I need a joke…

this one fit the bill.

If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:

$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual

$37.50 if you bought Neomagic

$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac

$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND… You would have $… 214.00 in cash.

So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg Plan

All hail the mighty suds. Youse guys are welcome to visit if Mc-jackoff-Keating-scandal-douchenozzle wins. At least beer is cheaper than water here.

—bp

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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

11 thoughts on “I need a joke…

  1. …if anything will make ya cry in yer beer or maybe just laugh yer ass off, that’s gotta be it…

    …funny stuff, either way & sometimes the truth hurts…

  2. Why does the math not work for me ??

    If this was valid, I’d quit my job and spend all day dumpster diving for cans.

    And yea…..I’m having a shitty day and my sense of humor is officially turned off till I get home and make a few investments of my own.

  3. LOL, no hatin’ Gnomey, just want to give my fellow scrappers the heads up that they may want to let those cans sit a few months.

    Always aim to get the best ROI. ;)

  4. The newest aluminum cans equate to 32 cans per pound. At the high “price per pound” range of AL in June of 2008, it went for $.70 per pound. A case of (industrial swill) Miller Lite costs $14.00. That means I could buy (about) 71.5 cases of beer. This equates to 1716 aluminum cans equaling 53.625 pounds of aluminum. Therefore my total amount of recycled aluminum would have a value of $37.54.

  5. #2 If you bought 71.5 cases in a year and drank it all, that would equal 1.375 cases of beer drank per week or 33, 12 oz. beers per week. Thirty three beers per week equates to 4.7 cans of beer a day.

    #3 Since you don’t drink at work, you decide to drink these on your way home from work, keeping them iced in a cooler stored in your car. The police pull you over for crossing the median and missing a complete stop at a stop sign. After you breathe on the officer and he (she) witnesses your growing aluminum can collection in the back seat, you are arrested for suspicion of DUI. At the police station you blow into the breathalyzer and it reads .12, legally drunk. Your lawyer bill is $5000.00. Your fine is $5000.00.
    That is day 1 of your plan to drink your way to prosperity, 364 days to go.

  6. 4 beers a day even if you don’t start till 6pm is pretty fucking lightweight

    12 beers a night is pretty easy too… esp if they High Life, PBR… ya know, good drink a case and feel fine in the morning but still get wicked drunk beer…

    4 chimays, now that would be retarded.

    Starting with 1 chimay followed by 6-10 regular beers would be fine…

    ‘course being big jonny or gewilli or _____ size certainly makes consuming that much pretty easy