Hey, listen –
Most folks know that when you ask someone for something, you have to give them something in return. It’s pretty fucking basic. Maybe it has to do in some way with the 3rd law of physics. I know, gutter punks think that because they eat from the dumpster, they don’t have to pay for any other shit, but bro — how many day-old bagels did Hot Topic make you give them when you bought those Edward Scissorpants?
Whatever. You want something? Me too. Don’t get me wrong – I’m really fortunate that people like and sometimes want to have some of my shit – but i can’t send my landlord a fucking drawing and just expect shit to be cool.
Here you go.
Chapel Hill. Hip-Hop show. Reservoir Bar.
December 27th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I had to look up wat the 3rd law was/is. then I made it into another broken haiku:
It all makes sense now.
the problem is capital.
and now you owe me.
Yes!
December 27th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“Edward Scissorpants”
I was laughing so hard at that bit, i think I pee’d a bit in my shorts.
December 27th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
el gnome give it up
haiku simple and precise
first you learn to count
December 27th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
dave gnome battle rage
who will win this fetid war
rules meant to be broken
December 27th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
They had fair warning,
those smug flamingo bastards.
Who is laughing now?
He went through the lot of ‘em like a lawn mower. A fucking lawn mower! Every night when I close my eyes, all I see is their tiny pink bodies being ripped to pieces. Over and over again! And their screams. Their fucking screams!
How’s that for a waiting-for-dinner quicky?
December 27th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
i do not fear gnome
his magic is small and weak
i’d still ride with him
December 28th, 2008 at 7:07 am
secretly wanting,
dave suppresses the feelings
but still keeps flirting.
his yearning for gnome
just can not be extiguished.
burning flame. so queer.
December 28th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Sing though me, goddess,
the sweet wrath of the gnome,
son of cycling.
The Gnome was once a
category one state champ.
Have you forgotten?
The guy could pound it,
for hours in the saddle.
And you call him short.
You should fear the gnome.
He will half-wheel you straight
to the gates of hell.
Bewildering fat,
and lungs rattling with fire,
I sip my coffee.
December 28th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
snake hawk still fighting
latency of seventh grade
so embarassing
December 28th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
…a cold nasty day..
…a mouthful of fleeting insults…
…where is the sunshine ???…
December 28th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
…gnomer in sidis…
…proudly wears the setting sun…
…rides a fiery glory…
December 28th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
…fly like the eagles…
…cowboy guns can’t touch you w/…
…romo on his knees…
December 28th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
…there once was a mouth from marin…
…whose ellipsitical use was a sin…
…he dotted the page…
…in grammatical rage…
…despite content considerably thin…
…(ok, i’m gonna stop now)…
December 28th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
dave and snakehawk hug
gay and writhing in the sun,
latency vanished.
December 28th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
public readers puke
their acid bile out the nose
stand back im gonna–
December 29th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
snakehawk, so sorry
your interest is flattering
but you’re not my type