Hi guys, it’s Caveman.

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Well shit, seems like it has been a long time since I put down some Cavelogic so this is what I did today on this fine freaked out Saturday- product hating was something that was on my mind…

Foot trails signs aren’t what I like
It only took a few shells to turn the sign into a shelf.
Bye HEED and thank god.
energy that doesn’t give you energy
Energy well spent

My cell phone just happen to capture some of the hammer product getting blasted in video form, not that bad of quality considering its a cell phone.

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Have a great weekend fuckers, I am.

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About caveman

I am... Caveman. Spokane, Washington, USA

100 Replies to “Hi guys, it’s Caveman.”

  1. And the fucking point of all this is ?

    Besides showing that you have a shotgun & will happily irresponsibly use it.

  2. I’m on this side of the pond and I’m with Hurben.

    I can see skeet shooting or rustling out birds to try and hit but blasting away at a poor tree ?? Amateur.

    Funny thing about that is….I was a pro at skeet. Could hit every clay launched. But I couldn’t hit a bird if my life depended on it. My bro was the exact opposite. It was weird. We’d both walk away shaking our heads.

  3. …i’m with hurben on this 100%…

    …truth be told, cave, i’m usually a fan of stuff you post but i’m wondering what your fucking point is in senselessly blasting shotgun rounds into a live pine tree…

    …steal the goddamn sign if it’s that big of a ‘need’ for you, nail it to a piece of used board somewhere in a safe location & have at it…it’s your call if you wanna shoot the fuck out of your own belongings but this, this whole scene is fucking stupid…

    …i used to do some .357 pistol shooting at targets in a controlled outside environment so i guess i can understand the appeal firearms have for you but i look at those two vids & i’m thinking, son, on this saturday, you’ve got your head firmly planted up your ass…

  4. Dood,
    What were you thinking? Why is this on Drunk Cyclist?
    From what I can tell by the story and the pictures the following happened:
    Some dude took a gun out into an area where hikers are aloud to hike and was irrationally angry that in this particular area he is not allowed to ride his bike. He then pulled out the shotgun and used it to destroy a sign and some sports nutrition supplements and in the meantime violated several ordinances related to gun usage/public safety and the destruction of public property. In the midst of doing this he also needlessly damaged a living pine tree, also a public (and environmental) resource. He also apparently wasted food for absolutely no reason. Without any regard for the implications of what he had done, including the possible impact on trail usage by certain groups, he posted all of this on the internet and bragged about it.

    Am I missing something?
    Because if not, this should be taken down right away because it could have a damaging affect on both the reputation of this site and mountain bikers, as it could be used as evidence that they are either irresponsible, undeserving of consideration in trail use discussions, or frankly dangerous and irrational and clearly armed with shotguns.


  5. People who have/love/shoot/defend-the-right-to-own guns, and those who simply don’t “get” guns, are very, very different people at some fundamental level. Me? I don’t see the any point whatsoever in the post. None. So I am in the second category.

  6. its my tree on my land- If it dies from shooting a shotgun at it, then that tree is a weak piece of shit.

  7. Damn sons, he’s just a caveman, he stole the sign, used pissant bird shot and just likes blowin’ things up. He’s usually drunk and finishing a ride when he has an inspiration to which he can’t say no.

  8. After going to DC for years, and seeing as well as reading some motivating stories, photos, and videos, as well as some of the most tasteless humor and juvenile behaviour, I can say for the first time EVER I am left feeling disgusted and embarrassed for a DC writer. Foolish, just foolish.

  9. Cavey, it’s obvious from your statement that you have no conception of the power of that tree you carelessly pumped shot into. From its size that tree has stood for decades; withstanding the inconceivable forces of nature. Not to mention the ability of that tree to draw ground water from tens of meters deep. Your toy gun may make you feel powerful, but it pails in comparison to the strength of that tree. Those videos make you look like another ignorant american. For your neighbors sake, I hope you picked up all the litter.

  10. I really didn’t think there were as many limp-wristed people over here as the general population has devolved to; I guessed wrong.

    Guns are America. Perhaps a day will come where you will thank one of us that loves them! And in the meantime, mind your own business and be as perverted as you’d like to be in your own bedroom. And we’ll shoot trees we own in private as often as we’d like. It’s the exact same thing your double standard morons.

  11. D. – As a retired Marine, and owner of 26 firearms ranging from flintlock to semiauto, I find your attitude childishly defensive. Tell you what, next time I am attacked by a tree, I’ll call you. Sinclair Lewis said it best “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a bible”. I have no double standard. I use firearms for competition target, hunting, and defense. They are no more or less than a tool. There is an inherent responsibility to use tools correctly and responsibly. Caveman’s actions were neither.
    As to “ownership”, he sure as shit did not print that sign he destroyed.

