Tour, day 3…

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I know, it’s not that cool to write about le Tour, but I have to after yesterday’s stage. Let’s just say, Cancellara, freakin’ ride of the day folks. Ride. Of. The. Fucking. Day. As we have all come to expect out of Mr. Motor Legs, he drilled it on the pave, and decimated, dare I say, ripped the field into complete and utter shreds. That little gasp you heard? That was Armstrong waving goodbye to his 8th Tour title. After getting pummeled yesterday, I don’t think we’ll see him giving anyone “the look” this year in the mountains. Hell, the man will be lucky to hang with the top contenders in ‘ze mountains.

Second best ride of the day yesterday? One Andy Schleck. He hung on Spartacus’ wheel as he laid down the dope track, and probably rode himself into contention. Every little second counts out there, and he picked up a few against Contador, Armstrong, and the others. Too bad his brother took a tumble and is out of the Tour now. Although, my wife keeps saying she finds the Brothers Schleck creepy. I don’t see it, but she is smarter than me, so I’ll go with it for now.

Third best ride? Gots to be Contador. Seriously. For the Lilliputian Spaniard, he rode the cobbles extremely well. He kept himself close to the front group, and gained lots of time on Armstrong. He almost looked, dare I say, comfortable out there yesterday. Maybe there is a future for Contador in the Classics? I don’t know for sure, but again, he looked like he was doing alright out there on the farm tracks of Northern France. Hinnault did it. Lemond rode them. Merckx definitely did it. What’s to stop Contador from maybe doing the same thing? He could bring back The Classics to Tour riders. Not that this would be a bad thing, because, really, I’m partial to the Spring Classics, which is why I loved the race yesterday.

And I really and truly think something has to be said about Thor’s little victory salute. Why? It was fucking stupid. Good for him. He won a stage. There was really no way he should have LOST that stage yesterday. The chest pound? Really? It’s not as if you did a ton of work on the way in. Yes, you had to hold Cancellara’s wheel, and no doubt, that was hard, but outsprinting that group at the end was like being the smartest kid in special ed class. It was too easy. If he had LOST that stage, I would still be laughing my ass off. Well, he didn’t, and he’s back in the Green jersey. After today’s stage, chances are pretty good, Cavendish will take a stage, maybe, but he ain’t gonna win the jersey this year. No chance. No how. Is Cavendish a one or two year wonder? He’s not winning this year like he did last year. On another note, I am happy to see Ale-Jet winning stages. The first one, he got lucky. Today, he just straight up won. Good for him. He’s had a rough go of it the last few years, and to see him taking down wins again, does a heart good. Then again, have always liked the sprinters. Now now, I know, some, or most, are gonna disagree with me, calling them wheelsucking opportunists, and you would be correct. But, and this has always been my assertion about sprinters. You KNOW what they’re good at. You KNOW what they’re all about. You KNOW they’re just hanging there until the finish. It is YOUR job to drop said sprinter before the finish line, because if you don’t, he’s going to light your ass up, and take the win. It’s really, that fucking simple. Of course, they’ll suffer through the mountains, or just quit. If Cavendish doesn’t get some points here soon, expect him to abandon on the first day the roads go upwards for long periods of time, or maybe get a mysterious “stomach virus” which causes him to, well, go home to lick his wounds, and try again next year.

I was psyched for Farrar to be really close, and in a good spot to take a win, until that French bastard slammed his bike into the back of his. That sucked, and I actually felt bad for Farrar. Perfect chance to take a win at le Tour, and someone has to go and screw him out of it. Not to mention, the busted wrist (hairline fracture still = broken. That can’t be comfortable). I’m thinking he can’t really sprint on it now. Vande Velde, busted ribs? Seriously? If that guy doesn’t have the worst luck, I don’t know who does. Thing about CVV, he’s a genuinely nice guy, as far as I can tell. Raced next to him a few times, talked to him a bunch, he’s approachable, and, well, nice. I wanted him to do well. There is always next year I suppose. It blows. Maybe he can bring the noise in the Vuelta?

