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Tonight, right off the top, I'd like to say this to all the men and
women, boys and girls, site fans of all ages who have been writing in
with upcoming events, great stories, rants, and the rest of it: I'm
getting too much email to post it all on the site. Please direct some
of your creative efforts toward the message
board where you can post to your little hearts desire.
Maybe then I can feel a little less guilty about the 105 odd remaining unread emails and actually go to bed at some point tonight.
While I'm sucking my own dick and talking up my own site, don't forget to check
out the DC
video store. I'm not looking to get rich here, just wet my beak
a little. Tom Boonen is on fire
down in Qatar. Of course, dusting off the likes of Grillo and Zabel
in January isn't exactly winning a Classic (or two), but I hope this
speaks well of his creeping form for a successful spring campaign.
The man is a winner.
Speaking of winners: Ailto is in like Flynn. My worst fears realized.
Bush gets two conservatives on the Supreme Court. It's an addition of
only one vote, not two, in all actuality. Roberts is a straight substitution
for Rehnquist in every conceivable fashion. It's the addition of Alito
that pushed the Court to the right as he replaces a far more moderate
jurist in O'Conner.
Ah, dark days loom ahead. Most of American has no idea what just happened. But I do. This, I felt, was the strongest reason to vote for a Democrat during the last Presidential election. This, I felt, was the big picture.
Now we're stuck with two very scary young (relatively speaking) appointments
that will influence the Court, and the country, for years to come. And
that's why I call them young. Their influence will be felt for what,
the next 30 years?
It's too much to bare. Couple that with the upcoming State of the Union
speech and my path of sanity is through several beers. And I mean several.
The only thing I can see happening what will give me any solace is
these conservative beasts will eventually turn on and discard those
that sent them there. It's inevitable. The anti-crowd will soon realize
overturning Roe v. Wade (the centerpiece of this grant plot) will only
kick it down to the States. And outlawing abortion across the country
will become the new goal (like it isn't already). One much loftier and
hard-pressed. One the anti-crowd cannot attain.
It will be an issue left to the States to decide. And decide they will.
Some allowing, some disallowing, just like in the days before Roe. And
the rich white daughters of rich white men who stood against this so-called
evil will still get their abortions. It is the poor and the forgotten
who will suffer its illegality. And therefore the ban on abortion will
be a practice of discrimination based on social class and privilege.
A grand sort of discrimination against those that cannot get on a plane
for an out-patient procedure and those that can.
And abortions will still occur in this country, non with standing any
conservative appointments to the Court. What will the Massive Right
Wing Bloc do once they loose their great rallying point? They will fracture
into a million little pieces, the more centrist becoming (finally) appalled
by the antics of those far right field hate mongers, bombers and murders.
The likes of Falwell and Robertson will become castrated in this new
age, this post abortion debate epoch, when their usefulness is devalued
by the functional obsolesces of their message.
And we will still put men to death in this country. And we will still start wars. And those of false piety will be reveled for what they truly are: self serving opportunists.
And I will watch, as I always do. And wait. And wonder. And question.
And knock back several beers and stab and the keyboard in drunken crescendos
of barely decipherable rage.
My mind wanders. Should the States decide whether to abort their unborn
as they decide to execute their condemned?
How does one square one against the other?
My ultra-right wing sister-in law has no problem with calling abortion
murder and capital punishment appropriate. She also has no quarter with
killing anyone in the Middle East we can't convert to Christianity.
Because, you know, it gives her life purpose.
I'm looking for that same purpose at the bottom of beer cans and summits
of single track climbs.
[gino] oneononebike.com
[god] talkingpointsmemo.com/grandolddocket.php
[hotties] islandtri.com/cyclepassion.htm
[cool] wired.com/news/technology/0,70026-0.html?tw=wn_tophead_18
[blog] riverrant.blogspot.com/
[jonny fucking cash] singingfool.com/player.asp
Ah fuck it. Caught the State of the Union address tonight. More like
endured. I'll leave the commentary to the million other more capable
men and women of the media, news, web, blogosphere, whatever you call
it. (example: here) For I am a humble drunkard cycling enthusiast alone. That, and I
pretty much blew my nut with that drivel above.
I just jacked this abbreviated version of Bush's speech from over here. Enjoy!
We will choose to build our prosperity by leading the world economy.The
only way to control our destiny is by our leadership – so the United
States of America will continue to lead.The only alternative to American
leadership is a dramatically more dangerous and anxious world. Together,
let us lead this world toward freedom. We will build the prosperity
of our country by strengthening our economic leadership in the world.
We must continue to lead the world in human talent and creativity. America
will lead the world in opportunity and innovation for decades to come.
Fellow citizens, we have been called to leadership in a period of consequence.
We will lead freedom’s advance.
One more and I'm out.
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From: Sessa
Subject: katrina cottages
dudes, check out these sites. interesting possibilities. nice to
see an option to the fema trailers. they are far more attractive
than said trailers and can be permanent units of their own accord,
or serve as a base for later additions.
cusatocottages.com/index_content.html
mississippirenewal.com
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Cross
Worlds and Nys crash.
Ullrich tipped
to win Tour.
Did you see the one where the guy attacks the female courier? Read
and weep at at:
spacing.ca/wire/?p=491
citynoise.org/article/2770
totallycrap.com/media/motoristvscourier
Insane. I love the rage in that guys eyes. He's blind. Just gone. Oh,
so fun.
The only thing I have to comment on is that Leah should have taken
one for the team and took the "scratch" charge. Here's what she said:
"the police informed me that if I went ahead and placed those charges
then they would have to charge me with mischeif for the scratch."
Big deal. Take the scratch and get that asshole for "assault with a
weapon x2, mischief x2, aggravated assault". Seems like an decent trade
to me. And, you get that mark on his permanent record. If he fucks up
again, (yeah, if, I meant to say "when") he'll have it on
record he beats up chicks.
In domestic news, the North
American Handmade Bicycle Show is coming. And soon at that, the
3rd through the 5th of March in San Jose, California.
I've meet the man behind the project, Don Walker of Don
Walker Cycles, while out in Vegas this year at Interbyke. We've
also knocked emails back and forth for a few years now. He's a good
guy and I like where he's going with things. The following is what will
go down in history as Drunkcyclist's first attempt at an interview.
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Q: So, what made you start the event?
Devine intervention? Saw a niche?
I started the show because I felt a need for framebuilders to
have their own show. Years ago, if you went to Interbike, you would
walk around and see a framebuilders booth and it was swarmed with
people. Framebuilders were like the rock stars of the bicycle industry.
Everyone would come by and see the latest in the builders' booths.
Many of the larger companies would take pics of what the builders
were doing and implement those developments into their next years
product lines. As time went by, fewer and fewer builders could afford
the mighty cost of exhibiting at Interbike. I am trying to give
the builders the same outlet of exhibiting without the mega cost
of Interbike.
Q: What does the show do exactly? Define its purpose and goals
for my drunken audience.
The show allows the "little guys" of the bicycle industry
to get some well needed (and deserved) publicity. It allows consumers
to spend time asking questions of the exhibitors as well. My mission
is to educate the masses about the artisans of the bicycle world,
a lot of folks don't even know we exist and its time to change
that. I also want folks to see there is an option to buying a
bike off the rack. You can get to know the person that makes the
bike and even supply them with your input on options and things
you want from the build. Another thing we offer is a chance to
listen and gain valuable knowledge from some of the foremost experts
in the field of framebuilding and design in our seminars.
Q: How'd the fist year go? After the first year, what did you
need to change? Did more participants come on board after seeing
the results?
The first years show was literally thrown together in 3 months.
It needed to be done just to serve as the starting point for the
show now. The first show was only 23 exhibitors and about 770
attendees over the weekend, which gave us a good solid starting
point. The only changes being made are location. We went from
Houston, Texas to San Jose, California for 06. The original idea
was to have a traveling show and go from city to city, but the
organization of each show takes too much time away from my own
framebuilding, I would like to keep it in one town and leave it.
However, if San Jose doesn't pan out for us, we might have to
look for another location. We did move to a larger venue for 06.
We had so much good press that we went from 23 exhibitors to over
80 for this year.
Q: What are you guys planning for the future? Any changes? I
understand you moved to a bigger venue for '06.
I see the future of this show growing into the ultimate bicycle
consumer show. There's still a chance for the show to travel each
year, but it's uncertain at this point. I would like to see how
well San Jose fits with our format before I decide. It also means
we might have to seek out an even larger hall depending on the
success of this show, which means the availability of one in San
Jose for our time slot (early March) could prohibit us from staying…too
many factors at this point.
Q: Where do you see domestically produced bicycle frames and
accessories in another five years? Ten?
I see handmade bicycle production up by quite a bit at this
point. I think that you can't swing a flatted tubular in most
states without hitting a framebuilder or someone dabbling in it
for a hobby. They seem to be popping up on every corner. Where
will it lead in 5 years, I hope with my show it will lead to more
and more of the masses wanting a custom frame, or high quality
components made by small companies or individuals.
Q: So, do you drink? If so, what's your poison?
I like beer and Scotch. Mainly when it's a suds mood, I go
for Sierra Nevada Pale, Red Hook ESB or Shiner Bock. My favorite
Single Malt at this time is Balvenie 15 year old Single barrel
with a good cigar. |
It sounds damn good to me.
Jess swingin yard:
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From: Jess
Subject: assholes & candy bras
Hey jonny,
you know I don't normally like to send you ranting emails and that
I'd prefer sending pictures of naked chicks wearing candy bras,
but after I read this post...well, I just had to respond. Since
I played college hoops for 4 years, was involved in a bus collision
on the way to a game at Harvard, and now call myself a cyclist on
occasion, I think I'm entitled to defend myself.
listen Conrad, get your story straight. Maybe if you spent any
time in college going to class you'd know that college athletes
don't drive themselves to games. There is such a thing as a bus
driver that sits behind the wheel eating a big mac and slugging
back a 32oz. coffee from the wawa driving through the night to
ensure the team they make it safely to the gym on time for the
game. Unfortunately it sounds like this particular driver was
too concerned about the safety of the athletes on the bus to notice
the athlete on the road. Don't blame it on the players, dude.
