This last summer I bought into Strava to see what the whole thing was about. I ended up in 2 months putting 1100 miles of local single track on with my 29er. I was actually digging the whole deal until I blew my back out. When Cavey is injured for any great deal of time, trouble usually comes into place. So what I discovered was my Honda pit bike with 10 inch wheels can crush KOM’s around town- any hill climb, any single track and most of the downhills.
So for this next year, I am gonna be hunting down your KOM’s and crushing them on a kids bike!

first. just wanted to be a part of wherever this goes….
SILVER
Beautiful. I think this is a great idea!
Los
Mr. Ben Tobin,
Thanks for the heads up. We have now flagged your Strava Profile: http://app.strava.com/athletes/640238 for inappropriate use and specifically for violation of our terms of service.
Strive on,
Strava
big brother is everywhere
Dear Strava CEO: Why do you hate fun?
And now you know how Lance feels…..
So, gasoline is a Performance Enhancing Substance? Sweeeet!
My doc, Dr. Honda said we can still go over to Endomondo- they don’t drug test.
@04— BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh god that’s preciouser than SHIT!
Here you go Caveman. Watch this minute and change prior to getting on that motorized vehicle and you’ll crush all silly strava records “Stewart”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK6RZdb-Ooo
hack, that video brought tears to my eyes.
Dr. Honda told me to pin it to win it and don’t use the brakes.
Once you are in it you are in it, you have to go all the way to the end because you commit yourself to such a level where there is no compromise. You give everything you have absolutely everything. Sometimes you find even more because you require more if you want to stay ahead and you want to win.
Cavey, I gotta say, seeing the Strava CEO flag your account was the highlight of my day. Brought a tear to my eye. We’re doing it here at Drunkcyclist. We’re really doing it!
He scared himself on this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3nnAtVq74o
Unreal
Not gonna lie. I’ve thought about having my man strava my account through segments, so I can QOM. Only because I know I’ve ridden his ass through segments when strava wasn’t on and now I can’t QOM. But then I remember the internet doesn’t matter.
10 is the new 29
hmm….wonder what fun I can have on the beamer here in ColoRADo…an inspiration sir….
except fuck strava
Hey Buddhist, I want in on that action.
Oh, and let’s drink beers. This week. Belligerently, if possible.
dirty +1.
If I’m gonna jerk off to my computer, It is for sure not gonna be over ride stats. The winning feeling that I get from riding does not involve a computer.
Full Throttle Caveman!
Where da naked women folk at?
You can’t afford gas in my neck of the woods. No worries here up north.
Dear Strava CEO,
Your app still turns people into Stravassholes. Competition is fine, during a race. Quit encouraging people to take it where it doesn’t belong.
KTHXBAI.
el jefe.
First off Cave, nice recovery from yer last post.
Second, fuck ya! I hope this starts a revolution. People everywhere should fuck with strava cheating anyway possible. Cars, motorbikes, horses, atv’s anything. I see Strava as the great divide in cycling. It kind of reminds me of when some of my friends got into coke after being happy weed smokers for years. It just turned them into fucksticks overnight. It was like putting up the iron curtain. As more folks i know get hooked on Strava, there are fewer folks i want to ride with. Don’t get me wrong, i like hard and fast, but i way prefer competition in the here and now. I know, if i don’t like it, i don’t have to play it. But if i find myself with a Garmin, i’m gonna rack up a bunch of KOM’s anyway i can, and i don’t think i’ll be using my bike. And i’m not gonna post it so some Fuck with nothing to do can flag my Strava profile. Let the revolution begin!
ptbikepieman, thanks man. I reposted your comment…
I gotta admit I do like strava… But not as much as shenanigans! (Or beer)
Any weakassed bitch can twist a throttle.
“inappropriate use” of Strava? I didn’t know there was an appropriate use.
Why bother when you can edit your routes (runs or rides) in any GPS software by hand, export it and then manually import into Strava?
It’s all bullshit. I’ve done it by mistake when I forgot to turn on my watch and tben added a small bit by hand. It was quick…
Dear Stravahole CEO,
Your recent post has been flagged for inappropriate use.
This site is for folks with a sense (warped as it may be) of humor.
You and your worthless product can burn in the flaming abyss of hell.
Fuck Off Dickhole.
Sincerely
Your Mom
Between Strava, chocolate milk commercials, and you local nightly news, I can’t tell you which is more baseless and just plain stupid.
