Tuesdays with Dirty: Where ya been?

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This site was better with porn. Where is Big Jonny? Bring back the porn. You guys suck now. There isn’t enough new stuff on the site…

We hear it dozens of times per week. We get it, this web site used to have free porn along with a bunch of bike content. Now it only has bike content. But truth be told, if you have trouble finding free porn on the internet, you might have bigger problems (but click here to see how easy it is). It seems some people still read this site just to talk about the “good old days” which is totally fine. But after a while, it sounds like a bunch old men sitting around the coffee shop talking about how awesome they were in that one high school football game. Meanwhile DC keeps evolving, changing and moving forward. Thanks mostly to Cupcake’s work over on the facebook page, the DC army has grown leaps and bounds over the past year. So along with all of you that have been here longer than me, and the old complainers, we also have tens of thousands of people reading that have no idea that there used to be porn here. We even had a mutant chapter pop up in Romania! We couldn’t be more thrilled.

We do what we can when we have time to do it. If we don’t have anything to say, we don’t say it. More often that not, if nobody is posting on the site, it means that we are all too busy partying and riding our bikes to think about typing on the internets. Because, you see, DC is just a big old hobby for all of us (albeit a huge, all-consuming hobby just like playing ios games for money was before). But nobody is getting paid, nobody is paying the rent from t-shirt sales, and any cash we do make is put towards bar tabs and throwing parties at events. Sure, we could phone something in three times a week just to make content on the main page, but that’s not how we roll. Plus, you guys would see right through that and call bullshit so fast our heads would spin.

I went for a ride with Big Jonny the other day and we got to talking about all of this. We joked about how we get more emails and text messages from DC people than we do from our girlfriends/wives and family members. We also realized that BJ is 10 years old than me and that I am almost 10 years older than Cupcake. That is quite a spread and it makes for some diverse content. And we really like it that way. Everything changes, the internet evolves and web sites come and go. DC has been here a long time and we don’t plan on leaving any time soon. It might be a little different than it was 10 years ago, but it’s still DRUNKCYCLIST at the core. This shit is built to last.

We talk to each other just about every day, even though we are scattered all over the country. An ex girlfriend of mine tried to make fun of me and called it our “sewing circle”. Whatever. We are all friends here and we keep in touch to keep this whole shit show going. Lately, the guys in Colorado and Washington have been enjoying the coming of summer. Meanwhile, all us desert dwellers tried to squeeze in as much ride time as possible before the blast furnace of our summer hit last week. You will probably hear more from us now that it’s too hot to ride all day and boredom and booze have taken over.

Here is a little sample of what we have been up to:

I got out with Big Jonny for an old fashioned MTB death march. The guy still shreds.


Myself, S. Jesus, and Big Jonny. Trail talk.

Caveman sent me this pic the other day. Looks like he got in a fight with a brake lever and lost. At least he wore his DC socks to the hospital. You can follow his shenanigans on his Cavestagram.


Cupcake sends me a lot of pictures of sunsets and trail beers. He is such a romantic…and is incapable of riding a bicycle before 2pm


Scandinavian Jesus has been doing what he does best. Stomping the pedals and spreading joy


The Colorado boys haven’t slowed down enough to tale pictures lately. But you can follow D2 over on his D2stagram. As for myself, I have just been chillin’ in Northern Arizona a whole bunch. Sometimes you just gotta go fishing.


Keep it dirty…

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single women and single malt. Currently in Carbondale, CO Follow on Instagram @dirty_biker

51 Replies to “Tuesdays with Dirty: Where ya been?”

  1. Only been a reader for the past 6 months or so, so I don’t miss the porn, but sure do like the informative spots with descriptive pictures. Evolution is good, but keep to the basics – Ride Bikes & Drink Beer.

  2. All kidding aside, I dig Drunk Cyclist and stop by for a read once in a while. There isn’t a bike magazine out there that speaks to me. Here I feel like I’m getting the scoop from people I can relate to. Good on you for what you guys do.

