Humpday with Dirty.

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Today I got the call from Asian Bob. He is always busting my balls about not posting stuff on time and he is the first to ask whats up when I skip a week. This week was just a simple case of not having enough time to give it my all. I haven’t been riding enough and the world outside my window seems to be going bat-shit crazy.

My state is erupting over their immigration law. I have spent the past two weeks playing bullshit corporate games trying to save my job. I am discovering more and more people around me are lacking integrity all in the name of getting some action. Some douche actually hit me in the chest with a rotten orange while I was riding home from the pub the other night. I even had some random drunk guy come up to me and slap me for no reason. When I took him down to teach him a lesson, he still had enough fight left in him to pull out a clump of my hair. I tried to get an espresso the other day and the elite hipsters at my local coffee shop refused to put it in a to-go cup. Fuck you. I was in a hurry. It isn’t a fine Bordeaux it is a cup of coffee. Then yesterday I had a homeless guy walk up to me and hand me a lasso for no reason.  Maybe it is the heat of the AZ summer, maybe it was the full moon. All that I know is that people are acting like they have lost their goddamn minds. My buddy Maximum saw that I was having a rough time of it, so he made me go climb some rocks with him. It looked like this:


That helped quite a bit, and everybody needs more friends like that.  As for this weekend I am going to do what any red blooded American would do when he needs to get away…I’M GOING FUCKIN’ SURFING.

What kind of crazy stuff have you guys seen lately? Leave it in the comments, this could get good. Until next week, SURF’S UP! …and keep it dirty

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single women and single malt. Currently in Carbondale, CO Follow on Instagram @dirty_biker

13 Replies to “Humpday with Dirty.”

  1. Ape surf would be tops.

    The crazy stuff I’ve seen lately wont suffice for crazy like what you got faced with. I believe that is due to NOT being in the Sonoran desert oven this time of year. Up here in Flagstaff, there are gorgeous women roaming the streets on bicycles, and in sun dresses. That’s the most important thing.

    In fact, one girl said to me she didn’t face-fuck. I said she should. She giggled. So did I. I love this town sometimes. I really do.

    Then, the trails. Talk about crazy, they are even tacky and that’s unheard of generally. Salad days are upon us, I believe. Even now, the thunder rolls like m name is Armerican Brooks and this ten gallon hat is full. dig it. every bit.

    Then the bike. I got 34×18 reasons to ride again. feels like the first time. crazy.

    Sorry I didn’t joint the dirty wrecking crew for a brew the other night. I was cold chillen with the Nino. El Nino is the shit.

    Next time.

  2. i don’t do crazy, but i was there to see some random guy slap you. the pulling hair was a low blow. you did however, forget to mention a sunset bike ride, a cockatoo named filipe, and a sombrero. those were good things.

  3. “…a cockatoo named filipe…”

    …ohhh…so you’ve got them real purty limp wristed latin gay guys around your favorite watering hole too, huh ???…

    …why, fer the price of a cheap drink they’ll………well, shit…never you mind…

    …but i’m just sayin’…

  4. “I tried to get an espresso the other day and the elite hipsters at my local coffee shop refused to put it in a to-go cup”

    mindless consumption is foolish, good on them

  5. Dentist Drama……how did i get dragged into this? i need girls on bicycles in sundresses. i need to surf my troubles away. i need a vacation. Game on.

  6. What I really want to know is how did the homeless guy get the lasso in the first place? On the homeless top ten things to possess, a lasso seems way,way at the bottom. Score for you though! Yee haw! Let’s wrangle up some illegals!

  7. dirty, you don’t even know crazy till you meet me. :) bat shit fucking crazy. you should have posted that rad pic of you climbing you had on FB. that shit looks so like so much fun. i hope your work week goes better than last. i think both of us had a really shitty week last week. have fun surfing. i hear it’s all in the core.

  8. Dude, no pics right now, but I promise some sick ones in a week or two. A fella stopped by the shop today, telling me about one he took a few years ago in AK, 23 Bald Eagles in one frame. Damn.

    Sounds like you need to come back to the ‘Dacks this October for a proper east coast style bender.

    Get the fuck out of the man’s pocket, you need a better job =:)