I played 4 years of D1 College at an ivy league school and I'm
offended by your ignorance. I'll give you an answer to your question:
"Are there a bigger group of assholes at any college than the
fucking basketball players?"
I can think of at least 3:
1. fraternity fucks
2. campus crusade
3. sorority sluts
I'll acknowledge your moment of silence for the cyclists and
for the players on that bus. |
Don't fuck with Jess. Don't even look at her. She'll cross over and
knock your knees together.
More of the same:
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From: sketchmasterflex
Subject: FUCK jonny
Johnny,
Just to get the story straight. The bus only had the driver on it
when the cyclist was hit. Not that it matters to him or his family!
I just thought that it might be important to have the facts.
sketchmasterflex
Happy Fun Racing |
Yeah, it's an important point. I read that in one of the many, and
I mean many, links that came in on the subject. Of course, the email
I end up posting references a link that doesn't quite include that fact.
Fuck me.
I love Happy
Fun Racing.
Followed up by one from our boy Snake.
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From: Snake
Subject: Pac Man and Miles
Hey man,
Eating the miles up. Yesterday 140 in 6.5 hours.
Today more of the same. |
I rode for three hours on my mountain bike. Maybe 30 miles total. Pretty
fun, but we shouldn't be able to ride mountain bikes in the woods in
January in Flagstaff. There should be two feet of snow out there. Not
the two inches I rode through.
And that was just in patches. Most of what I rode was dry earth.
Scary stuff, this lack of snow. It's all gonna burn if we don't start
getting some snow.
We're setting records again. This time for lack of snow. Last year
we set records, but for the massive snowfall we were getting.
The pendulum swings far in Arizona.
Saturday, 2 1/2 fixed gear out Lake Mary Road to the top of the first
step. 43 x 17 on that thing. Tears the legs up something fierce. And
fun as hell.
I was next to Brinky for awhile and he has a computer on his machine.
I can turn the new taller gear at 20+ mph without much difficulty. It's
a good gear for a rolling road like Lake Mary. At least if you don't
go any farther than Mormon Lake. If and when I pull that stunt, I'll
have some things to deal with. Like much bigger hills.
Wish me luck. It's going to happen sooner or later.
Everyday I'm in this office, Snakes out there getting stronger. And
I get weaker.
Fucking Snake.
Links coming at ya:
[anna malle] vegasblog.latimes.com/vegas/2006/01/death_of_anna_m.html
[h2] hummer.servik.com/hummer/hummer1.htm
[bode] rollingstone.com/news/story/9183150/bode_miller_speed_freak...
[o'grady] velonews.com/news/fea/9428.0.html
[rude] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-isnt-going-away-for-bush-for.html
I haven't heard the President's State of the Union address yet, but
I'll preemptively address his health care plan.
Just because I can.
All I know if it is what I've read in the Times and at various web
sites. TPM shakes
it down handily.
Here's what I got to say: Having a medical savings account and a high
deductible "limited" coverage plan for the really expensive occurrences
does exactly shit for me. I've already got a "limited" plan with a high
deductible. And I don't go to the doctor much, if ever. Last couple
of times I went: Stepped on a nail, nasty upper respiratory infection,
and needed stitches. That's it. In something like three years. I'm not
exactly overburdening the health care system here.
The savings plan would differ in one way that what I already have:
Pre-tax contributions. Seems awfully nice. But my income is not taxed
as I work as a "consultant". I am already saving a percentage of each
paycheck for my very own medical savings account for out of pocket expenses.
I'm already earning interest on that money. The account does not seem
to grow all that fast, in fact, it's so fucking small it scares me.
Of course, I eventually have to pay tax on that money. My point was
only that even channeling cash into my jonny's hurt slush fund pre-tax
when my pay checks seem huge, I'm not setting the world on fire.
In fact, I feel desperate. I feel like my coverage is completely and
totally inadequate. I feel like I am in an untenable situation. I don't
see that little difference Bush is talking about as making my situation
any more palatable. My situation flat out sucks. My coverage is bullshit.
And this is Bush's grant idea? More of the same?
Yes, answering my own question, yes, Bush's plan is to give to the
rest of America the wonderful plan I currently enjoy. Which, as I explained
above, sucks. I'm looking to get what, a break on what I can deposit?
I write off on my taxes?
Thanks George. Thanks. I really can't wait to sit and listen as he
explains the benefits of having a plan just like mine. Yeah, I can't
wait to hear him talk my position. A position I really don't want to
be in.
Fucked up, eh? America, you can be just like me.
If you're like me, you're getting ready for the Old Pueblo. And by ready,
I mean trying to actually make it to the event. And ride a bit. Just
a bit. Get ready to turn the pedals in anger.
Funny how that works, ain't it? Just getting there is the hardest part.
Once you're there, it's all gravy. Just get your big stupid ass to
the event with a bike that actually works, a big bag of food, some beer
and something to lay down in. Tent, car, whatever. Somewhere you can
try and steal a few minutes of shuteye.
I'm already getting excited.
Linky linkenstien
[fucked] washingtonpost.com/...AR2006011601033.html
[esseff] whatiam.net
[vid] youtube.com/watch?v=iHwYBPuv9Uk
[abramoff] talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/007554.php
[heroes] insomnia.livejournal.com/652389.html?nc=2&style=mine
Over 6,000 spam emails for January. And the month ain't even over yet.
Fuck me running.
| |
From: Ken F.
Subject: Whole Kendra Payne thing out of hand
Hey Jonny,
So everyone sure is speculating a lot about what happened to Kendra
Payne. Living in SB for a long time and driving that road a lot,
I can give a much clearer picture of what happened. I can also say
that I sold her the bike she was hit on and that she was a beautiful
and sweet girl. Her memorial service was inspiring- as everyone
saw the positive impact she had on everyone around her during her
short life.
Back to Gibraltar road. Where the truck passed her it has been
determined the road was 12", 1 foot, wider than the truck. Some
not understanding bikes say this gave her only a foot of room
which we know is really less because handlebars stick out to the
side so now there is at max a few inches clearance for even the
best rider on the most beat up piece of crap road in Santa Barbara
County.
Did I mention that it is somewhere around a 5000% grade right
there? Let me make it clear that it is so steep that a truck can
barely climb it and a double trailer dump cannot in any way possible
stop on that hill and start up again without jackknifing and being
sent either into the wall or off a 125 foot cliff where the shoulder
would be on a normal road.
I ride a lot in Santa Barbara. The roads are skinny, the cars
drive fast, and the bike path is usually a white line unless there
are rocks and other debris there instead. Kendra was a fast triathlete
but she was no hardened cyclist. Less than a couple years under
her belt. And I'll be honest that this hardened cyclist, who has
even lost a leg from being hit before and has nerves of steel,
will pull over and hug the side of the road when I hear big trucks
or screeching tires from reckless drivers behind me on really
tight corners while climbing these super narrow roads. What is
a few seconds lost to be safe? She really needed to do this to
stay alive.
I feel sorry for the truck driver because he was coming around
a super tight right hander where the road drops off a cliff to
the left and he probably had his tire within 2 inches of the edge
of the road, but being on just about the steepest grade of the
entire 7 mile road, he could not stop and then there is some woman
also going uphill on a bike that needs to get off the road but
doesn't, and he passes her as best he can. His only other option
was to hit the binders and call a towtruck from the other side
to come down to him to get him up the hill which would take a
couple hours to get there.
There is always a lot more to it than people realize. The number
one thing to learn from this in my opinion is follow your gut
always. If something inside you says turn right on some street
you never usually take, do it. If you unexpectedly take a different
route now and then go with it. If you are climbing on a wicked
hill like those around Santa Barbara where there is barely room
for two cars to pass much less adding a bike, and you hear a car
and you know another is coming down and the timing is about right
so they will pass you at the same time, loop out into a driveway
for a couple circles and let them pass then keep climbing. Whatever
it takes.
Around here there aren't many mentors helping the roadies out
and the younger crowd doesn't listen to us "old guys" and that
could be anyone over 29 years old to them. So they are out on
their own riding the road but crashing a lot and totally sketchy
in a pack. I would never do a group ride in Santa Barbara. So
Kendra unfortunately didn't have the tutelage of the old timers
like I guess a lot of us now old timers did, and it is a pretty
tragic ending to what should have been just a scare. Cycling is
dangerous and a lot of the old timers are still out riding because
they aren't just hammers, they are SMART.
Peace,
Ken |
The only issue I see is that it is the responsibility of the operator
to maintain control of his (or her) vehicle, regardless of whether that
vehicle is a dump truck, a bicycle or a Bitch'n Camaro. Over taking
a slower moving vehicle, which has every right to the full use of the
street that you do, is something that must be done in a safe and legal
manner.
As I see if, passing a bicycle is no different that passing farm equipment
or a horse and buggy. Both of which I had to somehow navigate around
back in Pennsylvania.
It's just part of the deal: Share the road.
Ah Jesus, Thursday all ready? How'd we get here so fast? What happened
to the week?
When I'm busy, the week just flies by. And, oddly enough, when I'm
busy, I need every day of the week to stay afloat. Just trying to keep
my head above water here folks. Nothing to worry about. Please keep
moving along. Keep your hands out of the cage, children. And don't feed
the animals.
Most of the time I'm dying to get to the weekend. Just fucking dying.
Counting down the days to freedom.
Those two fat days off give me time to ride my bike. And whatever else
needs doing. This week, I'm slammed. How in the hell am I going to get
everything sorted out by tomorrow. My desk looks like a fucking bomb
went off.
Boom.
Answer: I'm not going to get everything sorted out by tomorrow. It'll
have to wait until Monday. At least most of it.
And so it goes.