  3. What the hell happened to the Hobbit, I mean the Gnome, or whatever hell his aka was (actually I’ve seen some results suggesting he kicking some ass on the trails. And whatever happened to the gal Judy I think it was?

    Dirty: I do thoroughly enjoy your travel shit. The Nepal thing was one of the more badass exploits I read of. You certainly put yourself “out there”.

  4. You know who I miss? Littlejar. Remember his post about the pot hole in Tucson? I think that was the most heavily commented post in DC history.

    I rode with Littlejar. He’s a thoughtful, sincere and gentle person, and a hoot to ride with through the city at night.

    And I never know what the HALE you Aridzonians are talking about, it was 57 degrees F at rollout this morning and I turned into a damn popsicle on the first big descent out of my neighborhood. The Trophy Bike turned 13,000 miles on today’s ride— every one of them perfect. Doora-Ace and crabon/crabon are the shizznit. I got fifty miles.

    Rubber side down, brothers and sisters. See you out there.

  5. Things change. Truf. Bell’s Two Hearted in cans is one of the best things evar invented.

  6. Shit man, all those old site archives you listed just brought me back to the good old days! That shit was so rude and fucked I have to go back and delete some history in the browser. I miss it, it has gotten (choke), civilized….

  7. I don’t miss the porn at all. It was the one thing about the old site I disliked. I do, however, miss the semi-regular updates. I definitely miss Jonny’s commentary on the Giro and Spring Classics.

    Regarding facebook, some of us hate that shit. Hate it. I know I am not alone it that. Most of my friends have either stopped using it, or cancelled their facebook accounts entirely. If your primary vehicle for communication is one that is at best, predicted to crater, (http://business.time.com/2014/01/15/more-than-11-million-young-people-have-fled-facebook-since-2011/) and at worst, a disincentive to many of your fans, I would definitely reassess your strategy. You are limiting your audience. I’m not completely antagonistic towards social media. I use twitter as a news aggregator, and I like instagram for the little windows it gives me into the lives of some of my favorite adventurers. Neither of those however, are effective tools for story telling or commentary, both of which DC excels at.

    Young blood is great (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShlIDGPVQzs). New voices and opinions are important. Contrary to popular opinion, we old(ish) guys out here want to hear what you have to say.

    But we can’t if you don’t speak.

  8. I find it hard to believe that you actually read the post…

    “Neither of those however, are effective tools for story telling or commentary, both of which DC excels at.” – if we don’t have any commentary or stories t o tell, we aren’t going to say anything. There are plenty of sites out there feeding you industry drivel and emptying their inbox and calling it content.

    pretty hard to “reassess a strategy” we don’t have. This shit is a straight up hobby. You think we have a 5 year plan focused on an IPO and early retirement?

    But here is the deal with the facebooks:

    Back when Juan Grande would post a video, picture, or small story it would be current and relevant news for days. Now, content goes so crazy and every bike site under the sun posting the same thing all within 12 hours of each other. With a majority of our traffic coming from mobile devices and with most people getting their “news” by swiping their thumb across their phone while taking their morning dump…I’d say things have changed. The internet has a short memory and shit becomes old news really fast. Social media isn’t going anywhere, any time soon. Twitter topples governments and facebook does things like make Specialized really angry at us. The facebook page allows us to get news, funny stuff, and give-aways to you in a much more timely manner and it is a compliment to the main site. I feel your pain, Gypsy. But on a global scale, you are an anomaly.

  9. I’ve began reading/commenting/whatever on this shitshow for 10 plus years and have loved every damn minute of it. The only part I miss is the ‘smallness’ in the day. Back then, there was a group of dudes that were faithful readers and commented accordingly. You could recognize names and with some, it felt as if we were friends. I fuckin’ love the fact that it’s gettin’ huge, but those days are missed….

    As far as the porn thing, I just hope I never pull up a picture of Big Jonny’s nutsack in an on campus computer lab again. Or anywhere for that matter.