  12. Why don’t you like “Foot Trail” signs? It makes sense that some trails should have limits to their use.

  13. Crank- So your retired as a trained killer of human life and you are giving me shit for shooting at a tree and a sign?

  14. Idea: Borrow sign. Take to shooting range across from Riverside State Park. Blast away. Replace said sign. Don’t tell anyone. Cheers

  15. if it makes you boys feel better I can assure you I didn’t go steal this sign out of a park- thats not my style. It’s been in a box for over a decade and one of my friends gave it to me before I even lived in Spokane.

  16. Face it Lance. It was a douche move. Just admit it and we can all move cycling into a new and better future.

  17. …nothing but weak sauce, son…

    …defend, justify, all you want but it’ll never amount to anything but weak fucking sauce…

    …& you cooked it up…

  18. This is just country rowdy. They will make more trees and it was on private land. Deal with it pussies.

  19. I have howled with laughter at the irreverance, b-slap retorts from jersey models and dreamt longingly of south-of-the-border fatbike adventures, etc. since discovering this site in the past few weeks. I have not felt compelled to post or comment until now. While I, too, am in favor of unfettered gun ownership & responsible gunplay, this particular sequence has been instructive, destructive & counterproductive at the same time. This post was in stark contrast to last night’s DC.com/facebook posts imploring us to write in support of opening CDT reroute miles to bicycles, providing more fodder for the antis. Discretion is something that should be exercised during these times of access restriction. We, as a group, are better than this. You, caveman, as an individual, are, too – at least based on your posts and comments to date.

  20. This is drunk cyclist not Martha Stewart cycling. It’s funny to see such strong opinions from spandex wearing Sally’s.

  21. hack, 2:22 is the rad part of that interview. Senna is one of my favorite f-1 racers of all times- fucking baller.

  22. ‘ted nougat’ ???…what the fuck kinda name is ‘ted nougat’ ???…

    …fruity, nutty, sticky sweet & calling other people “…sallys…” ???…


  23. “Limp wristed”??? I *just used* this phrase with some friends of mine, as a joke. Everyone laughed. What kind of an Archie-Bunker throwback, we wondered, would use that old epithet? (The joke involved pretending to yell at a cyclist and tell him to go back to California).

    Now we know. Way to represent our sport/way of life, jackass.

  24. I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING LORAX AND I SPEAK FOR THE TREES… this post represents an all time low for DC. totally immature and senseless. really. even if this is your land cavetard, you should give Nature at bit more respect (or at least thought). go back to PHX and stop spoiling the highland, you fucking worthless spore! piss off.

  25. @20

    On Armistice Day, Remembrance Day and Veterans Day around the world, you’re having a go at Crank?

    It’s because of people like him that you get to be ‘manly’ & shoot your mouth & shotgun off.

    From one vet to another Crank, Good on you mate!
    (South African Bush war, 4 tours)

  26. @38

    Okay, things have definitely gone a bit weird.

    If I read that correctly, DC’s resident Troll under the bridge aka Rabid Locals Rule Flagstaffian has just posted something that I agree with in parts, (the respect Nature bit)

  27. Whoa,I hafta side with ol’ Ted…Buncha whinin’ Sallys.Why doncha git in yer cars an’ drive to the gunshop and git yer whine on? Oh,yeah,that’d involve talking to males that produce testosterone.An’ responsible gun ownership? This is DRUNK Cyclist.Drinkin’ an’ shootin’ have a long an’ tragic history in our country.We like it like that.After all,we’re from Arizona,where sure as shit there’s someone who has it in for ya…Aw fuck,I hate nice people…

  28. Lol’ing at the tree and DC content police on the site. Spokie trees are tough, it’ll be fine, and even if it isn’t, it’s his damn tree. Y’all are responsible for plenty of trees dying on this planet even if you didn’t use a shotgun. And I’d wager that Caveman has a smaller carbon footprint than most of you.

  29. @43

    No Cocksucker, I guarantee you, Crank, Myself & all the other veterans on this site are not “Pussies”!

    We’ve seen more shit than you can imagine.

    Maybe you want to grow a pair, man up & admit that you fucked up!

    Sorry, what am I saying? that presupposes some level of intelligence.

  30. Hurben, yep pussies. not to all the vets but you and the rest on this yellow page, yes pussies. Dont be a pussy Hurben, your better then that.

  31. my only problem with this is the poor tree was unwittingly subjected to Heed. Like seriously man WTF did that tree ever fucking do to deserve Heed? Them fucking pellets probably did less damage than the fucking Hammer shit the tree shotgunned….

    Lighten up Francis, it’s still the fucking internet. My mind marvels at the fact you want DC to be PC or hold DC to be a poster site for responsibility, what part of Drunk did you fail to understand?


