Friendly Advice To A Lot Of Young Men

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Go to Tibet
Ride a camel.
Read the bible.
Dye your shoes blue.
Grow a beard.
Circle the world in a paper canoe.
Subscribe to The Saturday Evening Post.
Chew on the left side of your mouth only.
Marry a woman with one leg and shave with a straight razor.
And carve your name in her arm.

Brush your teeth with gasoline.
Sleep all day and climb trees at night.
Be a monk and drink buckshot and beer.
Hold your head under water and play the violin.
Do a belly dance before pink candles.
Kill your dog.
Run for mayor.
Live in a barrel.
Break your head with a hatchet.
Plant tulips in the rain.

But don’t write poetry.

That is good advice.

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About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

10 Replies to “Friendly Advice To A Lot Of Young Men”

  1. Bukowsi’s _Post_Office_ is wondrous. It’s so thoroughly depraved on every page, it’s easy to miss the fact it’s fucking capital-a Art.

  2. Goddamn. Best post in ages. I’ve done 10 of the things listed above. Not sure if that makes me an amateur, an ace, or a dumbass. Love me some Bukowski. Favorite quote (emphasis mine):
    “For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to DRINK BEER. We are here to KILL WAR. We are here to laugh at the odds and LIVE OUR LIVES SO WELL THAT DEATH WILL TREMBLE TO TAKE US.” ~Charles Bukowski


    Pretty much the way I have always rolled.

  4. @Dolak – Burroughs gives me the low down dirty tickle. I tape different quotes to the handlebars of my bikes. This one is on the Surly:

    “Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing.” ~William S. Burroughs

  5. I’ve always loved Tom Waits and thought Bono was a bit of a douche, but they both bring me to tears with their readings of The Laughing Heart and Roll the Dice, two of my favorites. Bukowski was an amazing human.

    “The gods wait to delight in you.”