I’m not riding the beat, the beats riding me.

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Man, I get a lot of fucking stupid email.

From: Marlin
Subject: 1
Black market is online again !

1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET,
you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.
6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.
7. Also, as always, we offer widest range of child pornography and exclusive lolita
galleries, to keep out clients busy.

Everyone is welcome, be it in States or any other place worldwide.

ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prepay your batch of rockets (air-to-air) and recieve a portable rocket-lacuncher.

For security reasons, please email me if you want to get address of our online shop.

I need to stock up on that shit. Winter is just around the bend. And that means one thing: its time for indoor sports.

Check this one out: Zero Per Gallon.


Biking is fun. Biking is fast.
Biking is quiet. Biking is cool.
Biking is healthy. Biking is simple.
Biking costs less for us.
Biking costs less for our cities.
Biking costs less for the planet.
Go ride a bike. And spread the word.

I don’t think he’s counting all the fucking bon-bons I’m railing down my gullet… Dude. This kid I work with always brings in all this candy. Like bags of the shit. And I just keep eat’n it.

Someone told me, “You don’t have to eat it just because it’s there.”

Yeah right. And fuck that. If it’s there, I’m eating it.

Today’s link dump:

[doping] npr.org
[coolness] jacquiephelan.com
[‘roid contracting] talkingpointsmemo.com
[check it] phanboard.com
[PBR = good] creepyfriendly.typepad.com
[New York City Ate My Bicycle] streetsblog.org

I have to actually start riding my bike this weekend. Or, bikes as the case may be. I hate to call it “training”, but that is exactly what it is. God help me. I’ve got eight weeks to try and pull together some semblance of fitness. Come February 16th, I gotta ride the Old Pueblo.

I am so gonna die.

This morning’s silly video: Markus Stöckl blazing straight down a hill at 130.7 miles per hour.

That would be a new World Speed Record for “series mountain bikes”.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

14 Replies to “I’m not riding the beat, the beats riding me.”

  1. ;-) bulk email is just tooooooo fuckin eazy to send these days.
    spam bots suck!!!

    Ohh if anyone cares i rode in a low key snow storm in Clackamas
    hills in Ore-gon..

  2. Oregon snow ride +1. Pretty cool when it’s a novelty. Didn’t quite get her up to 130 though…

  3. …strap it to yer top tube, pick a really steep hill, watch yer shorts (literally), watch yer ass (not literally) n’ friggin’ go for it…

    …have fun…

  4. jonny you riding solo? 4 man’s are the shit? Solos are way to much prep/work. We won Seven Spring four man in a heated battle. But I was still able to have fun and didn’t hardly suffer much at all, even drank a beer or two after my laps. Duo and solo’s are a different ball game. Either way makes drinking one sunday that much more rewarding.

  5. I can use air to air but I don’t think my ultralight will be much of a weapons platform for that. Now air to ground, that’s a whole other story. That’s what this UL was designed for, ground attack w/paintballs. Now that was fun!


  6. OK, just noticed this on the list. Forget the weapons and shit … this is what we need right here !!!