  32. Sorry Mate,

    Until I see you man up, apologize to Crank & thank him for his sacrifice, you’re just a worthless piece of shit in my book.

  33. …what a lame little bitch you’ve turned out to be, cave…

    …i would a’ thought you’d be intelligence enough to realize what’s up & find a balance that encompasses both your pov & yet shows a little deference to the concern of others who were obviously put off by your actions…

    …but nope, not you…you’ve got your little suckups willing to empower you, so you’re good…

    …gianni hardly bothers with this site any more ‘cuz he’s got bigger concerns, same with el gnomer & the sad thing is they entrusted drunkcyclist to the likes of you…

    …you’re turning drunkcyclist into a “…fail…”

  34. …how ironic to go from something heartwarming like “ode to a friend” only to be followed by caveman crap…

  35. OK. Fuck the tree.

    This vid does nothing but give every anti-biker fucktard out there an excuse to ban us from all trails.

    Not good. We get bitched at enough as it is. Yesterday was gorgeous here in NJ. Went for a short spin on a local rail-trail. A couple bitches on horse back started yelling at me for scaring their animules. They’d ban me in a heartbeat if they could. Why give them more ammo ?

    Drunkcyclist is quite different from Stupidcyclist.

  36. Ben, I mean Caveman, just to make sure I understand, you are unapologetic for your actions. So you wont mind me emailing this link, videos, and conversation to your clients as listed on your webpage? Good to know you stick by your “guns”.

  37. Just kidding. Go fuck yuorself you little child.The slander you profer at Hurben and I was enabled by us going to areas where fags like you dare not tread, and doing things you dont have the balls to do. Enjoy your freedoms. Grow the fuck up man child.

  38. No.
    I didn’t come to DC to see this kind of asinine crap.
    Will someone over at control reel this idiot in?

  39. Caveman did a nice job trolling y’all up. Unfortunately, you knuckleheads aren’t communicating, nor figuring out how to compromise, just more of I’m right and your wrong, left/right, dem/rep, heathen/religious nut, smart/stupid…

    You get the point. I think it is a drinking game for Cavey, for every “for” vote gets a shot of tequila, and every “nay” vote gets a beer (no pun intended until just now about the “shot” of tequila, I would never suggest shooting tequila. Shoot tequila, not trees!)

  40. I smell a clutch burning as some of the loyalists slam her into reverse ….?
    I call bullshit on that, Scott.
    If you’re suggesting it was a troll, then it would have been a particularly stupid date to pull this kind of troll.

  41. When I see a sign like that all shot up I think “what kind of stupid fucker did that”? Now I know. Thanks for making responible shooters AND cyclists look bad.

  42. Isn’t it appropriate that a cave dweller is hypothetically plumbing the depths of the Mariana Trench on behalf of DC?

  43. The one thing that was beautiful out of all of this is, I got all of you goofy fucks that usually argue against each other to finally work together. Damn, I should be a General!

  44. I swear some of you old crusty arguing bitches need a hobby like riding a bike……Rock on Cavey

    p.s. I grow things in my garden mind daily

  45. No more sports outside. Running on the grass might hurt it, and we’ve really got to show more respect to nature. Running in the grass is just selfish, so fuck you. Go to a gym, or a walmart parking lot. Cant afford to lose anymore grass.

    HTFU, fuckers.

  46. p.s. Utmost respect to those who lay their lives on the line so the rest of us can enjoy ours. You make the shenanigans possible.

    Thank you

  47. I am going to go on record and say that I see nothing wrong with getting a little rowdy and blowing up some chemicals in the privacy of your own home.
    Lighten up, boys.

  48. I have to say, I’m a bit perplexed about this one. We’re talking about a metal sign and some gels. It was done in the man’s front yard. With a sign that hadn’t been used in a decade. The tree had a traumatic experience but survived. I guess my point is, with so much stuff we all agree on, why the hell does this even matter?

    I’m going with Dirty on this one. Lighten up, boys.

  49. cut down a scraggly pine to build a pump track in his yard and all y’all would be like “fuck yeah caveman!”

    just sayin.’

    Carry on.

  50. Not one of cavey’s better posts, but meh. I mean, he lives in Spokane. He probably puts less lead into trees than the average person in the area, and a few rounds of bird shot aren’t getting through the bark on a big pine. I don’t know what Heet or Hammer Gel did to him, but whatever. He should own up to his misstep on respecting veterans, but beyond that this post is deserving of a headshake, not a freakout.

  51. @el jefe, D2, Dirty:
    When one of “the lads” pokes the pooch (as in what caveman did here), the decent thing to do is to point it out to him. Politely, tactfully, offline even, but not to “stand by your man” at all costs.
    The nature of the post is deeply disrespectful and his responses generally the same.