Joe…get a moto and bring it. The cross training for mountain biking is a great reason to ride a moto. The other reason is to get called a weak assed bitch by a key board juggernaut troll such as yourself.
D2, if you are able there is a little shred leaving from CO to rip Shredona over the Turkey shopping holyday. I can even arrange a squishy bike for you. ( any old bitch can ride a squishy bike ).
As for this week, lets try something this weekend, maybe even get two wheels involved. Did you hear Red’s are now only one years salary? So cheap eh?
Stravegotists deserve to be crushed by a kid’s bike. Crush away!
i hope somebody gets going with this here in colorado.
you’re doing the lord’s work, mr. caveman.
http://www.facebook.com/HenryChinaszki/posts/165467793595131
So. Fucking. Awesome. You guys rule.
Dear StravaCEO: Your product is sucking the fun out of too many rides. You might know that if you actually rode bikes instead of spreadsheets.
Dear Strava CEO, In an all consuming quest to break my local KOMs, I have hit rock bottom. Your product has forced me to sell off my prized basball card, pog, and porn collections to fund HGH, Testo cream for my sack, and a rusty syringe of what I was told is 99% Amgen EPO. After shaving seconds off of my ‘PR’, I recieved a text message from my boss notifying me of my immediate termination due my “casual” apperances at work and my compulsive, practice victory salutes during board meetings. My roid rage has now escalated to a boil-point of fury; my only outlet for calming my frustrations is to bust a nut in the hair of said CEO’s mother and then push her down the stairs.
Sorry, I think this is weak.
If you don’t like Strava, don’t use it asshole. You have a sad fucking life when you can’t live without stepping on other people’s fun. Being “Western as Fuck,” in reality, is about the time-honored ethos of ‘live and let live.’ Stepping on other people’s fun? Who’s got the ego now, you stupid shit? Was it your fapping hand that got broke? Is that why you’re so miserable?
DC has devolved. Really fallen off. Use to be a good spot to read good stuff from friends. Now it’s just sad. I’m kind of embarrassed that I was associated. I drop by here once a month when I’m bored and it just gets worse…posters and commenters alike.
Have fun, frat boys. You’re embarrassing yourselves in front of your old friends and riding family.
Actually, I like to think of my life as a bliss-filled ray of sunshine.
What’s with all the holier than thou, sanctimonious asshats coming out of the woodwork lately?
Jeezum Christmas, I thought this was the internet or something, not a goddamn prayer meeting…..
+1
Jeez, I’m usually the humorous one around here, but the last few days you-all have been a LAFF RIOT! I think I may have wet my pants— no wait, I just got back from riding in the rain.
I have been doing this for a while. I go and beat local KOMs on my CT by a small amount, wait to they get it back n repeat. I know some of the riders but they dont know its me screwing with them, great fun baiting them this way.
@32-Angry, as a matter of fact I used to ride dirt bikes back in the day, and am quite aware that one must be in pretty good shape to operate one at anywhere near its potential. Having said that, I rarely encounter such on my velocopedic perambulations. Indeed, my senses are routinely offended by the morbidly obese, piloting unmuffled Hardly-Ablesons. God, will someone please place a bounty on such as these?
I’m pretty much quits with gas engines in general, using them only in case of dire need. Years of working on construction sites, surrounded by noisy stinky gasburners, plus living in a town populated by troglodites who expound the “Ya gotta have a truck if you’re gonna be a man” point of view will tend to do that to a fellow. Thus I seek solace astride my wheel, hearing only its tyres on the ground. There, I can find peace.
“Any weakassed bitch can twist a throttle.”
Yup, and any 5 year old can turn a pedal.
Comparing dirtbikes to hardly-ablesons is like comparing giving someone shit to their face to giving someone shit on the internet.
Thus I seek solace astride my wheel, hearing only its tyres on the ground. There, I can find peace.
I hope we can all agree on this at least.
@46 +1
These last two posts are pretty tame compared to all the retards Caveman is living next to in the City of Spokane Valley.
@jon, I don’t agree with joe on much, but the list just reached at least three things: 1. Good whiskey 2. Good cheese 3. His last post. Gotta’ give the man his due.
I’ve had some pissing contests with joe but anyone who loves “Kind Of Blue” by Miles Davis can’t be all that bad. Considered by many to be the finest jazz album of all time. i would say it’s one of the finest albums of any genre.
And I agree with joe about bikes, motorcycles and trucks. I drive a concrete mixer. So i know all about shitty construction sites and the even shittier attitudes of the assholes who work on construction sites.
Love that term Hardly-Ablesons.