Wear a helmet!

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I like to bust the balls of my co-workers about them not wearing helmets to work. One assclown (love ya, Malibu) brought his helmet in his backpack instead of on his head.

From: Wear a helmet!
Subject: Michael
Hey J-
Just wanted to pass along a tip to all readers. WEAR A FUCK’N HELMET!

Check out the pic…. On the SS the other day on the way home from work. Rolling along on a nice sunny day enjoying my ride when I cross over a wide speed bump and hear a huge “CRACK – SNAP” sound. Bars come out of my hand and the fall begins.. I spin sideways take a huge hit on my ass cheek, then the shoulder and proceed to pile drive the back of my head into the gravel on the side of the road.. Slide down the ditch upside down, and end up in someones front yard.

I am laying there (no kidding) laughing at how I wipe out on a speed bump, thinking to myself “what a moron”. I try to get the bike off me, but have a hard time. Finally get to my feet only to tumble to the ground. (2 times) I was completely out of it! Thankfully someone stopped and helped me get my bearings. Found my Oakley’s with both lenses gone. They are a BITCH to put in. One lens is on the road and the other one is about 40 feet away, it was a FUCK’N trip.

It all came back later that night, I hit a chunk of wood that was on the backside of the wide speed bump that must have slipped on my front wheel and that was the culprit!

Between feeling like someone kicked my ass, and having a decent headache as well as double vision, I think I will be ok..

The Doc said you can count your lucky stars. “If you didn’t have that helmet on, you would be enjoying dinner from a straw, Or more than likely DEAD”. (yeow..)


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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

12 Replies to “Wear a helmet!”

  1. I’ve even started wearing a helmet on my trainer, never know when one of my roommates is gonna decide to be a jackass and throw something my way!

  2. I’ve broken three helmets, which I guess means that the odds are I should be a lot more brain damaged than I all ready am. I’m just going to describe each instance because I think it’s cool that I can actually look back and laugh at this shit.

    first was a classic rainy day overcooked corner, touch the white line, slide to oblivion. Wrote off, 1 helmet, 1 glove, 1 jersey, 1 pair of glasses, 1 chro-mo chain stay, gained 2 cool pirate scars for my face.

    Second, learned why you shouldn’t bother sprinting out of corners when your four hours into a race that started at 9pm. Wheel washes out in the pine needles, head hits tree root. Rear mech through spokes, Met helmet in three bits, a head ache for the next twenty hours before I can stop riding and go to sleep.

    Third, chain snap, crotch meets top tube to somersault. Cracked head tube, broken thumb, written off right shifter, dead helmet, festy gash on left arm.

    Now I see a chiro monthly cause parts of spine have started to fuse and I started doing unintentional impersonation of Batman the neckless wonder. And for the record, I’m not as uncoordinated as my helmet record might suggest. I lasted five-years as a gun messenger without ever having lost time due to an accident on the job, I’ve finished 6 24hour races in solo class, with only one stack (described above) and I’ve only snapped one frame in my life (described above)

    aye, but doesn’t the wind feel good in your hair when you forget your helmet.

  3. Pingback: Ahh…oops, brain fart. « Lost on the Floor

  4. I am alive and not eating from a tube because of a Helmet. Word.
    When I recovered I sent the Helmet to Giro for what I thought was a crash replacement policy, They offered me 10% off retail which was more than the local shop was selling them for. I did make a point to send it to them with the chunk of scalp and hair still in it which might have pissed them off. But big props to the technology today. That fly weight helmet was in a few pieces but the shock was distributed through most of the helmet. Rather than dead I settle for wandering the parking lot looking for my car at walmart every so often

  5. you know I see jonny road guy (no pun) often spinning with out a helmet or the helmet hung on his brakelevers thinking he is cool like 14 mph mellon to the pavement won’t hurt. fucking insane
    although in the 80’s I rode many a day with out one. a doc once told me that all it takes to die is for your head to fall from where it sits when standing. 5 feet to the ground. Drop a mellon from 5 feet and see what happens

    glad you are well

    like my grandaddy said. wear a helmet before you stick it in her ass or something like that

  6. “lindsay on November 6th, 2007 12:25 pm

    or you know, you can keep your eyes peeled for huge planks of wood in the road.”

    Ha ha ha ha.. Good one..
    Try to see that fuck’n “plank” (1″ x 4″) when your roll’n over a speed table @ 20mph… Good luck.. Tell me where your eyes go when you go over one? Duh! Up and out is the natural view..

    Lindsay may have hamburger for brains by this time next year… It’s called “karma”, and it can be a bitch!

    Hey Lindsay– Wear a helmet DUMB FUCK!

    Or are you one like one of those “cool” Harley riders who thinks they look “cool” without a helmet?

    Open your eyes, never know when a huge plank may creep up on you..????