I’m standing around,
killing the grass.
A guy walks in the bike shop.
I ask him how’s it going
or some shit,
if he needs help finding anything.

He is here to see the pumps.

I walk with him
and I show him the display.
There are two choices:
These are the small pumps,
that you can take with you when you ride.
These are floor pumps,
that push a greater volume of air,
for the house.

“No, she doesn’t want something she can take with her.
And we already have a floor pump.”

I stood and looked at him.
He was still looking at the pumps,
back and forth
floor pumps in the left
frame pumps on the right.

He turned to me.
I said, “Let me know if you have any more questions”
and then
after he stood there
and stared at me
as if I was speaking in Dutch
I walked away.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 thoughts on “Pump

  1. Hell, I think he was in Reno yesterday asking the same damn thing. ‘Cept he looked up at the frame pumps and down to the floor pumps.

  2. Jonny-

    You need to learn to recognize a suave and subtle homosexual come-on when one hits you over the head. “Pump” is a euphemism for… oh, never mind.



  3. Next time ask him to describe, in great detail, what he wants and make sure to get it on video, then post it on YouTube so he can be properly mocked and abused.