Linky links:
[reviews] pornstarperformance.com/main.php
[fucked] theagitator.com/archives/026196.php#026196
[the 50] buffalobeast.com/91/pf50MLill2005.htm
[gitty] cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&…7214902599
[bargain] cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&…5660468720
I should take this time to thank all of those people out there that
have been ordering stuff from the DC
store. I appreciate the support. A few extra dollars in the bank
for race fees and beer. Pretty much in that order.
| |
From: b540
Subject: RE: Redhead for Dave
Thanks BFJ. Brilliant post on the assassination of the Iraqi General.
Rummy's Army just doesn't get the big picture do they? The insurgents
may use the verdict to stoke the flames but the real concern is
the backlash from the Iraqi Army veterans now being trained in the
national police force. Not an effective way to build good will between
the two nations. Regarding another headline though, it will be interesting
to see how Dumbya supports free elections when Hamas is voted into
power. How come we did not hear much about the elections considering
they were the first Palestinian parliamentary elections in over
a decade? The U.S. propped elections in Iraq were touted as a fucking
veritable Boston Tea Party, what a joke. There were lots of elections
in Vietnam too, right up to the point when choppers were pulling
people off the embassy. |
Good point.
| |
From: Conrad
Subject: FUCK
Jonny,
msn.foxsports.com/cbk/story/5277120
Run over by a bus full of fucking basketball players. Life is not
exactly fair. Basketball players? Are there a bigger group of assholes
at any college than the fucking basketball players? And now they
got their busses running over bikers. Fuck shit piss.
I'm at a loss for words... a moment of silence perhaps?
Silently,
Conrad |
I'll go with the silence…
| |
From: Dejay
Subject: post ssaz06
If you didn't make it to Experience the Singlespeed In Tucson, Az
over the weekend you missed out big time. Here is some of what you
missed
singleswizzle.com/ssaz06/pics/index.htm
Maybe you will all make it to the next one, so be on the look
out.
a big thanks to all the helpers at the event. It would not be
possible with out you.
Thanks alot to all the sponsors that put in and support such
events: Phil Wood, Genuine Innovations, IRC, Chrome, DT Swiss,
WTB, Specialized, Surly, Singleswizzle and New Belgium Brewery.
Head up, Wheels down, Smile on,
dejay |
And I'm out.
The grand old hump day. Glad to be past it.
Or, on it, as the case may be. Teetering on the edge of midweek. Toeing
up to the ridgeline and looking down. Things could be far worse. Far
worse indeed.
Snow in the northland. Not a lot, just enough to let you know it's
winter. Funny stuff, snow. I bitch about it a good deal. But then, when
there isn't any, and it's just witch's tit cold and miserable, I long
for it.
If it's cold, it should be snowy. It's like peas and carrots. Bread
and butter. Cheney and torture.
And the lack of snow, or any measurable precipitation, worries me for
the coming summer and god awful fire season. This place is going to
be on fire. And it's going to suck.
Today's fine link selection coming at ya:
[google] sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/…notes012506.DTL&nl=fix
[shocker sighting] fazed.org/video/embed/?id=20
[fun] churchsigngenerator.com
[music] sonsanddaughtersloveyou.com
[music] nor-tec.org
And on to the emails:
| |
From: Philbert Desanex
Subject: Shitheads and sleeping bags
O My Comrade in Cerveza,
Two notes:
1) The bike-riding officer notes, in part, "(T)he average news
jockey can't get a story right much of the time anyway. They're
in too big a hurry and don't get paid enough to check facts. Most
of the time it seems like they steal each others information and
re-pack it slightly rearranged to satisfy editors who just want
to sell advertising and not get sued." This would be wrong, all
except the not-getting-paid-enough part. Having spent 30-odd years
gathering and publishing information for people who demand it
on the minute, every minute, but sneer at me and my colleagues
as lower than a shrimp's dick, I can assure you that while we
are indeed in a hurry (deadlines wait for no man), most of us
try very, very hard to get it right. Make it up or steal from
your colleagues and you will hear from them until your eardrums
and/or nose explode in a bloody froth. And editors don't sell
ads. Newsrooms and ad departments get along about as well as two
tomcats in a sack, headed over the bridge railing toward the icy
river below.
2) For those who think torturing Iraqis to death is a swell idea,
I propose the following: Imagine your son, daughter, husband or
wife stuffed head-first into a sleeping bag with a giant Iraqi
sitting on his or her chest. That should clarify the old thought
process a smidgen.
Yours for clarity,
Philbert Desanex
Deuce Reporter (Opposite End of the Pay Scale from Ace Reporter)
|
I'll wrap it up with this one:
| |
From: Erik
Subject: Bicycle Film Festival - Call for Entries
Hey Big Jonny! I just wanted to drop you an email to let you know
that it is time for everyone to send in those films. With your help
in past years, the festival has expanded to world-wide status! Not
just US and Canada BS, we are talking the UK, Japan, Korea, more...
We are also attracting bigger and better films. This year the mtb
portion will get a nice shot from a film coming out of the crowd
at BIKE mag and some of the old school types - Klunker. Looks to
be a sort of Joe Kid on a Stingray for the mtb crowd.
Please help spread the word!
SIXTH ANNUAL BICYCLE FILM FESTIVAL Call for Entries
Bicycle Film Festival is a celebration of bicycle culture through
film, art, and music.
The Bicycle Film Festival is seeking submissions for its sixth
annual Festival. The event will feature dozens of different films
on a variety of bicycle styles - from BMX to urban bike culture,
cycling to commuting. The 2005 Bike Film Fest was attended by
15,000 people with many sold out showings. This year's festival
is larger then ever before and will include 10 cities throughout
the world including last years cities New York, Los Angles, San
Francisco, Tokyo, and London! It is bound to be a lot of fun again
in 2006!
We encourage YOU to submit films with these guidelines to enter:
All lengths. Short is great and easier to program. All genres:
BMX, animation, narratives, docs, experimental, Hollywood, cycling,
and so on. The festival is more than films, it also features music,
parties, fun bicycle parade, and art exhibitions.
For info:
bicyclefilmfestival.com/dev
The deadline for submissions is February 17, 2006. |
I'm actually feeling a bit better today. Yes, it's true. Today I see
the bright side. Today I take the up side. Today, I'm buying into the
spin.
I'll have a latte, skinny please. And, decaf, of course.
That badass Hummer double parked outside? Yeah, that's my ride. Sweet,
huh?
You don't like it?
Well, hurry up with my skinny decaf latte, Ms. Mountain Muffin and
I'll be on my way. I've got bunnies to smash and vegetation to trample.
Did you catch Fox News last night? The War is going well. Better every
day.
Jesus. Somebody stop me.
Did I mention I upped the gear on my fixie (well, on one of them) to
a 43 x 17 from 39 x 17? I put on longer cranks, 177.5, and two brake
hoods. Just a front brake for me, thank you very much.
And I even rode it.
Yes. I rode a bike. Outside. On purpose.
Big fun. I wore damn near everything I owned. The high was 37. The
low? I dunno, my balls?
We rode past frozen lakes. In Arizona. I can't believe it.
And my legs still hurt.
Why?
Because I'm a pussy, that's why.
All hail the link dump:
[time warp] dailykos.com/story/2004/9/9/105925/9317
[vietnam] english.uiuc.edu/maps/vietnam/anderson.htm
[team] cyclingnews.com/news.php?id=news/am_teams/2006/eclipse
[badass] geocities.com/rayhosler/jobst/jobst.html
[pro] holidaykoala.com.au/athletehk/home.asp?athleteID=1
[religion] boston.com/news/science/...vatican_paper_hits_intelligent_design
[fyi] bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4468884.stm
[hummer] themessthatgreenspanmade.blogspot.com/2005/11/hummer-overfloweth.html
[halliburton] msnbc.msn.com/id/10977706
[cheney] pistolwimp.com/media/40952
[bush] wolfblog.net/index.php/2006/01/23/together-forever/
[google] nytimes.com/2006/01/21/opinion/21sat2.html?_r=1&th&emc=th
[game] iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html
Tried the game. 11.26 first try. I'm afraid to try it again. Ok. 17.88
second time out. And my seventh (or eighth) time out: 20.539.
And people can do over two minutes? Fuck me, that's hard to imagine.
And tomorrow, in NOrth Carolina, a boy named Jeff will spend hours
on that game.
| |
From: BikeCop
Subject: Kendra Payne case comments
Hi DC,
Long time reader, first time writer.
The whole thing with Ms. Payne is tragic and awful. As for the
fact the driver has not been charged yet? They have to wait until
the investigation is done. Fatal traffic collisions investigations
sometimes take months to get everything finished. I haven't read
anywhere that the guy won't be charged or that nothing is going
to be done.
How do I know? I'm a 25 year veteran cop and traffic unit supervisor
and manager. I have hundreds of hours of advanced and technical
traffic collision reconstruction experience. I teach mountain
bike patrol procedures and do bike rodeos for schools.
I am also a competitive Cat 3 road/track cyclist, president of
my cycling/track race team, former bike patrol cop (still do it
once in a while as the supervisor). Add to that my work with my
local Velodrome teaching classes and working on the volunteer
board of directors.
I've investigated hundreds of collisions, dozens with bicycles
involved and have been hit several times by ignorant drivers and
argued with insurance companies for myself and others. I know
both sides of the equation. I agree with several of your writers
who said the one foot clearance comment is stupid. Wait until
it's all over and see what happens; until then keep supporting
the families and getting the word out.
I think as a journalist of sorts yourself you with your experience
linking to news articles you probably recognize that the average
news jockey can't get a story right much of the time anyway. They're
in too big a hurry and don't get paid enough to check facts. Most
of the time it seems like they steal each others information and
re-pack it slightly rearranged to satisfy editors who just want
to sell advertising and not get sued.
Personally I hope they jail the driver, seize the truck and her
family ends up owning the company then sells it to build a monument
to her.
