About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

26 Replies to “The Cougar Habitat”

  1. Can you make into a T-Shirt????
    Make it in blaze / DC orange for the Cougar hunting trips.

  2. Urbanseeds,
    We’re actually commonly referred to as “Carps”.
    The bottom feeders of the bar scene.

  3. LOL…I used to live there Mike…not in Cougartown thankfully!! Wonder what marketing god thought that up?

  4. Even funnier now that one of my calleagues has a ‘sugar momma’. Sometimes he comes in looking like he was actually mauled by a real cougar.

  5. Wrong wrong wrong…..

    1. Make yourself appear small and defenceless.
    2. Turn your back.
    3. Limp away slowly.
    4. Chew your arm off in the morning before you sober up and make your getaway.

  6. …jeez, here i saw myself as an “experienced, knowledgeable” gentleman…turns out i’m just an old carp…

    …all in the perspective, i guess…

  7. I was stalked last year. I had drunk too much to make an effective getaway. I found myself trapped. I did what needed to be done.

  8. A friend was cougar-hunting this past weekend. We asked him about it the next day…he said he ate it before he shot at it..and it tasted like Depends.

  9. here in Orange County we are 1-1 in mountain lion attacks on Mountain Bikers. One sad death and one disfiguring survival.

    Shit is real indeed

  10. RIP Mark Reynolds. Mad cyclist good climber and a credit to the industry

    We miss you man

    MISSION VIEJO, Calif. (AP) — Initial tests conducted on a male mountain lion suspected of killing one biker and injuring another revealed human skin tissues found in its stomach, authorities said.

    Mark Reynolds, in an undated photo, has been killed by a mountain lion, an animal found in the western U.S.
    AP and Getty file photos

    Footprints taken in Whiting Ranch Wilderness Park in Orange County had the same measurements and officials are fairly certain the cougar is responsible for both of Thursday’s attacks. The 2-year-old mountain lion weighed about 110 pounds and was shot and killed Thursday night after it returned to the site where the body of a biker was found.

    A second mountain lion was struck and killed by a vehicle Thursday night, about five miles south of the wilderness park, but the animal was not believed to be involved in the attacks. The female cat, which weighed about 80 pounds, also will undergo a necropsy.

    Meanwhile, the bikers who helped rescue biker Anne Hjelle recounted the frightening scene.

    Hjelle was bicycling along a wilderness trail when a mountain lion sprang from the brush, pounced on her back and dragged her off by the head as fellow bikers threw rocks at the animal and tried to pull her away.

    The animal finally ran off, leaving Hjelle — a former Marine who works as a fitness instructor — bloody and near death.

    Early Sunday, CNN reported that Hjelle, 30, was in fair condition at a hospital.

    “I just told her, ‘I’m never letting go,'” said rescuer Debbie Nichols, who held on to her friend during a desperate tug-of-war with the cat.

    Authorities suspect the same mountain lion also killed 35-year-old Mark Jeffrey Reynolds, whose body was found partially buried Thursday near his disabled bike. He apparently had been killed earlier in the day.

    “The chains fell off and somehow broke, and while he was attempting to fix his bike is when the attack happened,” said Jim Amormino, a spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.

    The two attacks occurred just a few hundred yards from homes and served as a gruesome reminder of the danger that exists when suburban sprawl encroaches on the wilderness.

    Reynolds was an account executive at a sports management firm. The amateur mountain bike racer had won championships in his age category.

    Rod Veal, AP
    Mike Castellano, left, and Diego Lopez helped scare away the animal that was mauling a cyclist.

    Dona Reynolds said her son had helped donate free bikes to kids as Christmas gifts.

    “My (consolation) is Mark Reynolds was doing what he loved the most, and that was riding his bicycle,” she said.

    Jacke Van Woerkom, a founder of the biking group Trail Angels, said she was riding about seven minutes behind Hjelle and Nichols and later spoke to Nichols at the hospital.

    “She had some blood on her face. She definitely showed signs of a major struggle,” Van Woerkom said.

    The biking group often rides the trails to unwind. The attack won’t prevent them from cycling again, Van Woerkom said.

    “You can’t let something like this take residence in your mind and stop you,” she said.

    Lynn Sadler, executive director of the Mountain Lion Foundation, a nonprofit group dedicated to saving America’s lions, said the attack occurred in a wilderness area designated as a wildlife habitat.

    “As long as mountain lions walk this earth, there is going to be some risk from them,” she said. “It’s not an amusement park — the shark doesn’t pull back at the last second. The risks are real, even as they are part of the appeal.”

    The attacks, which were considered separate incidents, raised to 14 the total number of mountain lion attacks on humans in California over the past 114 years, six of them fatal, said Doug Updike, a biologist with the state Fish and Game Department.

    Updike estimates there are between 4,000 and 6,000 adult lions roaming California, with usually five to seven mountain lions per 100 square miles. State law prohibits hunting or killing them.

  11. “Dona Reynolds said her son had helped donate free bikes to kids as Christmas gifts. ”

    Dude I will rest on the bench atop Whiting again in your memory


  12. I was recently mauled by a couger. yeah taken back to the den. this 50 year old had all the makings of a coug. 110 smokes(for the longer break at work.) she is a hair stylest at super cuts.
    she has a roommate that is 54. I noticed that there was like 8 lbs of ground beef on the kitchen counter. I asked if they were preparing for a bque. She looked at me like I wAs stupid and told me that the more you buy the cheaper it can be. (fuck cougs are economical and love beef, befforoni, mac and beef..etc.. well anyway this was all at 3 am. I went up into the bedroom and the 50 year couger fucked the shit out of me. I couldn,t take it anymore. she smelled. just winstons and LITs coming out her pours. “whats the matter? you not hard anymore?” she said.
    i ‘ve been studying cougers for years. One thing: they pay to play. they also stalk lions.
    how much do cougers love scented candles?

  13. …don’t worry, scruggs…the human mind is an amazing thing…it allows us to remember the best aspects of our experiences, but the horror & degradation are soon forgotten…
    …drink two beers & call me in the morning…

  14. human mind amazing i am smart and funny got bit by a cat had 9 lives rode a bike sucked a dick indeed