I went to Goldsprints tonight. Not a scene I normally hang out in, but my friend Kelon does, and he talked me into going.

The first two rounds I raced dudes. And lost.

goldsprints jan 006

Then for the 3rd round, I raced a girl. It just so happened to be a girl named Cooper I raced CX with last season (her 1st season she raced 15 cx races compared to my suck ass 5 races).

We shook hands and looked at the computer. 4,3,2,1 and we’re supposed to GO! at 0. My friend Kelon says she started at 1. She had a head start.

goldsprints jan 011

She won by like .3 of a second. I am salty.

This chick dropped out. She was puking in the bathroom, drunk.

goldsprints jan 005

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About Judi

Bicycles are my salvation. They are my way of life. If you don't like it, then you can go straight to hell. Cincinnati, Ohio, USA

26 thoughts on “Goldsprints

  1. I was going to say something about silly hipster scene, but you beat me to it. Why can’t they have normal bars on their bikes, so you can at least get some torque down. Stupid bull horn bars.

  2. Why not full rollers? I mean, make it a skill you know? sKILL!

    No wait. I raced the girls once. Nearly had a coronary bypass right there on stage.

    Never again.

  3. i am still fucking salty about that bitch starting at 1 instead of 0. she clearly had a headstart and the dudes who were running the laptops didn’t start the race over like they did with the guys who tried to pull that shit.

    and don’t get me started on the hipster scene. i stopped hanging out years ago.

  4. All you shit talkers need to get on those machines and try before you poo poo the hipster scene. Roller races have been around long before any of you turned your first pedal and turned up your first nose. Those hipsters are keeping it alive.

    What kind of assholes can bag on a bunch of people drink beer and racing for fun?

  5. What? Now we have to apply a graded scale to assholes? Sweet. Nice assholes and then asshole assholes, and then mean assholes and don’t forget the flaming assholes lest they start flaming it up like a penis with 6 pounds of injected silicon in it.

    Wait, I digress. I forgot to mention the funny assholes. Those are the ones that can joke it up on the hipsters and expect the worldly sensibilities of Mericans to have a little skin for the tuff abrasions of words. mean words.

    I still have to figure out what the point of a hipster is if it’s not for the pure entertainment value of be made fun of. I mean, I’ve seen more sincerity from a flock of seagulls man.

    serrous. Fareelz. Put your touchy feely back into your inner asshole and move along. There’s nothing to cry about here. The hipsters got the goods!

    Pussy like sensitivity therapy down the hall. Room 103.

    Shit hell. Like a stink ass weakling.

  6. I’m all for whatever gets ya turnin’ a crank. If spin class does it for ya, go nuts. Me, I’d rather layer up and ride the studded tires on the Monocog. But if we ever get another three feet of snow like we did in ’96, the wife’s Schwinn Airdyne will probably start looking good. That or a bullet.

    Redrum. REDRUM!


    *Not to be confused with Jonny.

  7. And Miss Judi, don’t worry overmuch aboot it, eh. I know you’da kicked her sorry ass if you’d both been on real bikes.

  8. +1 for puking in the bathroom instead of on the bike. Although a well-timed photo of the latter might have won that girl interweb famosity.

  9. I represent the Fat and the Elk’s Lodge (#499), I also raced a fixed gear on the velodrome, still own a pair of vintage Alfredo Bindas toe straps still in the wax paper sleeve and applaud the hipster trend for all that it’s worth to bikes and biking.

  10. I talked with a hipster just the other day who had a nice Chiocc in one hand, and a polished & orange fixie in the other.

    I asked if he knew anything about Merckx.

    He said “Who?”

    The hipster trend is therefore not worth very much to bikes nor itself. It’s a trend. That’s the point. But your right, at least they give bicycles visibility in society.

  11. wine dog – much respect lady. :)

    as far as hipsters go- i don’t know. i don’t think it’s trend. i mean, back in the day, i had blue and purple hair and rode a MTB around SF. i had a zoe bag, hung out at zeitgeist, rode drunk. these days, they just ride cooler bikes.

  12. The wave will recede… They always do. I remember anodized mtb parts. I never had many, as they cost money. And, since I worked in a bike shop, money is something I did not have. So, silver or black for me, thanks.

    Merckx? Is he a NY Messenger? Can he skid? Shit. No excuse in the internet age not to be aware of the giants in the sport.