Another reason for writing was to take issue with Morgan's comments
in Thursday's post. For Morgan to write the following on your
Thursday post is BS:
4. Cyclists always looses control. The investigators are donut
eating pigs who last rode a bike when they were 10 and they are
unable to control one, so they know no one else can either.
This just shows he doesn't know what he's talking about concerning
this topic. The department I work for has several competitive
cyclists, bike patrol officers and currently has 32 of our 100
employees enrolled in an annual national 911 fitness challenge.
A dozen others didn't bother because they know they're too fit
to show the improvement that it takes to win the challenge. A
few others should have joined but did not.
I've visited your site at least twice a week since I found it
over a year ago. I've referred a lot of traffic your way as well.
I think you're doing great work in helping cyclist find a voice
and helping support down cyclists. Keep it up, but please remember
that while there are a few a** hole cops out there, the vast majority
are hard working professional that lay there butts on the line
every day. On the other side; I've ridden bikes with some real
knuckleheads and tried to help them to keep a little perspective
too. |
Well said.
| |
From: John
Subject: You know you're a drunk when…
…..the wind blows over your garbage can and you have to pick up
all the lime wedges and empty tonic cans that have scattered all
over your yard….
(a true story) |
And here I thought it was when you had to wade ankle deep through pabst
cans to turn off the alarm clock on a school night.
Or something.
| |
From: Uncle Pistol
Subject: Back in Jalisco
So,
I've been camped with some way cool folks. Good diving and hot springs
within a nice half hour ride. There are really good two track farm
roads with no traffic and a TON of jungle birds. The river flows
to the sea and it's a good place to see crocs. It's alright,man.
The only fly in the ointment is the fuck camped right close by.
We're sayin' howdy and introducing ourselves when he sees I'm a
cyclist. "Oh,these roads are too dangerous for riding bikes!" I
calmly explain if one pays attention it's all good. "Well if a big
truck's coming at me I'll just run you over!" So I ask him if he
was just telling me he'd casually kill me rather than hitting the
brakes You have no right to be on the road...yadda,yadda,yadda".
Typical stupid fuck. ,I looks him in the eye and tells him "You
know motherfucker, scalp would look really really good on my lodgepole".
One of the old geezers laughs right out loud at this one. of the
campers down this way have an errand bike. Run for beer and other
necessities. Most of the locals ride too, in one way or another.This
guy's been playing games with peoples lives. Swerving and the usual.
Hahaha, so fuckin' funny. Everyone hates him. I just had a word
with the local cops. They aren't laughing. They headed right out
to see him. It ought to be interesting when I get back to camp.
|
Pistol Pete taking out the slack.
| |
From: avow943
Subject: Can you believe this shit
gazette.com/display.php?id=1314001
I can't. Though, I can think of a few people that I pony up the
6k to torture and then ultimately kill. I still can't believe some
of the shit that the people said in the article. "You have to support
the soldiers, give them rules and then let them make mistakes".
What kind of dumb bullshit is that? How about his wife claiming
that you sometimes have to do the right thing. Apparently, this
was not one of those times. Other people should be punished for
torture and killing but not my husband. Dumb cow. If one wishes,
they could surf on over to cnn and see that hacking computers will
get you more jail time and more of a fine (61,000). Bush can suck
a dick, later.
avow943
cnn.com/2006/TECH/internet/01/23/hacker.ap/index.html
|
There is no love lost here for spammers and hackers. Those guys are
a giant size pain in my ass.
But the death
of General
Mowhoush is worth six grand?
Remember, after the US invasion, Mowhoush
turned himself in. He came forward willingly.
And what did he get
out of it?
Stuffed in a sleeping bag and suffocated. That's what he got. Smooth
move. Don't think for a moment the irony is lost on the average Iraqi.
Meet with the US soldiers, and you may die at their hands.
And yes, I am saying a six thousand dollar fine and calling it good
is a joke.
We are only working to strengthen the hand of the insurgents with stunts
like that.
Before you start drafting your support the troops emails, I would say
the same thing if it were a death in police custody here in the States.
I don't care how much of a scumbag someone is. Once you've got Mr. Scumbag
in custody, handcuffed and behind bars, you had better be damn sure
of how you treat him. For if you beat, torture, stress and the rest
of it, you are no better than Mr. Scumbag. At the end of the day, you
are Mr. Scumbag.
And to those who would pose the rather lopsided and recently popular
argument where a) You've got a terrorist, b) There is a bomb in a major
city, c) Only the terrorist knows where the bomb is, d) If you can make
him talk, you could save hundreds, if not thousands of lives, e) Is
torture permissible under these circumstances?
Many fans of Fox News leap to the conclusion that, yes, torture is
absolutely appropriate. Fuck the terrorist. He gave up his rights when
he decided to get involved with this whole bomb thing. He has no rights.
Do with him as you please. Save American lives in whatever way is necessary.
The ends justify the means.
In order for the above argument to succeed, one has to assume that
there is a specific question, with a specific answer that will save
lives. This wasn't quite like that. The problem with this scenario as
applied to people like the late General Mowhoush is that there was no
'bomb in a major city' to beat out of him. It was a fishing expiation,
not the investigation into one specific threat. Find out what this guy
knows. About everything. About anything. Work on him till he tell you
if he wears women's underwear. Pump him for as much information as possible.
Stuff him in a sleeping bag, sit on his chest and cover his mouth with
your hands.
And call it a day.
Monday and nothing to say. Two football games yesterday, neither of
them worth a damn. Hopefully in two weeks we'll have a game of it.
It's a good time to be a Seahawks fan. They're giving four
to the Steelers. I might have to take that action. I think Pittsburgh
is going to give them a run. (Correction: I am retarded. Steelers giving
four to Hawks.)
But then again, I also thought Denver was going to play some football
yesterday. Maybe I'll just forgo the wager and spend the money on booze
instead.
God damn it I hate Mondays.
Today's links:
[models] ladirectmodels.com/index2-girls.php
[fucked] washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/21/AR2006012100094.html
[hero] paloaltobicycles.com/alps_photos.html
[cool] velo-retro.com/vr.html
[blog] drunknipslips.com/blog
I love this next article about Doctor Michele Ferrari. I was going
to just throw it in the link dump, but I couldn't pass up posting this
quote as a lead in.
"I think he is one of the most knowledgeable and best trainers in
cycling," Mapei CEO Giorgio Squinzi says, "but I also think he is a
person who operates without any moral restrictions whatsoever."
Read the rest at bicycling.com
Short update tonight. But stuffing DC jerseys into envelopes will take
it's toll on your evening.
Let's start today off with one right out of the "holy fucking shit"
handbook:
Genevieve Jeanson banned for life
You gotta be kidding me.
She did beat the daylights out of all comers for a good bit. But this
surprises me. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. Maybe I'm really not all
that surprised.
Maybe we should accept the fact our heroes do drugs.
We want superhuman achievements. Superhuman efforts. Superhuman accomplishments.
All by normal humans.
And to think what I could have done on the bike if it wasn't for all
these performance de-enhancing substances I've been so found of. Oh,
the great things I could have done.
Instead I sit here and drink.
[info] dailyorange.com/…/Pulp/Fact-Or.Myth.Drunk.Driving.On.A.Bicycle
[blog] bikesatan.blogspot.com
[read] talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/007477.php
[liberalism] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberalism
[listen] maddogmedia.com/rfd
An email from the one and only Dirty Kate:
| |
From: Dirty Kate
Subject: Gotta find a better way
Hello Jonny,
Got another story for you, sit tight and hopefully be amused.
So I'm a rugby player, not a cyclist, I'll just say that out
right. But I know that cyclists know what its like to have the
big thighs. Like the freaky strong thighs that make people you
work with go "you could crush walnuts with those" when you don
shorts. I don't mind this attention so much, but there's this
guy at my gym.....
I'm out of season from November till February and I became a
bit of a fatty over the holidays. I'm trying to get back in shape.
At the gym, I'm lifting, running, spinning, looking like a sweaty
piece of nasty and not really caring. A few weeks ago, a guy at
my gym made some comment about my thighs. I smiled and went on
doing squats, hoping he'd go take his weight belt and hang himself
with it. As the days progressed, Mr. Chiefy Balls Junior Exec
continued trying to talk to me. Now I never begrudge a guy trying
to lay game, we all wanna get that nut, so I am usually very cordial
and very flattered. But what, I asked myself, about my sweaty,
headphoned, serious workout face appearance and short one word
answers made him keep coming back? My answer was short in coming…or
shall I say cumming?
Last week, the conversation went south when he decided that since
I wasn't responding to normal banter, he should try aggressively
hitting on me. Now, normally I would tell him to piss off, but
since this gym is owned and managed by my company, I decided not
to do anything dramatic and attempted to shrug him off. I somehow
found myself going out to drinks with him after work and I figured
"Well, maybe I could just screw him and get it over with, cause
it will probably go badly and he will be too ashamed to talk to
me." The bar had a lounge type bathroom, we found a corner, yada
yada yada, and then he goes "I really want to come on your thigh"
No joke. First let me say this: you men are fucking weird. So
I was like, well, that's better than in my eye (which burns by
the way) so yeah ok whatever. I guess the look on my face was
more disapproving and now we don't talk at the gym. Problem solved.
The moral of this story: I got to find a better way to get guys
to leave me alone. |
Since the response to Dirty Kate had been, well, positive, I've decided
to up her role here at Drunkcyclist. Our dear Ms. Dirty Kate will now
be providing advice to DC fans. Yes, you too can get yourself a piece
of Kate.
Send your questions to: dirtykate (at) drunkcyclist.com
She will review them and answer those that are worthy. Then I'll post
it right here on the site to provide further humiliation.
Everyone wins.
I can't wait.
The Happy Friday Jokes:
| |
From: Tall Paul
Subject: Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing
Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see
the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of
the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite
two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to
hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement
was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket
watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique
watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six
generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting. "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .
. ". The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and
forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs
of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped
from the Hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into
pieces. "SHIT", said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center. |
One more.
| |
From: Big Marty
Subject: Bike Lingo
"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since
the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than
you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your
mortgage rate.