    You guys keep workin’ the magic and killin’ it.

  10. >> Bring back the porn. You guys suck now.

    Would videos of them sucking constitute porn??

  11. Fan of this site for the last 5 or so years. Can’t say I miss the comment section after any of the content provided by littlejar but that van/rv project was kind of interesting. Either way I enjoyed reading the content then and enjoy it now. Thanks

  12. Thanks for the link Hurben. Of course I had to go back and relive the stupidity and waste even more of my time. That was the best (or worst) comment thread I’ve come across on the web. But I guess if you’re laughing, your time hasn’t been wasted.

    That’s what I miss most. The old days featured multiple comments that took on a life of their own, went off topic, came back on topic, meandered off into juvenile detours. Some grinch like gnome would threaten to shut down the comments which would just fuel the fire.

    Not that I don’t appreciate the original posters hard work. It’s just that life is too important to take seriously.

    And I still like turtles.


  13. Ain’t no one stoppin’ ya from commentin’ yer faces off boys! Get to it! Get us on topic, off topic, on yer mom, whatever whenever. Get in the fight!

  14. What happened to the Porn?

    Well, in an interesting example of how the universe operates, I was doing a rearrange of the Man cave this afternoon when I came across a copy of Mountain Bike magazine, (June 2010).

    This is not a magazine that I make/made a habit of buying so I flipped through it to find out why I bought it.

    In an article titled “The Drunk cyclist sobers up”, you can find out the reason that the porn was dropped as well as a renewed respect for Big Johnny & what he started.

    And Turtles are still cool!

  15. C’mon, you can’t leave us dangling with that last comment…. Do you have a scan/photo of that article for those of us without an extensive back catalogue of MB magazines?

  16. Another anachronistic, too busy already for yet another stop on the internet, old schooler, fuddy duddy, anti FaceBrag, ToolBook vote here.

    Might be the way for some, but it ain’t mine.

    Shit is the biggest, nastiest, most invasive of your privacy waste of bandwidth I can even comprehend, but hey, at least I know what some toolbox washed up ex-quarterback that tried to slam my head into a locker in high school had for lunch yesterday….

    Porn, whatever, yeah, it can be found elsewhere.

    But I come here, and see less content, less often because I have a life and choose not to spend my time on yet another time wasting site?

    It may bring numbers, and that may be cool, but hit numbers don’t necessarily mean quality viewers.

    All due respect, it’s a lot of work, and ya’ll have lives too, just can’t abide by the, “life is so much better with Facebook around” mindset.

    I’ll crawl back in my cave now and start banging rocks together so I can get the fire started, got some Pterodactyl to roast.

  17. best description of fb I’ve heard

    Might I suggest an O’Dell’s IPA. Lots of good IPA’s out there, but they really nailed this one.

  18. a man deserves a beer after spending an hour in 108 watching 40lb daughter just avoid being crushed by the many walruses, elephant seals and hippos masquerading as tatted up fat fuck adults who think the local city kiddie pool is their own personal wading pool

  19. Good site Mr Cyclesmith,

    You KFC that Pterodactyl but just be gentle with the Turtles!

  20. @ Hurben, thanks! I do use the interwebz for sure, very valuable tool….

    Turtles? Man, the snappers have been insane this year, they are everywhere. Almost hit one on a ride the other night.

    Trying to catch one is tough enough, and anything that fights you that hard once caught, probably deserves to live on as opposed to bein’ grilled.

    Besides, if they taste any way like they smell, can’t say as I’d enjoy it much.

  21. @mikey and Hurben

    Can’t agree with ya on littlejar as that pothole post was so epic I lost any sort of interest in him.

    It’s BGW I miss.

    The Turtle Gawd has spoken.

  22. @3T

    To be fair, L J wrote some really good posts here.

    L J was really passionate about saving the world but he had difficulty dealing with the fact that a lot of us took the piss out of him & baited him for a reaction.

