my personal opinion on why electric bikes are good and why they are fucking stupid.

Sorry Aaron Chase, for real.  Sorry.  You just gatta understand how silly you look “ripping it up” on that moped.

For real.  Can we please be honest for once, just this once…please?

It’s a fucking moped.

If you are going to use a motor, how about actually using a motor?

As far as I am concerned, ebikes are very good for a large portion of people in this country that want to explore what cycling has to offer, and those people are overweight, disabled, geriatric, or trying to find the same joy in cycling that they see in the smiles of their loved ones.  I say this because this country is rife with slow moving, never getting outside, lazy, locked to an LCD screen, unhealthy lot of soft, doughy adults who should know better than to eat shitty food and never exercise.  Ego and self importance to big to believe me?  Click the link.  Or if reading is not your strong point, maybe pictures will help supplement your useless education.

As far as a viable means of green transportation… fuck you.  For real, Fuck You.  I mean it.  FUCK. YOU.

Ebikes are powered by rechargeable batteries that utilize electricity.  Where does this electricity comes from?  That’s a good question, and one most people don’t even think about… especially those self-righteous Prius driving Tesla masturbaters.  Over 60% comes from Natural Gas and Coal – which is like super clean and great for the environment; the next almost 20% is from nuclear.  Suck on that green shit for a minute you cute little baby seal cuddler.  Now, we won’t even talk about lithium batteries, I don’t have time to even begin on that one.  But I suggest you put some effort into it, might make you rethink keeping your cell phone next to your genitals all day.

Next comes the “ebikes are all over Europe.”  The US is not Europe, at all, by any stretch of the imagination.  So please, shut the fuck up.  there is a very big difference.

Do I think there is any good application for ebikes?  Yes.

  • People like my father, 68 years old and crazier than me.  He has had his shoulder rebuilt twice, is on the way to a couple new knees, and his hips are likely not to far behind.  His physical issues that came from decades of doing crazy shit keeps him from even trying.  He would benefit from an ebike because he is physically unable to ride one single mile, and an ebike would allow him the opportunity to get out more and begin down a new path of healthier living.
  • People who want to ride with their family are also good candidates.  I recently helped a grandmother with her ebike, which she used to ride with her daughter and grand kids.  The motor assist helped her focus on the joy and happiness of being with her family, as apposed to the struggle of trying to keep up with sugar infused children.
  • Disabled people are also perfect candidates for ebikes.  People with physical disabilities that keep them from being able to pedal a bike efficiently and/or correctly can truly win with an ebike.  An obese person can start down a path of healthier living by utilizing an ebike to get started.  It gets them outside and away from having to deal with any stigmas, as well as the complete assholes, that permeate the gyms in this country.
  • There are so many more opportunities for ebikes that actually make sense, yet the industry has other ideas, a different path, and people are lining up to suck down the kool aid like mother’s milk – which I personally think it is fucking stupid.   I can not even begin to imagine how great it would be to go for a bicycle ride with my father on his local greenway without him worrying about keeping up, or even being able to ride at all.  How wonderful it could be to see the cycling industry partner with health organizations to help make ebikes more affordable to obese people seeking a healthier future.  How great would it be for bike rental companies to offer ebikes (which some do) so people can actually travel around cities to truly enjoy the place as apposed to being locked behind glass and hermetically sealed.

And you, my dear reader, do you really want to help make cycling more popular, get more people outdoors so they can appreciate the earth and nature in a relaxing, healthy way… the way you do?  It is all up to us to shove our middle finger in the face of these industry giants who are pushing dumbed down and benign motorcycles to flat brimmed knuckle draggers in an effort to just make fucking money.

So… again, sorry Aaron Chase.  I mean it, I really do.  I have been a fan of your riding and the positive way you bring cycling into our world for a very long time, and I hate the fact that I find myself with you in the crosshairs as the example of everything that is wrong with ebikes.  But sometimes we have to look at what our heroes are doing, and then we have to care enough to call them out on it.

I mean seriously, everyone makes mistakes.