"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling
and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force
you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have
to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.
"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared.
It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign.
Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward.
You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.
"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: Yo, lard ass I'd like to get home before midnight.
This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating
chocolate. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had
the chance.
"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue
dogs.
"It's not that far"
Translation: Bring your passport |
It's snowing. It's snowing like crazy out there. Big slow meandering
lazy flakes. The heavy ones that actually amount to something when it's
all said and done.
And not a day too soon.
We need this. And we need it bad. The street side rumor, propagated
by none other that Flagstaff's own Gold Member, is there was a fire
up on Elden yesterday. Undoubtedly started by some pothead huckster.
Or, Big Gay Randy on a fixed Surly. But that's just a rumor at this
point.
But a nice layer of the fluffy white stuff ought to quench the forest's
thirst. For now. Maybe we'll actually still have a forest after the
coming fire season. A fire season that apparently started yesterday.
Go figure.
One stupid comparison I penciled on a piece of paper a few months ago
was my Leadville and SSWC heart rates. Hey, it was interesting to me.
Leadville; ave 144, max 178. SSWC; ave 152, max 183.
So which was harder?
Well, one took twice as long as the other. And the second I showed
up for pretty damn hung over.
Conclusion: They were both fun.
On to the links:
[fucked] theagitator.com/archives/026168.php#026168
[pics] kindgirls.com/gal.php?...lia19&p=102
[story] cyberhap.com/hell/helltoc.htm
Yeah, I've done better on the link selection. Sometimes you just gotta
take what you can get. At least I got me some emails to share.
| |
From: Charles
Subject: you used a what as a computer desk?
Dude you know that subs run immense magnets to push that amount
of air, and the coils generate fierce electromagnetic fields. You
also know that your hard disk uses magnetism to store its data.
Putting a laptop hard drive with minimal shielding near a powerful
and fluctuating EM field is kinda like swinging a hammer to press
the keys. Keep that up and there'll be some down time and soon.
Guess you can get out and ride if that happens... |
Yeah, I'm a genius. If this was the Godfather, I'd be Fredo.
| |
From: Swill
Subject: Kendra Payne info
Jonny,
Despite the fact Kendra Payne was going down hill, Gibraltar is
steep, twisty, single lane road full of pot holes and cracks(on
the upper half) - thus the asphalt repair taking place.
Riders tend not to "bomb" down it, but they go fast enough that
the truck had no business passing a group of riders up there.
I can't believe the driver wasn't charged.
Sounds like Santa Barbara County is covering their ass on this
one. |
The whole thing just stinks.
And we all lose when it's like this. We all lose.
| |
From: Morgan
Subject: JDA
Hey Jonny
Lets see the truck driver who hit Kendra Payne is the only who can
testify about what happened. The other party is dead and I hope
the driver has nightmares for the rest of his fuckin life. What
a gifted person Kendra was. I can ride a bike, but the diving thing,
now that is scary stuff. If you can control your balance for that...you
don't just loose control do you. And if you get squeezed from a
4 ft lane to a 1 ft lane and your bars are 1.5 ft then something
has to give. Why didn't the driver yield, he was behind and has
the obligation not to hit something in front of him. What can you
learn from this?
The physical laws of the story are
1. Mass always wins. Never challenge mass, lycra shorts do not
make you superman.
2. Momentum is your friend, until you have to stop, then see #1.
3. Drivers always have the right of way, see #1.
4. Cyclists always looses control. The investigators are donut
eating pigs who last rode a bike when they were 10 and they are
unable to control one, so they know no one else can either.
Later Morgan, aka the 16" titanium rodded femur man. |
One coming at ya from the Tour D' Freak-o.
| |
From: Tall Todd
Subject: another note from Africa
Hi again. As we enter the Sudan in 3 days, which will be bleak for
web access, I figured that I send another update for now. I hesitate
to say that I am having a good time for all of the people whom I
am missing, but I am having a really good time so far. Hopefully
my optimism will continue. My work load as the mechanic has been
light so far, but I am not expecting that to continue once the pavement
ends. But for now, I straighten a wheel and get a beer. I adjust
a derailer and get an ice cream sandwich. This barter system is
working out fine for me!
Yesterday we crossed into the Nile valley and finished in Luxor,
home of ancient tombs, temples and European tourists. Our ride
in sent us past farm villages where children lined the streets
shouting "Hello" and "What's your name?", and lined up for high-fives
in the village centers. Although it was sketchy to make sure they
didn't take you out, or you didn't break their hands in a speeding
high-five, it was a very positive experience waving to all the
folks along the way. Our campsite has been a great home, with
warm showers, a kitchen and unlimited of beer, soda and ice cream.
It will be tough to say good bye. Tomorrow the race continues.
As far as that goes, it seems like the same 5 guys are feeling
each other out and the women's division is also tight at the top.
It's far to early in a 4-month stage race for any one to try to
go it alone, and everyone is awaiting their time to be ill or
have some sort of major problem. It sounds like that is inevitable
for everyone.
Wish us luck in Sudan! |
Tonight's update is being done in a whole new way. A whole new way.
I've set a stereo receiver on top of a klipsch 8 inch subwoofer, and
my computer on top of that. Think of it as a desk. Add a pair of boston
acoustic speakers out on each side and you've got yourself a work station
with some serious firepower.
I'm sitting right here in front of this Godfuck contraption. On a plastic
stool, no less. The laptop is wired through the cd inputs.
I'm a fucking genius. It's right up there with the rest of that ten-years-ago
shit I've been doing lately.
This shit is rocking. I'm a day late and a dollar short on this. And
I don't care.
Clap you hands say yeah. Over and over again.
More on Kendra Payne. And, to be clear, I mean no disrespect to the
memory of Ms. Payne by posting all of this. What happened to her is
a crime. And I mean that.
| |
From: Tom J.
Subject: Truck kills UCSB triathlete
Jonny,
That story makes me sick. What a waste of a beautiful life...and
for what? To deliver a load of asphalt?
Although I wasn't there, after reading the three articles, four
points stick out.
1. She was going down hill. Road cyclists going down hill generally
go fast, easily 25 mph +. The truck had to be traveling in excess
of that speed to pass her. What is the speed limit at the site
of the "accident"?
2. "The truck had only about a foot of clearance when the driver
attempted to pass" the California Highway Patrol said. That is
tantamount to running her off the road. Passing in those conditions
is inexcusable.
3. The suction from a fully loaded asphalt truck, passing that
closely could easily pull a light weight cyclist under the rear
wheels or force her to "loose control".
4. Would he have passed a motor vehicle with only a foot of
clearance? I think not. I hope not. She had just as much of a
right to that road as a motor vehicle.
The reckless and aggressive passing of the cyclist caused her
death and the driver of the motor vehicle should be punished accordingly.
The cyclists of Santa Barbara cannot let this story rest until
justice has been served. Kendra Payne deserves that much.
Sincerely,
Fed up in Ft. Collins |
Some good points. And there's more coming at ya.
| |
From: nate
Subject: accident article; horrible
ahoy,
you probably got a lot of email on this. The following quote from
the article describes the criminally negligent actions of the truck
driver. How terrifying would this situation be?
"... Payne was riding westbound on Gibraltar Road when a truck
pulling a trailer loaded with asphalt began to overtake her bicycle.
As Payne and the vehicle, driven by 26-year-old Santa Maria resident
Marcos Almaguer, traveled along the road, the space between her
bicycle and the three-axel truck narrowed to approximately one
foot. Payne lost control of her bicycle and sustained fatal injuries
when she was run over by the trailer's rear tires."
What type of bicycle can be operated within a one foot space
between a moving vehicle and whatever barrier is on the other
side? What a tragedy. |
I've been squeezed tight enough by a big old truck that I took one
hand off the bars and pushed my arm onto the trailer as it came by to
try and keep myself away from the beast. And I was nothing but lucky.
The room they leave you is just not enough. It's insane.
I just measured my handlebars out in the garage. None of the road bikes
come in at less than 19 inches, and all the mountain bikes are well
over two feet wide.
One foot. One damn foot. It woulda killed me too.
She lost control, my ass.
Bottom line: Let's all be careful out there. Keep the rubber side down.
| |
From: Mr. Bill
Subject: Your page
Hello Drunk Cyclist,
I ran across your page and really enjoy it, I'm not a Drunk Cyclist
but I have been drunk on a bike.
On my ride yesterday I made a discovery I wanted to share with you,
you might find it to be valuable info.
Thoughts From the Road:
I may be sitting on a Gold mine.
It was a beautiful day an I just had to go for a ride on the
back roads on my Mtn bike. I decided to do about 20 miles in and
out of the bottoms, including Buck Hill and Alp de Red Hill.
It was a cool day so I wore a long sleeve jersey and a toboggan
and instead of my cycling gloves I wore some cotton gloves.
I left for my ride and noticed right away it was cool but as
long as I was working it was just about right. I had ridden about
2 miles and since it was cool my nose was running, so I blew my
nose and then proceeded to wipe it with the back of my glove.
Oh My God, Shit, what the hell is that? After getting my bearings
I realized what it was.
The last time I wore those gloves I remembered that when I returned
from my ride Teresa had asked me to carry some cans to the barn.
When I got to the barn with the cans and picked up the large bag
to deposit the cans into it, I smelled it immediately, MALE CAT
SPRAY. Man that shit stinks and it's stouter than Hercules.
So hear I am riding along trying to clear my head and telling
myself, Damn, don't do that again. So about 5 miles out I'm cooking
along and approach a small hill and began to work a little and
my nose begins to run. I blew my nose and Shit, you guessed it,
I did it again. This time I'm really pissed, I knew better and
I did it again and it stinks like shit. I clear the hill and I'm
cooking along and I start thinking, I'm having a pretty good day,
as a matter of fact I'm cookin. That damn glove with that Cat
Spray, surely not.
