If you stumble across someone’s stash spot what is the correct etiquette?

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Welcome readers! 





In this virtual world of rapid eye movements, where folks cruise the boulevards of social media, there are increasingly fewer quiet moments. A lot of our time is taken (and I do mean taken) up by cramming our optic nerves full to the brim with someone else’s adventure(tisement in lots of cases, but I won’t belabor that here). Who likes me? Who do the people I like like? Etc.

picture from @athomewithamysedaris
picture from @athomewithamysedaris

So, there is that. But and also, there are really happy surprises available thru casting such a broad net. Like the time you “met” those people on a digital invite to bike tour and hoped you wouldn’t get murdered and then didn’t get murdered but instead had a great time riding stuff you didn’t even know was an option and it turned out fucking fantastic, even better because it was so unexpected. That is undeniable.

You may have noticed there are lots of “people” (don’t you get the feeling some of them are actually imaginary people? Like they are robots or so-called “algorithms”? beep beep bloop) who hype themselves as experts in the field of whatever it is in which you’re interested. And, fuck me, don’t they have a lot of new stuff- a lot of product- to display? They sure do. Anyhow, I like to pass myself off as expert in riding bikes and partying. I realize I should work on the shut up portion more, but SHUT UP AND PARTY is some words I try and live. It passes the time.

And some of my expertise is presented in the guise of the PARTY LOG. You know what I’m talking about. I promote that shit. Hard pushes. Full stop. Because it is fun. That’s a happy surprise to beat most. Form of…a PARTY LOG! And then there it is. A moderately well stocked bar just behind some random stump. Win win.



So, when I posted up a post on the DC instance grams of a seat at the bar in the woods, and @estrindaniel posed the question “If you stumble across someone’s stash spot what is the correct etiquette?” I was surprised. Surprised, and perhaps a bit curt, because it seems like such an easy answer. DUH. I thought. I replied, and I quote, “for real? #respect you help yourself to as much as you want up to and including all of it. Then, the next tine {sic} you roll thru you replenish the supply. #helpme #helpyou”. And then I continued scrolling.

That question seemed like an easy answer. But it has stuck in my head for some days now and I realize it is a profound inquiry with several answers. My glib reply was apt to the stash in the instant pictured, but not to any/all stashes. What if the stash is tucked up under some party log? Sure, but…What if the stash is cooling in a creek? What if the stash is in a cooler left behind at a swimming hole while the yahoos who left it there, and who fully expect it to be both there and stocked when they return from their hike with their noisy music and their buggy dogs to trouble the Good Spot, leave for, like, 35-40 minutes? What if the stash is under a trash can lid and you’re an asshole who doesn’t feel like giving any respect to anyone because you don’t deserve any yourself and you live in/around Monterey, California and you know exactly whose stash it is you are raiding and you feel slighted by that person and fuck them. What about these scenarios? What then?

Discuss. And listen to George Jones.

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9 Replies to “If you stumble across someone’s stash spot what is the correct etiquette?”

  1. It seems to me there is some kind of equation here for the mathly capable among us. I myself have no such power, but I think the variables would be something like proximity to traffic and quality of camouflage.

    I mean, surely if you leave something somewhere other people are likely to pass by and don’t hide it well enough, the stash in question deserves to be drunk. Right?

  2. No matter how big your crew is, never wreck more than half a stash. But your possie is probably properly supplied anyway; if so, why not add a little to the stash? You know, for the truly needy. It might be you one day.

  3. Mr. Gianni speaks truth. One time there was an easter egg hunt at a local ski hill, and I found an egg that was already empty, so I stuck a nice lil nugget of the dank in there, came back next run and it was gone. Har!

  4. Schrödinger it: take all or take nothing.
    Too many factors to be ethical I think.

  5. Looking ahead, we need some research on the appropriate type of beverage based on climate type. So far, only tequila holds up in AZ. Someone get on that.

  6. How about leaving a message in the stash?
    “Help yourself, please restock”
    “At least 6 beers must be accounted for at all times”
    “You win! The booze is yours”
    “Please, do not touch before 1.1.2018”

  7. Finding free booze is too much for me to even comprehend, so I don’t know the answer. I do know that in around 20 minutes I’m going to open an ice cold 16ouncer, drink it, shut down my computer, change, and ride my bicycle home from my office. Mmm.

    On another note, I’ve decided 16 oz. beers are the perfect size for cyclists. Trying to drink a 24 oz. on a bike, no matter how long you’ve put it in the freezer, almost always results in too much wasted, foamy, warm beer at the bottom. 12 oz. is too small to do enough good. But 16, I can get through that on a ride, it stays cold, and it’s neither too much nor too little.

  8. I thank god every time I’m out with my friends that none of them are smart phone freaks. I’ll look around the bar and almost every other table is a group of people all looking at their phones are jamming them in someone else’s face to see something. All of us use our phones, but when we’re drinking, we just shoot the breeze and have a good time. I’m lucky to have such solid pals.

    Also, you should check out a recent New Yorker article on the “van life” craze. Basically exposes the folks as a total front, people are not nearly as free as they act. I increasingly see this shit in the cycling world. “We’re cool. We don’t give a shit. We like bikes. We like riding. Blah blah blah.” And all the while they’re trying to sell you placed products and sell you what THEY think cycling should be/look like. Come off it.