Andrei Tchmil

Andrei Tchmil was a baller. Straight baller. I could have selected a photo of him from 1994 Roubaix, covered in mud, dealing out the hurt. But, I went with this one from the 2000 Tour of Flanders instead. I remember when he took this win – it was huge. He held them off. He held them all off.

Go ahead, ask youself: What would Tchmil do?

He’d put it straight in the gutter and he’d fucking rail it. That’s what Tchmil would do. He is a man of iron.



Look at that face. You think he wants it? You’re god damn right he wants it. No wonder he complains about Filippo Pozzato being soft. That fucking jerk-off with his fucking jerk-off mustache and fucking jerk-off back tattoo looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore. Tchmil is trying to hire on Mario Cipollini to take out the slack over at Katusha. We’ll see how that works out.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

27 thoughts on “Andrei Tchmil

  1. A face shaped by countless days of windswept roads, frigid rain, and taking scalps over cow shit covered roads… A breakfast bowl of nails is too soft for that guy.

  2. Rev, it just takes time. I’ve been putting together a few ideas for “straight baller” posts, and believe me, his name has come up. Dude was a baller!

  3. I often ask as a back up question “What would Tschmil do?” I lived in Moldova from 97-99. I would often see a group of hard faced kids hammering away on their Iranian made velocipeds. What made them tougher were the roads they road on, made the pave look like a cake walk. Now throw in some dogs chasing them and drunks stumbling around, you had some real sprints!!! He became the minister of sports for Republica Moldova. Ce face Andrea? Thanks for posting something about this hard man. The Lord appreciates. John 3:12

  4. It’s amazing how deep in the cave you can go when you’re doped to the gills. You may see titanium testes, I see a dog in a hat. Just sayin, but you know I’m right. I’ll still tip a pint and say ‘good on ya maite’ for not getting caught.

  5. I’ve made plenty of sport out of Cipo over the years. And you know what, I miss that guy. He was completely over the top. He was outrageous. I miss that. Look for him in a Straight Baller post soon.

  6. @bp— i was the same way with cipo until he wore that Aqua e Sapone zebra-stripe skinsuit to a Giro TT. Nothing to do but stand up and salute that shit.

  7. Mikey, Sean Kelly is still balling I might add. At one of the sportives here in Ireland, the Wicklow 200, Mr. Kelly’s group has rumbled past me like a freight train a few times. Getting dropped was nearly an honor.