 

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About Danimal

it's all bullshit, all of it. thesefuckingsoftpeoplewalkingaroundwiththeirheadsupthereassesnotlookingaroundtoseetheworldorenjoynatureorthecompanyofanotherhumanwiththeirselfentitledknowitallcantmakeamistakeeverybodygetsatrophypussyassattitudeandmindsetarethefuckingproblemwiththisworldandtheonlythingthatwillfixitisactualhardshipnothismanufacturedhardshiplikecrossfitorspartanraceoranyotherbullshitpansyasswannabeadventurecrapnopethesepeoplearepussiescompletepussieswitheverythinghandedtothemimmediatelynoempathynocompassionnoPASSIONnoloveforanythingotherthanselfimportanceandsuperficialhierarchythatisselfimposedinordertomakethemfeelworthwhilewhenalltheyareisatickorleechonsocietyafuckingcowheadedtotheslsughterwithnocluetheassholefeedingthemwillsoonbeslittingtheirthroatandchewingontheirgrilledassinaveryshortamountoftimesmilingwithnocareintheworldthattheywereneveranythingbutfodder.

17 thoughts on “my personal opinion on why electric bikes are good and why they are fucking stupid.

  1. It is rare I agree 100% with any article. But this completely sums up my feelings about e-bikes. They are perfect in so many scenarios, but total BS in the rest.

  2. Well said. It shouldn’t be another marketing thing to get cyclists another bike. Spot on about partnering with the health industry. Hopefully someone here can send this information along to powers that be.

  3. Agreed, 100%. My local eBike manufacture (#openmolder) humble brags out of one side of their mouth about how their 39# eBike wheelies out of the turns on our local MTB trails, and from the other side of their mouth says it’s about making a bike that addresses the handicaps of those who are left out.

  4. With regard to eMTBs, it’s a guaranDANGteed trail access issue. Relations with other trail users are strained enough as it is with meatheads interacting rudely/speedily with hikers and horses, and while that scenario is not as prevalent as these folks would have it, it IS happening. Adding power to the mix is going to push it over the edge and get (all) bikes banned from many areas.

    Commuters? On ROADS and NOT multi-use paths? Whatever.

  5. lol – DC goes full on autism whenever e-bikes are mentioned. There’s always going to be things in life that other people like, but you do not. No need to ‘sperg the fuck out over a battery on a bike.

  6. Agreed with the article on all points! Why will eBikes become popular in America? Because we as a country majority are lazy and obese. The American spending trend will be to buy the easier fix and magic pill…or a bike that is easier to pedal and more hurtful to the environment than conventional bikes. What also is sad about eBike is it takes away from the purity and simplicity of what the non-motorized bicycle has stood for since invented over 175 years ago

  7. “It is all up to us to shove our middle finger in the face of these industry giants who are pushing dumbed down and benign motorcycles to flat brimmed knuckle draggers in an effort to just make fucking money.”

    Right on

  8. You have summed up pretty much what we all feel about eBikes.
    Those who claim to be “handicapped” by their own self-imposed obesity can politely go fuck themselves ( and stay off the trails with their eBikes).
    Just FYI the wave of obesity around the world is not caused by a lack of exercise, but by excessive carbohydrate intake. And exercise (or pretending to exercise on an eBike) won’t change that.

  9. Just returned from the 2017 https://cyclechallenge.com/live/

    This year they decided to include an E Bike catagory & one of the local power firms offered customers a chance to ride one of their E Bikes in the last 40 Kms section.

    Taupo Cycle challenge is an 160 km ride around Lake Taupo, the last 40 Kms includes a hill called Hapete hill, 3.4 kms with a rise of 131metres.

    I was cranking up it when the E Bikers went past & the abuse thrown at them from all the cyclists was incredible.

    Unfortunately, It’s a two edged sword, due to the popularity of E Bikes, suddenly Auckland is spending up large on cycling infrastructure.

  10. Perfectly said. You’ve noted some unbiased thing about Electric Bikes. if someone does cycling for health issues then they should avoid E-bikes.
    Keep up writing great article like this. Really appreciated.

  11. Dan, good write up, maybe you can convince the rest of the Drunkcyclist propaganda machine (*cough 40 hands & dirty cough *) to get behind solid arguments and differentiate hate movements from an obviously positive sector of the industry that can bring benefits to us all. United we stand, divided we fall.

  12. Damn… you nailed it with this article! . . . and who knew Aaron Chase could be such a douchebag.

  13. Pingback: IMBA Changes Policy to Support E-Bikes on Non-Motorized Trails – Global Sales Guys | Word On The Street Blog

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