One last note, and then I’ll stop. Look. Vaughters. Back 10 years ago, the sideburns, they were cool then. Now, it’s just weird. Get rid of those things, you look like an idiot. Seriously. Shave those fuzzy handles off man. They don’t make you look smarter or anything, they make you look like a douche.

Alright, ‘nuff from me.

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About giantcu92

Engineer living in the NOVA, and working for "The Man". Cycling and political junky. All things 2 wheeled are good. 4 wheels? Eh, OK, but 2 wheels better. Washinton, DC, USA

25 Replies to “Tour, day 3…”

  1. I thought Thor was a bit lame as well. He didn’t feel the wind much in that break, even when they were chasing down Hesjedal, and he sure could have. Every person in the break with him wanted time. That’s all Andy Schleck, Evans and Thomas wanted out of the deal; time, time, time. No one there was going to get rid of Thor on the cobbles, save Cancellara – and he was busy absolutely burying himself for Schleck. Thor had an armchair ride in. It was almost embarrassing to watch him bang on his chest like that. Celebrate something that is actually difficult for you to do, like, for example, getting by Petacchi.

  2. …always been a fan of thor ‘smash’ hushovd but his rating on my “esteem-o-meter” just dropped a number of points, first with his anger & whining about the stage 2 peleton’s decision to ride to a neutralized finish & then after not having stuck his nose in the wind all day through stage 3, he absolutely crows about winning the stage & the green…whoa, lutefisk lovers…
    …where did the “class” disappear to, smash…

    …ryder hesjedal gets a shout out for yesterdays ride, in my book…not the usual “break that’s gonna get caught in the final 5k’s” action, especially on the stones…the kid rode great…

    …& while the lance-ster got ‘nailed” yesterday, that was a masterful chase back…c’est la vie…luck of the draw but he has had his good luck throughout the years…

    …i agree…good to see ale-jet petacchi able to say, “hey…i’ve still got speed & i do have timing”…nice finish…

  3. Favorite quote of the Tour so far:

    Career change, anyone?

    If there was also a daily prize for hand-wringing, yesterday’s might well have gone to Omega-Pharma directeur sportif Roberto Damiani. “Riders who don’t want to race in these conditions ought to ask themselves whether they’d rather go and spend their day in a factory,” Damiani commented of Monday’s go-slow.

  4. Though PRO cycling is surely a perilous way to make a living… Damiani FTW!

    Those Arenburg coal mines look the awful shit in comparison.

    And what’s with Jens? How do ya’ll feel about him after that whine session that even embarrassed my 2 year old ?

  5. First of all, thanks for the spoiler asshole! Some of us have jobs and watch when we get home you stupid fuck! And yes, in this group it’s only “cool” to discuss the classics and Judy’s races, but I thought Lance-hating had run it’s course among you underground cycling hipsters, but I guess you’re behind the curve on that one too.(Oh, by the way BUSH LIED!) Anyway, the ol’ cancer survivor FLATTED, otherwise he would have put more time on Contador, who along with Andy S would have had to get it back in the mountains (without his ‘creepy’ brother to help). Um..not that I like Lance, because to do so would make me so un-cool. Thanks again for the spoiler.. time to go shave my sideburns.

  6. While you’re talking shameful performances…

    Gerrans, day 3: “Not long after that sector of pave I dropped back to the car to get some bidons for the guys. After handing out the bidons, the bunch slowed down to squeeze through a one lane roundabout. I didn’t notice this immediately and once I did I had to hit the brakes really hard to slow down. I went up on my front wheel…I think someone came across in front of me, as the next thing I knew I was going straight over the bars. I hit the deck landing on my face. The only way I can describe this would be to dive off a diving board into an empty swimming pool.”

    I don’t know, wasn’t there, but it sounds pretty clear to me. Crash caused by lack of attention. He hit his brakes hard enough to flip over? I learned how not to do that a long time ago, and I’m no professional cyclist.

    Is being an accident prone dipshit cause for disqualification or not in these classics? When should a guy say: “I should quit”
    Right about now, Simon. Or, does your team need you to keep causing crashes?