At about 12 miles out I encounter Buck Hill, definitely the steepest
hill on my route, I decide I'm going to experiment. As I reach
the base of the hill and start the climb, I cram my glove strait
into my nose and get a big whiff, thought I'd throw up, then I
started cussing my ignorant self and pedaling like crazy, yep
you guessed it, I was up Buck Hill in no time, and I'm beginning
to believe there may be something to this Cat Spray. At 17 miles
into my ride I encounter my longest steep hill, Alp de Red Hill,
this Cat Spray must have some staying power, cause I rode right
on up without another dose, imagine that.
As soon as I returned to the house the first thing I did was
get the gloves off, and then wash my hands and face for about
15 minutes.
I started thinking about how good a ride I had and couldn't
help but wonder if the Cat Spray really does improve performance.
I also don't know if it's psychological or physiological, although
when I got home I did get into a fight with the neighbors male
cat and I chased one of our female cats around the front yard.
Further testing is required, that's where you may come in handy.
If you want to help me test this idea, I'll send you a hermetically
sealed baggie with a pre -sprayed glove inside, I'll send instructions
on proper usage separately. Anyone who helps will of course share
in the profits, please don't tell anyone your in this study and
you will have to sign a release.
Now you know what's going on in the minds of those lone cyclists
out there on the road.
Have a good day mr bill
bikenbreakfast.com
|
Sitting around today just feeling like shit. I'm wasted. Dead tired.
Spent. What some pass off as "salad". And I just pass. Nothing to see
here, keep on moving right along. Took a lot out of me when it left.
I'm still recovering it seems.
Got a couple of rides in this weekend. Just a few. Like two. And I
only threw up on one of them.
I would have liked to ride a fair bit more. Something around the neighborhood
of twelve hours. Instead I lost 12 pounds. Ok, not really. But it feels
like it.
Since I was not up to drinking, and I have the biggest car of all the
boys, I became the designated driver. Fine by me. Get me out of the
house. So, in two nights in Tucson I believe I witnessed the two finest
sound men in the business. Or, as my man Schooly D put it, "Just yesterday
this guy was cleaning bathrooms."
In short, it was un-fucking-believable. The second night was worst
than the first. Snarl, crack, pop, there go my fucking ears. I've not
heard anything quite like it in my life. Just God-awful feedback and
pain. I heard all of two and half song before retreating to the relative
safety of the Tap Room.
And be still my beating heart, Tucson runs high on talent. Nothing
against Flagstaff's bevy for mountain muffins, but damn. The warm weather
treats the ladies right.
And it is a sight to behold.
Some links:
[fun] homestarrunner.com/sbemail141.html
[bush] time.com/time/magazine/article/...html
[wtf] cloneawilly.com
[men] news.yahoo.com/science_revenge
[insane] thedenverchannel.com/news/5068195/detail.html
[mouse] cnn.com/2006/US/01/08/mouse.fire.ap/index.html
[game] transience.com.au/el/elgameo.html
[ride] fatcatbicycles.com/hammermike/index.php
From cyclingnews.com:
AEG-Toshiba-JetNetwork Pro Cycling Team, a US Continental team based
in Athens, Georgia, has announced its sponsors and roster for 2006. Known
as Aerospace Engineering Group-VMG in 2005, the team rose to prominence
in its first year in the professional ranks when Serbian Ivan Stevic led
the team to several results. Building on last year's success, the team
will expand its roster and support staff with the help of an increase
in sponsor commitment.
Included in the 2006 roster are Kona-sponsored MTB racers Ryan Trebon
and Barry Wicks.
The full team roster is as follows:
Emile Abraham (Tri), Chris Deluise (USA), Chris Frederick (USA), Esad
Hasanovic (Scg), Nebojsa Jovanavic (Scg), Eric Keim (USA), Bruno Langlois
(Can), Viktor Laza (Scg), Hugh Moran (USA), Eric Murphy (USA), Keith
Norris (USA), Prokic Predrag (Scg), Jake Rubelt (USA), AJ Smith (USA),
Frank Travieso (Cub), Ryan Trebon (USA), Barry Wicks (USA) and Greg
Wolf (USA). Managing Director is Ravi Rajcoomar.
And yes ladies, that would be DC's own Jake "The Snake" Rubelt.
Ah hell.
| |
From: Vonni
Subject: Boonen=mulletboy
WTF Boonen may be a card carrying badass and cute as hell. But what
is he doing sporting a mullet... velonews.com/race/int/articles/9375.0.html
Could the peleton be missing Brochard that much. You figure with
that finish line flair he would have a really nice haircut. |
I guess you win a few races and you just don't give a fuck?
Not like I'd know. I've never won shit.
| |
From: Pistol Pete
Subject: Reina de los Caimanes
Have been in the capitol of crocodiles. It's spooky. The eyes show
more intelligence than the other tourists'. Still haven't found
Crocodile Queen. The riding here is phenomenall. Did ride last night
to sound of jungle birds calling cross canyon. The spiders here
have blue eyes...
Please avoid TV,
Tio Pistol |
I can avoid tv okay, it's the sauce that gets me. Well, that and chocolate
covered pretzels. What do they put in those things, crack?
I sent in my Leadville entry. I'm not sure why I do it. I guess it
just can't be helped. At this time of the year, middle of winter, when
the fitness is non-existent and the motivation at rock bottom, it's
hard to imagine riding as fun. But it is. And it will be.
Jackass was talking with a runner who declined to put in for the Wasatch
this year. And the day after the deadline, he said he felt so damn bad
about it. He was filled with regret.
I guess it's better sometimes to just send them the fucking two bills
and know you can go if you want to. Then if it all goes to hell, you
can stay home anyway. But it's your decision.
That peace of mind alone is well worth two hundred.
Makes perfect sense, if you're as crazy as me.
And I'd bet dollars to donuts most of you are.
Yaaaa, out of town. Yaaaa, tons of email. Yaaaa, tons of DC store orders
to stuff into envelopes. Yaaaa, cold beer in the fridge. Yaaaa, pull
and update out of my ass.
Did I mention my ass?
Good.
More on that one later. And when I say later, I mean now. For lunch
on Friday I thought eating out sounded like a good idea. Something a
little different than the usual peanut butter sandwich I bring with
me to the office. Live a little. Get out and see the world.
Yeah right.
My girl had a burger. I had a salad. I'm watching my figure. By later
afternoon I'm not feeling well. At all. In fact, I'm feeling pretty
much downright miserable. I get home about ten till six and puke up
the salad. I'm having fun with both ends if you catch my drift. I want
to die.
What's the worst part about puking up salad? When I was washing up
in the sink afterwards, I took a look at myself in the mirror, I had
a piece of lettuce in my teeth.
I damn near puked again right then and there.
Lucky for me I was too busy pissing out of my ass to bother with that
nonsense.
Seems the Chicken Quesadilla Explosion Salad (1170
cal/78 g fat/9 g fiber/68 g carbs) at Chili's is a near death experience.
When I drove down to Tucson later that night with Big Pun, he told me,
"Well what the fuck did you expect from something called 'explosion'?"
Well, I can tell you what I didn't expect…
Other fun highlights of my weekend included, but are in no way limited
to: My phone call to Sadcow at 9:00 am Sunday morning.
"Did I wake you?"
"No."
"You sound like you were asleep."
"I was."
And so it goes.
[legend] frankwykoff2.com/john_sinibaldi.htm
[fun] laweekly.com/ink/03/42/open-mikulan.php
[armstrong] velonews.com/news/fea/9390.0.html
[band] suburbanhomerecords.com/bands.php?band=stereotyperider
[cool] cycloc.com
[fucked] articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?...
[cool] pistolwimp.com
[fucked] bikeportland.org/2006/01/13/cyclist-sues-trimet
[fucked] wired.com/news/privacy/0,1848,60489,00.html
[biker down] dailynexus.com/news/2006/10618.html
[more] newspress.com/Top/Article/article.jsp?
[and more] dailynexus.com/news/2006/10608.html
My heartfelt condolences to Kendra Payne's friends and family.
Anyone else who read those last three links having a hard time with
the line she "lost control of her bicycle"? Anyone else think that's
horse shit?
It's always the cyclist, isn't it? Always the cyclist who lost control,
was in the wrong place, made the error. The truck/car/tank/suv was just
driving along (jda), passing in a safe manner, and the spazzo cyclist
freaked out and rode straight into the side or the trunk/car/tank/suv.
Fuck that shit. That's not how it goes down. People don't "lose control"
and fall under the wheels.
People get hit.
And the system just lets it happen. Over and over again.
Time to lighten the mood a little bit. I'm getting my blood up over
here. Another funny from this weekend which I may or may not have just
made up:
"My name is T.C. And I'm a lifelong learner."
T.C. aka "Tickles". Don't ask me why. And don't tell me either. I really
don't want to know.
| |
From: Snake
Subject: Training Camp
Dude check it out. The Gord Frasier
of Flagstaff rules in Athens GA as well. East coast, West Coast,
it don't fucking matter baby.
winterbikeleague.com/jml/index.php?
Don't worry, I got it wrapped up coast to coast. |
One more and I'm out.
| |
From: Tall Todd
Subject: hello!
Egypt. We are now 4 days into Tour d'Afrique and everything is good
on this end. Apologies as this keyboard is screwed up and I don't
have time to fix it. We are camping on the Red Sea coast this evening.
I have been able to ride every single day so far. At the moment,
I have been riding as the "broom" at the back of the race. While
the pace has been enjoyably slow, it means I have spent all day
baking in the sun and getting to camp at dark. Which is not leaving
me much time to take care of stuff at camp for repairs. We have
had two favorable days with short distances and powerful tailwinds
coming off the Red Sea, so most everyone is in fine spirits. The
short day gave me time to take care of the necessities, like a
shower and washing clothes in a bucket. I was also able to knock
out a mess of repairs. Only one serious accident so far. A S.
