Stuff Saturday

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Well it’s Saturday, just sitting here, slugging away at this coffee with a mild hangover (fuck you Lance), and the only thing to do is write about some products we’ve played with lately. I’m not much into the gizmos and gadgets, the push button stuff or things that blink, but when the lady friend wants a rub down with some cream, or a new fishing pole hits the shelves, some bad ass beer gets released or you found your 12 year old Super Soaker in the basement, who can resist that temptation? I sure can’t. So here we have it, some stuff for your Saturday.

1) Noxicare Natural Pain Relief 

Capture (1)Jo, from Omaha says, “After long rides, we love being rubbed down with Noxicare. The odorless, all natural ingredients penetrate our pores with such soothing pleasure, relieving sore muscles and preparing us for the next ride. If only we had strong men to help us apply.”

2) Fast Action Hander-up’er – $19.99


Some say it’s a fishing pole, some say it’s a sex toy, but what this bastard was manufactured for was to effectively and enjoyably deliver shit to cross racers, through and through. The 10 lb. line handled booze-soaked peeps, hot dogs, and double shots of Lord Calvert with nothing but a slight bend to the rod, and when them fish bit, them fish got fed. Pick one up at your local Farm and Fleet on your next ride out to the honey hole.

3) Lagunitas Sucks Brown Shugga Substitute Ale – 7.85 ABV


I don’t much get into the fine details of reviewing a beer like a lot of dorks. You know, with the Appearance, Smell, Taste, and Mouthfeel, but I do enjoy a good beer from time to time, or every day, multiple times…but who’s counting? By the way, what the hell is Mouthfeel? If it’s what I think it is, which I think it is, I don’t exactly know how that applies to beer drinking, but it seems gross. Anyways, this beer Sucks by Lagunitas is pretty damn fine for one of them hopper bombs. I don’t drink too much of them during the winter months, but I’ve gone through a couple six packs this week of this here Brown Shugga Substitute, so I guess that means it’s approved. You should probably check it out.

4) Super Soaker CPS 2000 – you can’t buy this


Sup raw power? Good to see you again. Summer might be over, but Super Soakin’ season ain’t. Does it ever end? Not while bike season is happening, and that’s the truth. This plastic hell raiser brings it, day in and day out, since the year 2000. Two fully-pumped shots of that thing will empty the whole tank. Definitely has massive soaking capabilities and slight pain factor if you get shot by it within close proximity. Pure, reliable, straight up power. Try with beer for increased stupidity. Two thumbs up from the idiots at DC.

5) Real Estate – Days 


Who can argue with the unlimited access to music these days? “Free” services like Spotify and Pandora make it easier than ever to discover music that tickles your toes. That happened to me this week when I came across this band, Real Estate. You see, I’m a very up and down kind of guy. Sometimes, it’s the right time for a banger. And other times, it’s just time to chill out, kick the feet up and catch a vibe. That’s what this album does. I read somewhere that these guys were so indie, just listening to them turns you into an Indian. I’m cool with that. Check it out, maybe even buy a song if you like them.

That’s all I have, time to go enjoy 35 degrees before it drops to seven. Tucson’s forecast isn’t looking too bad these days…


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About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

4 Replies to “Stuff Saturday”

  1. 100 percent agreement on the beer review. I’ve come to appreciate quality over quantity in my later years, but mouthfeel? Really? Leave that over-descriptive code bullshit to the wine tasting #*%$suckers. Unfortunately, appreciation of a good beer has become fashionable (read poser yuppie assholes trying to impress somebody with their vocab)

  2. Only a matter of time before some poor kid gets expelled from school and his nfamily ruined for life for bringing a squirt gun to school.