    Don’t these guys know when the bottlenecks are coming up? Aren’t they super human, sharp, and on it; more than just ultra-tough, getting up and shaking off the skin they lose and getting back on? Maybe sometimes quitting is good.
    That landing in a pool bit gets me.
    Nope, imagine instead being thrown across a massive pool, not diving in. That would do more than just cut up your lips and give a black eye.That’s a dead blow vs. moving landing, Simon.

  7. …actually otb, although petacchi was mentioned by several of us, nobody mentioned today’s results…ale-jet DID win the 1st stage, right ???…

    …& i agree about the tejas-ian…while you can’t change history, it would a’ been interesting if he hadn’t had that flat…el flaco was behind him at that point…

  8. OTB,
    Dude. The post is titled “Tour, day 3…” You cannot seriously expect us to believe you were blindsided by the content. You had notice. Clearly.

    And, while I’m at it, you think L. Armstrong would have put time into Contador and Schleck if he hadn’t flatted? How? Saxo was drilling it and they had the numbers. Contador had already come back to the Armstrong group, before Armstrong flatted. Contador looked great, and Vino an able lieutenant.

    Without the flat, Armstrong may not have lost as much time, or any time at all. But, he would not have gained time.

  9. lanceylancelancielancelancetlancelancey lancelotlanceypantlance, lance, oh, btw LANCE, mmmmmmmmm kisssy kisssy , smoochie smoochie, oh kisss.

  10. Thor is a block head. A ham fister. Full retard strength.

    With those sideburns, I’m thinking Vaughters could satisfy five men at once.

  11. Stage 3 was a treat to watch. Made my summer school kids chill while I watched a eurosport feed on the classroom computer. A couple of them even found it interesting.

    Lance finally had some bad luck. I still think he’s got a little left in the legs to put on a good showing… but that’s the thing, no one knows what’s up this year. Can Andy climb without his crutch brother? Was Wiggo a one shot wonder. Is Cadel (who no one mentioned) going to have any balls in July?

    The today’s stage was a flash back to earlier times… good tour so far.

  12. What about Geraint Thomas ? A better ride than Contador. And I hope once Cav gets his act together he takes a couple of stages away from Thor.

  13. …actually otb, although petacchi was mentioned by several of us, nobody mentioned today’s results…ale-jet DID win the 1st stage, right ???…

    Sorry, I must have misread this:

    “On another note, I am happy to see Ale-Jet winning stages. The first one, he got lucky. Today, he just straight up won.”

    I see “Day 3” and I assume that means Stage 3 (day 4)so I’m thinking it’s safe to read because I too have opinions about racing on cobbles so early in the tour. Then dude slips the spoiler in. lame

  14. …oops…my bad…

    …but at this point we’re all making excuses…

    …fuck it, i’m gonna get a few miles beneath my wheels…


  15. Red light, green light. The gong show rolls on. Wait one day and hammer the next only when it benifits you. Sounds like cycling to the core. One minute your at peace and the next your trying to bury someone. Get the shovel.

    Lesson learned. Race your bike or go work in the factory. I bet the Badger wouldnt have waited…..

  16. Those Schleck dudes give me the creeps too.
    As for sideburns. Grow them thicker. Dual squirrel tails.
    Is that how you spell squirrel? What the hell?

  17. Keep it uncool, man. Keep it uncool. Nice Tour so far AND GO RYDER!!!!!! Kid was a freakin’ bull.

  18. my mans flyin under the radar….has anyone EVEN noticed a 3 time grand tour winner currently sitting @ 1:49? WTF denis menchov…that’s my dark horse.

  19. Oh all the things I hear people say about a professional cyclist (hard man, rouluer, true climber, doper, liar, cheat, etc.), I don’t think I’ve heard a word like “creepy” bantered about.


    What a weird thing to say.

  20. Creepy. Something off-putting. Nothing to argue about really. It is just a feeling, gut reaction. They could be wonderful fellas in real life and probably are.

  21. I reckon young Tyler ain’t too comfy on the bike with a fractured wrist… too bad.