke. naughtxious deth, family squad. knox out the park, feed it to a dog. i wreck shit, midge. keep lost.