10 reasons why riding bikes beats driving cars

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  1. Because you can fart without having to live with the consequences.
  2. Takes less time to get home after work. 
  3. Saves money for cool stuff, like beer. Only fill up the car maybe once every month in a half. 
  4. Because people complain when, on a whim, you abruptly divert your car from the street to ride a sweet stretch of single-track.
  5. Because the Beer Hammock isn’t comfortable in a car seat.
  6. You can ride past that long line of cars waiting for a pump at the Kum & Go, yell, “I’ve got your gas right here!” and fart. But you gotta ride real fast.
  7. Fixing a flat takes a lot less time.
  8. When you park a bike in your garage, you have plenty of room left over to accommodate all the other cool shit you own that isn’t a fucking car.
  9. Because these beers aren’t going to drink themselves.
  10. Because Fuck Rapha.


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About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

11 Replies to “10 reasons why riding bikes beats driving cars”

  1. Pingback: 10 reasons why riding bikes beats driving cars | PEDAL CANTON

  2. I have been using a bicycle as my main form of transportation since 2002, so this is awesome. I have access to a car, but only use it if I must.

    I really, really hate driving because the vast majority of drivers are total fucking assholes. And when they act like assholes it makes me angry and I fantasize about torturing them to death. I’d rather be happy, thus I try to never drive. I seriously think driving and putting up with all the assholes on the roads is the main reason the world is a shittier place than it should be.

    I ride to work daily. I ride for fun as often as I can. I ride everywhere.

    Oh, and #10 is awesome! I’m mainly a roadie, with some cross and mtn. But goddamn, roadies have traditionally been skinny clean cut dudes with their shit together. Rapha and a few other fuckers out there are bringing all these fucking dipshits with arm sleeves and beards into the sport. Or at least into their videos. Road cyclists should look like dudes from a shitty death metal band. Having hipsters everywhere is bad enough, I don’t need them riding bikes as well. Stick with your GTI.

    Even though I have a ton of money sunk into bicycles, it still would only buy a so-so car anyway. But yes, I’ve thought about how much money I’ve saved by not driving. Heck, when I was in my 20s I think I was able to live off something like $700 a month, with around 2/3 of that going to rent. Live music tickets, whiskey money, food, cell phone bill, rent, bike parts. I think that was the extent of my spending.

  3. @Ron,

    I’ve rocked a beard before there was a Rapha, like since 1975 (+/-), so fuck yez if you’ve got a problem with facial hair!

    However, applaud your stance in life.

  4. Hurben, My apologies. I have ZERO problem with anyone doing something because that is their style. I applaud individuality, style, and character. What I strongly dislike it people jumping on the cool train and doing something because it is suddenly “in.” That is pathetic.

    I don’t mind beards. I don’t mind tattoos. I just don’t like the guy who decided last week he needed both…so got a sleeve and grew a Unibomber beard. It’s a weak attempt to come off as edgy.

    I have never seen my father without a mustache…and I’ve been alive for three decades.

  5. Mikey. I am very lucky that I can live like this. I know many people MUST drive. I am not looking for any awards.

    It would just be fucking nice if people could at least put forth SOME effort to living more sustainably. I’m not asking everyone to go off the grid. I’m not asking everyone to burn their car. But jeez…just make a few little changes and we’d all be better off.

    Only drive when you need to. Walk or ride a bike. Never patronize huge global chain stores, whether food, bikes or furniture. Don’t take three showers a day. Etc.

    I try to just be happy, but there are just soooo many selfish assholes. For example, I live RIGHT ON a college campus that claims it’s “green.” My neighborhood is full of undergrads, grad students, and employees…not clerical, but doctors, lawyers, etc. Every single one of these fuckers jumps in a car to drive 0.5 miles to campus. We seriously couldn’t live any closer, unless we built our house in a lecture hall. And every one of these fuckers drives daily! I’ll watch the undergrads who live in group houses emerge one by one to all drive separately. It’s a 5 minute walk to the main campus drive, which has a BIG bike lane, a big walking lane, and a big driving lane. And they all drive. There are buses that run non-stop as well. But nope, they all drive separately.

    So…if young kids at an elite university have ZERO interest in doing anything slightly uncomfortable (walking!), how is there any hope for the world surviving? If the smartest of the next generation are still egocentric, selfish, polluting assholes, what hope is there for the country rednecks that live beyond city limits?

    It’s all so depressing.