African woman was brushed by a truck and her front wheel was crushed
under one of it's wheels. I spent an interesting afternoon going
in to town with Captain Islam, commander of our police escort,
to hunt for a spare wheel. He was singing along to the Eminem
and 50 cent that was blasting out of his Jetta wagon, in perfect
English. Of course a replacement Mavic rim was not found.
The trip has been great so far. Most everyone we have met has
been friendly and welcoming. It seems the English phrase that
everyone knows and loves to say is, "Welcome to Egypt".
As this keyboard is hurtin', I will sign off here. Hope all
is well on your end. |
Hey yeah, Thursday. Can't wait for Friday.
I'll be in Tucson this weekend. So "Mr. Z" better look the fuck out.
I'll be sucking his wheel till I blow his fucking doors off at the shoot
out. Then, once we make the turn off University (approx .5 miles into
the ride) I'll turn off and recover for about 8 days.
Maybe I'll suit up like the Wolf in all his fruit salad splendor and
dive bomb out of trees on the backside somewhere. Does that guy maintain
a series of plywood ramps out in the bushes? Sure seems it to me.
Enough of this drivel. It's late and I'm a fucking lazy sack of shit.
Since there is a "chance" of snow on Sunday, it's time for me to bail.
I can't wait to put on some sunscreen and work on my tan.
Hey, if you aren't fit, the least you could do is look nice. That's
my goal and I'm sticking to it.
Linky linky:
[fucked] americablog.blogspot.com/2006/01/americablog-just-bought-general-wesley.html
[theatre] phillytheatrereview.com/resources/picsoflily.html
[miners] corpwatch.org/article.php?id=13042
[ghost bike] villagevoice.com/blogs/powerplays/archives/002304.php
[fire] cnn.com/2006/US/01/08/mouse.fire.ap/index.html
That's it, I'm outta here.
I hope none of you boy and girls are caught up in the fires
in Colorado. Because that really doesn't look like fun.
I figure most of the southwest will be burning soon. Just like friggin
Oklahoma and Texas are now. It's going to be ugly. We need snow, rain,
moisture of all shapes and sizes.
Hail will be much appreciated at the moment. Anything. Throw us a couple
of cubes, won't ya?
I had better get some riding in now while I can.
Today's link assortment for your viewing pleasure:
[fun] posttypography.com/hahafooledyou
[nice] cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/11/schwarzenegger.license.ap/index.html
[list] aaronsgayinfo.com/AlphaMenu/Sterms.html
[court] cartoonbox.slate.com/hottopic/?image=21&topicid=30
[team] fetishcyclesracing.com
Jake Rubelt, the Gord Frasier of Flagstaff, was greeted by the actual
Gord Fraser as such recently. It's the kind of thing that makes ya smile.
At least me anyway.
I need to start participating in more events like this.
I mean, really. I do.
Hoo boy, got a nice four hour mountain bike ride in on Sunday. Too
nice. It's friggin January up at 7,000 feet. There should be snow. And
a lot of it.
Instead we got smooth trails. Dry trails. Scary nice trails. They should
be covered with three feet of snow right now. I shouldn't be able to
see any of it.
But instead, I'm riding it. It just ain't right.
My man Nic suggested lighting the forest on fire now and just getting
it over with. It's going to burn this summer anyway. May as well get
started. Maybe if we torch it now, they'll keep it open all summer?
Because the way things are going, we're going to have one fucked up
fire season.
Today's link assortment:
[blog] steelbitch.blogspot.com
[time fuck] wimp.com
[delay] talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/007391.php
[o'reilly] datelinehollywood.com/...oreilly-blasts-obrien-for-allegedly-making-dirty-phone-calls
[rude pundit] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-plus-four-months-part-1
[rude pundit] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-plus-four-months-part-2
[rude pundit] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-plus-four-months-part-3
[rude pundit] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-plus-four-months-part-4
[rude pundit] rudepundit.blogspot.com/2006/01/katrina-plus-four-months-part-5
[bush] slate.com/id/2134029/
I couldn't agree more.
Three hour ride today in the wind and it sucked. I suck. It all sucks.
Fuck. I was trying to keep from burying myself, that whole "ride consistent"
thing. Yeah. Great. Worked out well. Kept looking at my heart rate and
saying, holy shit!
You know, it's true what they say: It's easy to go hard, and hard to
go easy.
They weren't fucking kidding.
Talked to Snake today. He rode 120 miles in Tucson. It was 85 when
I called him. Me, I was having trouble seeing straight at the time.
'Cause it went so easy for me today.
Oh, I am one fit bastard at the moment. It's like that.
Here are today's fine links, in no particular order:
[test] mountainbikemilitia.com/stuff/headshok.html
[cookies] news.com.com/Congress+hands+caught+in+the+cookie+jar/…
[proctor] onespeeder.com/2006/01/06/the-napkin-monologue
[race] cutthroatracing.org/content/view/1/2/...
[vid] russianhillroulette.com
And some mail:
Right on. Do what you can, when you can.
| |
From: Lisa Lisa
Subject: New Scan....Fellow Females BEWARE };-)~
This new scam is being pulled mainly on women who are past the age
of giving a running pursuit. What happens is that when the intended
victim stops at a red light, an almost NUDE, really good looking,
tanned, well-hung, muscled young man comes up to her car and pretends
to wash the windshield.
While he is doing this, another young, handsome athletic man
opens the back door of the car, jumps in and insists the woman
drive off with him to some lonely spot, where he has his way with
her.
They are very good at this. They got me three times Friday
and five times Saturday. I couldn't find them on Sunday. |
Oh Lisa Lisa, you are so unlucky. How ever do you manage to walk and
chew gum at the same time?
| |
From: Husky
Subject: Husky Midget
Jonny von Franzwhiler,
As you already know, people would think I were sick if I didn't
send you those periodic e-mails that karate chop your adams apple.
I like to call them peanut butters. If you've ever been karate chopped
in the adams apple, it feels like you have a big nutty chunk of
peanut butter in your throat. I just have to kick you over my two
cents. Nobody gives a rats ass what kind of computers you have,
how many, what color they are, and how they blend so nicely with
your titty pink drapes in the spare bedroom. All we want to know
is how drunk you are, how miserable you are, how miserable your
angry friends are, who's riding when and where, and who's been pissing
all over local bars. That's it, pretty simple. Oh, we also want
to hear about people puking in cars, on bars, or on the handlebar
tape (grips too I guess). So take a video of you smashing your computers
with a 10# sledge, then get a 10 year old taiwanese boy to handle
all your e-mails, up loads and chode loads. Now the site should
look a little as we all would expect. This will free you up to focus
more on world domination - as you should. Soon we can start filming
staged car wrecks - cause no one needs cars anyway. So unless you're
thinking of changing your site name to "drunkCPUgeek" get back on
track bastard. Thanks.
P.S. 24 hours of old pueblo will be off the hook. There will
be a Robertsdrunk on board. We're flying in the mongoose for a
parade in the pueblo. |
Good news, Robertsdrunk is finally going to turn a pedal in anger at
the Old Pueblo.
And fuck you Husky.
| |
From: Uncle Pistol
Subject: the alternative spanish dictionary
bajar al pozo: to eat pussy note Cuban usage. Ex: A Pedro le gusta
bajar al pozo. Translation: Pete likes to eat pussy.
So, just when I'm startin' to REALLY mis Az. I find a reason to
continue |
The SSWC 2006 is to be in Stockholm, Sweden.
Info: surlybikes.com/surlyblog.html
dirtragmag.com/forums/...
Hey look, it's Friday. And not a day to soon. A week like this, you
just love to see end.
The install-a-new-drive episode had some to a close. More or less sorted
out. Now it's just the little things that need fixing and tweaking.
I took the Big Punisher out last night for dinner and drinks. It's
the least I could do.
I ate a burrito the size of my arm (w/ rice, beans and a chilli relleno
of course) and had about a pitcher of margarita to myself. I was so
uncomfortably full I had to unbutton my pants.
Really.
I sat around at home for about an hour after I got back, just suffering.
It's now 6:30 am and I'm still full. Looks like I won't be eating breakfast
today.
On to the links:
[fun] nytimes.com/2006/01/02/arts/television/02stan.html
[cello] wandertec.com
[pro] nyvelocity.com/content.php?id=526
[wal-mart] corpwatch.org/article.php?id=13041
[letterman] forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=155601
And a few emails. Most of these are a few days old now, from the 2nd.
But, my machine wasn't exactly working on the 2nd, so I'm posting
them now.
DC = a day late and a dollar short. Again.
| |
From: Big Pun
Subject: Lynn Swann and etc.
Jonny,
The Gnome, Precious, and I were watching the Sugar Bowl at Chop's
house tonight (good game, UGA almost came back from 28 down) Consolations
to Chop in her loss. There will be no UGA in Sugar this year). But
back to the point of the matter.
Lynn Swann is reporting on the sidelines, as per usual during
ABC's BCS coverage, and all of the sudden the booth guys start
wishing him well in future endeavors. Precious guessed public
office, I guessed NFL assistant coach. I was wrong. Really fucking
wrong. Look who is making a run at your home state!
draftswann.com/index.php
He ain't no Jessie the Body or Arnold the Governator, but shit,
he is still wildly under qualified. Thankfully, this is listed
as the number 5 reason to draft Lynn Swann to Governor "A Conservative
- Pro-Life, Pro-Sportsman, Pro-Family" Fuck yeah, doesn't get
much better than that. Lots of kids with lots of guns.
Game on!
-Biggus Tickelus Punnus IV |
Yeah, I don't really know what to say about that. I'd be surprised
if he did well.
| |
From: Mark
Subject: New Years Day ride, worst group ever!
So I show up for a Jan 1 ride held by a new local "roadie" shop
here in Tucson. The guy on the phone says the ride rolls out at
8am. As per my usual anal retentive self, I'm there at 7:30 with
my coffee in hand ret to go! I roll up and give a "happy new year
ya'll". Not a single response from anyone.
