Stuff Saturday: Favorite Flasks

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Here at drunkcyclist it is our mission to carry some booze on every ride. Unfortunately most booze we prefer to drink comes in glass bottles, and that is just plain hazardous. There are a lot of different ways to carry  your medicine. You could just use your water bottles but they tend to leak and sometimes you want to go long and actually have some hydration. I have used various sized plastic soda and juice bottles in the past but they just make me feel ashamed. Hands down, the best container for carrying your booze is the classic hip flask. In use since the 18th century,no respectable drunk leaves home without one. Thorough years of hard work, practice ,and determination I have narrowed it down to three that I prefer over all others. The King Cage Mud Flask. the Nalgene flask, and the Stanley Classic.

Stanley is most well known for making a bomb proof thermos that will last generations and this flask is no different. The classic styling and color (Hammertone Green) is pure class and it is always a conversation starter. At 8 ounces it’s not the best if you are riding with a group but that is just enough volume for a long day on the trail with a special friend. The shape is a little odd which doesn’t allow it to fit in jersey pockets all that great, but it is usually what goes with me if I’m carrying a pack

The classic Nalgene flask. Everything you would expect from one of those bottles that “outdoorsy” people carry around everywhere but with a better shape and a top that doubles as a shot glass. Most notable is that this thing is tough. It has fallen out of my jersey pocket numerous times, been sat on, crushed in packs, and generally abused and it has never spilled a drop. The curved shape and extra height make this flask fit perfectly in a jersey pocket. It is also the biggest one I have at around 11 ounces and I found out recently that if you have two of them, you can carry exactly one bottle of Jameson

Hands down my new favorite booze holder is the King Cage “Mud Flask”. It’s 50% fender and 50% whiskey holder which ads up to 100% awesome. I have used King bottle cages for as long as I can remember because of their simple yet effective design and the fact that they are made by hand right in Durango, CO. The Flask is your typical stainless 8oz hip flask that you can get just about anywhere but the carrying system is what sets it apart. It fits right into a handmade cage that clamps to your seat rails that doesn’t rattle, come loose, or hit you in the back of the legs. The cage holds the flask good and tight and there is no worry of losing it on bumpy terrain. This thing is trail tested and Dirty approved. The only thing that could possibly make this cooler is if there was a Titanium option like their water bottle cages…

The only downfall of this design is that all my friends are constantly riding up behind me and grabbing my ass as they try to get my flask.

So which one should you choose? Damned if I know, that’s why I own all three. I figure either way you slice it you are winning since you are carrying a bunch of booze on a bike ride.

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single women and single malt. Currently in Carbondale, CO Follow on Instagram @dirty_biker

8 Replies to “Stuff Saturday: Favorite Flasks”

  1. I kindov like it when my friends grab my ass…

    Cheers, Dirty. I’ve long wondered the best way to bring the booze. Just one question… what is that THING on the skateboard beside the Stanley flask??

  2. Excellent topic on hip flasks. Gonna check out that nalgene flask today.

    My favorite recipe for disaster while stumbling or riding drunk around the city:

    1 hip flask filled with cognac (Hine is good, don’t be cheap-if it’s shit liqour going in it’s gonna be shit coming out)

    Purchase one LARGE cup of coffee.

    As you drink coffee, top off cup with cognac

    Stop immediately when any of the following occur: dead relatives beckon, copious bleeding from orifices or you find yourself fighting with the police whilst naked at 3 am

  3. Duh. It’s a plastic vagina. That one, you wind it up and it hops amusingly. Others have different functions but they are all amusing.

    I feel insulted that I was not referenced in this informative and worthwhile internet article.

  4. I never could really figure out what was the use for the blue plastic sleeve on the Nalgene flask. Any good ideas?