I shit my brains out and smoked a ton of bowls to get this issue figured out. At first I was gonna point my finger at one particular part of cycling as the root problem. But lucky me, I tapped into my local Yoda Copas Master last night and the dome light got extra bright.
So what did I do? Drank two beers from the Master and went home to tell my bike how much I love it. I even told it good night, shut the lights out in the garage and then fuck, I had to turn them back on to take one more gander at her. Why so excited? Bikes fucking rule. It’s a deep down skull fucking love. So when nasty shit gets involved with my love, I am gonna go find who’s fucking it up- I found ‘em and it’s a big nasty tough crew that can suck my balls in massive sets of reps. Since you fucks already like doing things in repetition so damn much with mirrors all around you so you can look at your gross sweaty veiny ass. You know who the fuck you are! It’s all you dudes and gals that have to go to the gym, cross fit, yoga, triathlons, rollerblade and what ever else you do behind closed doors to get that extra edge. What edge are you exactly looking for? The only edge I want is to shred trail and be fucking stoked about it. If you wanna get fast on a bike, ride it a lot, it’s that simple. No, running barefoot doesn’t help get the edge- neither does the 5 toed shoes unless you are rafting or doing fetish porn. Just get on your fucking bike and pedal that fucker. Those who are staying in one place are just silly. Working out, running on treadmills, stationary bikes, jumping rope, all that leg squatting thrusting action department store stuff- it’s still not shredding on you bike. So for this year, less practicing for something you love and occupy your bike seat!by