I start to check everyone out and see nothing but cat 5 world
champions on full carbon euro rigs with names I still can't pronounce.
Everyone had shoe covers that matched their knee warmers that
matched the bibs that matched the jersey that matched the vest
and they all were Ipoded up. We sat there for 10 minutes before
we finally hit it...not a word spokin. Not much of a group ride.
"Oh well" I thought, It's just another ho hum day in paradise
and at least I get to ride today. The group rolls out with absolutely
no togetherness whatsoever, pointing out leaves on the road while
running into potholes. By this time I'm already thinking that
I coulda been out on the single and that I've seen happier people
in detox but what the hey, let's give them a chance. Once we hit
Mission road, the mess in front of me just opened up like the
red sea for Moses and some one signals as if were my turn to pull.
"Nice" I thought. I'll just cruise and do a good job up front
and maybe they'll loosen up. That's when this couple on what had
to be a $25,ooo tandem pulls along side and says " you think you
could keep it at around 19mph". I look down at my computer and
saw that I was clipping along at a UNBELIEVABLE 20 mph. "Did you
just ask me to slow down 1 mile an hour?". "Your kidding right?"
I asked. I was just waiting for them to give me the most classic
roadie excuses when bang, there it was, "Today is our easy day"
they shouted.
I started to think, at 20 mph, what would Bobke do in a situation
like this. I can't recall ever reading that he had an easy day.
Realizing that the 25k tandem couple had never stopped talking
to me about their training schedule, I tuned back in just in time
to hear them say " If you feel you need to ride a bit harder feel
free ...... and before they could finish I was off and riding
all by myself. A quick left onto Ajo and Gates Pass here I come.
The next 2 1/2 hours was perfect. Not a soul in site and they
just repaved...heaven! I still haven't quite figured out who was
the pretentious asshole on this ride, me or them. I guess I'll
take it. Suits me as long as I never have to ride with those idiots
again! Fuck roadies!
Happy New Year Ya'll, Go ride and be nice! |
Ah yes, the "all to serious" group ride phenomena. I've witnessed it
myself. In many a town, with all kinds of people.
Tucson has one hell of a road bike culture. Arguable the finest in
the entire state. Local pros, big group rides several days of the week,
plenty of high end shops. But it also has its downside. And ugly downside.
Pro posers, arrogant bike shop staff and shitbags who treat the Tuesday
morning rides like the fucking World Championships.
Just about par for the course, ain't it? I mean, from what I've seen,
it's like that everywhere you have local pros, big group rides and high
end shops.
Regardless, I'm heading south next weekend. Time to put Mr. Z. in his
place.
Yeah right. The only chance I have of beating up on that guy is to
work out some kind of multi-event competition where I can throw away
the bike point that I will invariably loose and gap him on wood-splitting,
keg-hauling, piano-lifting and scotch consumption.
Only then would I have a chance in hell.
| |
From: Hank
Subject: Fun time in Flagstaff
My roommate and I just got back from a two-week road trip, the highlight
of which was the two days and two nights we spent in Flagstaff.
We rolled into town about 3:30 Friday afternoon and burned up
a couple hours checking out the downtown scene, which was pretty
damn cool. Eventually we parked ourselves at Flagstaff Brewing
to wait for my roommate's buddy Alex, (our local connection) to
get off work. Having been cooped up in the truck for two days
of ass-and-brain-numbing driving, I was in rather rowdy, ornery
mood. I began sampling the local brews in rapid succession, deciding
the Grinch was my favorite, coming back to it to wash down the
massive burger and fries I had ordered, hoping it would give a
good absorptive base for the evening's drinking.
Alex shows up, we have a few brews and head back to his place
to re-group. I am adamant about paying homage to Pay-N-Take. It
is our first stop out on the town. Walking in and checking the
place out, I am struck my a sense of irony: We have an establishment
on Dickson St., Roger's Rec Room, that operates on the same principle,
but instead of being hip and swank, it is low-ball and sleazy,
the place you go to get your meth hook-up. When my brother and
his redneck fraternity buddies came down to visit, they stepped
inside, took one look around and stepped right back out, deciding
it was too rough a joint for them. We had ourselves a great time
at Pay-N-Take. I got buzzed enough to start initiating random
conversations, asking around about drunkcyclist.com and Big Jonny
and ran into a few folks familiar with both. But alas, Big Jonny
himself was not there for us to bask in his presence. One of the
most interesting of these random conversations was some dude who
immediately took me for big time drug-runner. "So you guys movin'
a lot of quality bud?" he asks in the second sentence of our conversation.
"No," I demure, "We're out and didn't want to risk the heat."
I had to make up something to uphold his lofty opinion of me.
I made some small chat about how Flagstaff seemed a cool town,
but he told me he was too rasta for it.
Luke and Alex soon decided they had had enough and were going
home. I was feeling nothing like that. Alex gave me directions
back to his place, which I was sure I would forget and set out
to explore Flagstaff's bar scene. Returning to Flagstaff Brewing,
I met a blond-haired chick named Kate who claimed to know Big
Jonny. I followed her around for the rest of the night, peppering
her with drunken conversation and witty, sloshed insights. She
told me she works as a psycho-analyst in an emergency room or
something like that, so I suppose she is used to dealing with
types like myself. I managed to make the rounds of several bars,
though the only other one I can remember is the Monte Verde. The
biggest surprise of the night was that I walked straight home,
with nary a wrong turn. The next night, much more sober, I had
the damndest time finding my way home.
Saturday we loaded up to head for Sedona. Alex was going bouldering
with friends, Luke was going to take pics, and I was going riding.
The bajallion and one switchbacks going down Black Oak Canyon
weren't the greatest on my hangover, and we had to pull over midway
through for me to spew last night's alcohol and the morning's
breakfast. Fun times.
By time I started riding, I was glad no one had responded my
frenzied message-board inquiries for riding partners. After not
riding for several months, I sucked. Big time. For awhile, I was
doing about as much riding as walking. Fortunately, by the end
of the day, my riding skills were back up to a half-way respectable
level. I was the goon out there in cut-off Carhartt capris and
Serria Nevda Jersey trashing around on a old Gary Fisher if any
happened to spy an out-of-place Arkansas hippie. I really felt
like a pussy when I met several singlespeeds on the trails I was
wheezing my lungs out on.
Luke and Alex stayed in that night, but I had to make another
cursory pass through the bars. Alcholic's duty or something like
that. I was hoping I would run into this Kate chick again to pester
her, but evidently one night of my boozy presence was enough.
We left early the next morning for Durango, and that was the
end of our Flagstaff experience. My biggest regret was that I
didn't score and Pay-N-Take memorabilia. Guess I'll have to check
out their website.
I envy you lucky buggers who live in Flagstaff. Hopefully I'll
make it out there again. Locked and Loaded,
Hank |
Good old Pay'n
Take
I can't recommend much better by way of Flagstaff. Regardless if it's
9:00 am or 9:00 pm, it's the spot.
Holy shit I am tired. I was up till 2:00 am sorting out this new hard
drive, loading software and coping stuff off my back up external drive
- thank god for that purchase. Saved my ass it did. Then I was poking
around in the old crapped out drive, trying to back up all the work
and DC related email stuff. Man, they don't make it easy, do they?
No they do not.
You'd think you could just drag and drop a few folders and you'd have
all your messages, email addresses, preferences, folder settings, message
filters and the like.
But no. It doesn't work quite like that.
The upside is I have a brand new 40 gig drive for $139.99 and a whole
lotta headache.
One thing you folks have got to check out is the
2nd Annual North American Hand Made Bicycle Show
Some links:
[video] video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5676012956512384817&q=lottery+tivo
[fu h2] katu.com/news/story.asp?ID=82188
[read] opednews.com/
[read] velonews.com/news/fea/9345.0.html
[race] topofusion.com/azt/race.php
I could see doing that last one. Looks like a good time to me. Of course,
I will totally die.
Maybe that's why it's so appealing?
God damn, I love me some computer. Fuck these pieces of shit. Hard drive,
schmarve drive. Who needs it.
Well, apparently I do. Good thing I've got this old HP Pavilion n5190
sitting in the closet. I've only had to load ms office and dreamweaver
to make it sorta functional for the tasks at hand.
And that would be making money at the jobby job and working on drunkcyclist.
In that order.
Thanks to all of you that checked out the DC
store. I appreciate all the orders. And now that I've got the backup
laptop clicking along I can start filling orders.
I knew something was going to tank as soon as I flicked the lights
on. I just thought it would be the store, the gateway, the shipping
module, or something besides my A Number One laptop.
She gave up the ghost on me. Up and quit. Kicked the bucket. Done fer.
Gone. Pushin' up daisies. It's a good thing a new hard drive isn't all
that expensive. It's a few bucks, sure, but it's not like I'm looking
at dropping a grand and a half on a new machine. I was just a bit worried
about getting bent over the barrel on this one. And good think I can
coerce my man Big Pun into helping me with the install.
When I say "help", I mean "do". How 'bout some links:
[casino jack] tpmcafe.com/story/2006/1/4/10942/26628
[wolcott] jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/01/too_many_creeps.php
[hummer] ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI…
[bike] de.fishki.net/pics8/30_podborka_25.jpg
[philly] phoenix.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/119544375.html
The best part, really, is writing this shit in word doc and not having
any idea when I'll actually be able to upload it.
Real feel good shit right there.
Happy Damn New Year.
There. I said it.
It's that time again, when I start talking about the Old Pueblo. You
should be used to it now, I mention it every year 'round about this
time. It's a kick ass event. One you should not miss.
Trust me, this one is fun.
So, what else is new? Well, I saw Stereotyprider
last night. And they rocked. They always rock. Even if the sound is
shitty and they have to wait ten minutes for the mics to get sorted
out.
I'm not complaining. I thought they were rad.
Today's big news: The drunkcyclist
store is now live. Yes, you can now order your very own drunkcyclist
gear.
Happy happy, joy joy.
New Years Haiku over at rude
pundit
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