    Yes, BGW is a serious loss to this site, man has an incredible history in this lifestyle that we love.

    I occasionally swap emails with him & I’m honoured that he calls me ‘friend’.

    Good to see all the old Turtle Pirates stumbling out into the sunlight, we just need Sparky to make it complete.

  23. I rode a couple of times with BGW, on the road in Marin County CA. He was fun, gracious and gave a good tour of his local stomping grounds, including hanging out on a bench in front to the natural foods market and checking out the hippie chicks.

  24. I’m heading out to the garage, to play with my bikes & to crank up Grateful Dead on the Stereo.

    Yes, that’s right, Stereo!, knobs & switches &, separate speakers & wires, non of this weak-arsed, iFuck, digital shit!

    Oh, & drink beer.

  25. Probably.

    But we’re doing pretty well down here at the end of the earth.

    & we’re fine with that, go visit that big chunka land to the west call Australia, all good, pretty much fucking everything can kill you.

    NZ is called GodsZone & I’m happy to be here.

  26. BGW seemed like a solid dude from the interactions I had with him. Where’d that guy disappear to anyway?

  27. BGW might be seen on BabbleOn’s blog straight outta Vansterdam BC, it’s called, like, “spoke’n’scene,” and may be on the local blog roll. Hell, I wouldn’t know, it would take me like three clicks to check, but I got six pints a Manny’s Pale Ale in me, aand I gotta tweak up the wife’s headset again. Serious. Stop that. I’m talking about a bicycle. Be wickin’ it up startin’ about tomorrow. Rubber side down brothers.

  28. @mikey

    “wickin” ?????

    I’m like 900 years old. Local slang freaks me the fuck out. Dafug does wicking mean ???

  29. “Wicking it up” refers to the practice of raising the wick in an oil lamp, making it brighter. You obviously don’t remember the days when light came from whale oil.

  30. Ah. Gotcha mikey.

    I remember those. Mom kept a couple around for the 42 times the power went out each year. But we called them Hurricane Candles. Remembering the tall spiraled glass that sat on top brings me home.

    I need to get out more often.

  31. i wore a pair of DC socks on my ride yesterday. it kind of felt like i was riding with an old friend.

    two years away from the site and i still get emails from readers. a lot of them have followed the progress of my bike shop too.

    i love the fact that gnome is coming to visit in august and he’s gonna hang out at the shop and ride trails with me.

    i also love the fact that i can still message dirty and ask him for advice on tires and shit.

    with all that said and done, keep on keeping on. somehow, someway, this site has had a positive impact on my life.


  32. Glad 2 CYA Judi, I always thought the Gnomer ran a pretty tight ship around here.

    I bagged sixty miles today, in sparkling sunshine, 70s and a fresh northerly breeze. THESE ARE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. Rubber side down, brothers and sisters. See you out there.

  33. @Mikey – ‘Tight ship?’ , man was like the troll under the bridge in the Three billy goats gruff!!.

    The Turtle Pirates in the mighty 300 epic showed him!!

    Good to see you back here Judi, it’s like a family reunion.

  34. Okay look, I don’t wanna spar here, but Mr. Gnome and I got along well. We communicated off-line and he actually posted, in sheer desperation, some of my drivel. I owe the man a beer. Or six. I’m hopin’ to get down to southern AZ next November, when it FUCKING SUCKS to live in Seattle. Long damn drive from here though, right Cavey? Crimoney. Sheet. Son of beech.

  35. this is a pretty sweet family reunion. Good to see all of y’all here. All we need is some BGW and Sparky to make it a real party!

  36. Fucking hell. I’m back! First visit in ages and in one post I find Hurben and Judi. Judi and Dom now running the best bike shop in the world (ok, wtf would I know) but it’s still the best, just a bit far for me.

    Ya’all might want to see freedomchallenge.org.za for where I’m at right now.

  37. …hey, did I miss anything ???…

    …I stepped out for a minute & something caught my eye & I got distracted…