    I’ve been a loyal DC follower since about 2006, over the years I’ve sent countless people to the site. I consider myself a DC loyalist. There have been many posts that haven’t appealed to me, but most have. That’s why I used to keep on coming back. Hell, I’ve even distributed the DC stickers all over South Africa and Namibia. Proudly.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think Caveman’s post is crap, but his attitude to those who stated their dislike is what really got to me. It’s the “if you don’t like my stuff then fuck off from this site” rather than “if you don’t like my stuff, that’s OK by me”.

    I’m writing this comment because I care about DC, not to slag off any particular person. I could just as easily have never come back, as I’m sure many have.

    Is DC going to grow or is it devolving into punks with shotguns and pitbikes ? Seriously.

  52. @79: If I thought his post was that bad, I would have pointed it out to him. If you’ll recall, I did that several months ago when I disapproved of a particular word that was used. I’m not above pointing it out if I think we’ve gone too far…

    But as I said, I think Cave’s post was pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things and I think, as one commenter pointed out, that this is a tempest in a teapot. So maybe someone should explain to me, clearly and succinctly, what is so god awful about this post, because from where I’m standing, this entire argument is pretty asinine and befuddling.

  53. @AS,D2, I think that was pretty much my point. We get worked up about the strangest things. It’s not like this was lj tilting potholes…

  54. @80

    Let me try.

    A number of us here felt that a firearm had been used irresponsibly.

    When this was pointed out in a measured, calm fashion by Crank, who identified himself as a veteran & multiple firearms owner & therefore qualified to speak on the subject, Caveman has a go at him for being a ‘trained killer of human life’

    Further down Caveman continues & calls the identified veterans on this post, (Crank & myself), Pussies

    This all done tastefully on 11/11/12 – Veterans day in America, (Armistice or Remembrance day elsewhere), when the fallen are remembered & all veterans honoured.

    It’s about respect, a concept that Caveman has no grasp of.

  55. Hurben-
    I come from a family that has spent time in uniform and I have actually traveled to some of the places the warfare took place. Papua New Guinea was one of them- I’ve gone place you aren’t suppose to go, like the Sepik river area- been up and down that river, been up and down the roads to get there. I’ve been flown out of there due to Rascals knowing we were in the area. I’ve been in Villages that tribal warfare has broken out in the middle of bum fuck during flood season. I did all of this with my Grandfather- all this shit went down before I was even 15 yrs old- I have done a shit ton since then and have seen my fair share of shit. I am calling you a pussy for one reason, because I heard my grandfathers voice speaking to me loudly and I promise you he’s seen a more fucking hell then you can ever imagine. He would of done way more then just call you guy’s a bunch of pussies…

  56. @Hurben: Exactly.

    @Caveman: If you, yourself, not vicariously through your grandfather, had been a vet, I think you’d have responded differently. Just sayin’.
    There’s a book I’d be happy to recommend. Manhood by Steven Biddulph. And I mean that with all respect.

  57. You might want to practice a bit more, looks like you are shooting a little low and to the left. That level of marksmanship just isn’t going to cut it when the evil trail signs rise up and try to take over.

  58. a real lover of vets would say let’s just all keep our eyes on the prize and not send any of our brothers and sisters into harms way

    instead of chest beatin about who’s got more vet in their blood or who better uses their vet skills to represent gun safety

    buncha straw men is what this whole thing is. Straw men. His gun, his tree, his right, his free speech, for your entertainment, or not.

    done and done.

  59. It’s not about guns, gun ownership, vets, etc. Those are side issues.

    It’s about one of the DC “crew” (if you want to call them that) showing absolute contempt for the readers of this site. That, to me, is the offensive bit.

    And no amount of obfuscation will change that.

    Might this just have been DC’s infamous shark jump?


  60. I am so upset to see that Caveman is acting so uncivilized. In fact, I dropped my favorite monocle into my whiskey in shock!

  61. So, I was going to stay out of this but here goes.
    a) calling someone out by their first name of Drunkcyclist is bullshit. If he wants to give up his name cool. Not your choice for him.
    b) shooting a tree is far less harmful to the tree than cutting it down to make a trail, yet I don’t hear all you fucktards complain when you get to shred some gnar that someone else hacked through trees and brush for you to do. Nor do I see you whine about how in whistler, Flagstaff, Colorado a bunch of those trails use trees that were cut down to make the trail line, to make ramps or obstacles for your enjoyment.
    c) Hurben and Crank I get were you are coming from in line of “respect” deserved for veterans, but as a veteran you seriously going to get pissed off about name calling. Fuck supposedly you guys faced rounds, shells, eminent death and you let your thong get twisted about the word “pussy”. “What if someone call’s my momma a whore, am I supposed to take it?” “Is she a whore?” (Roadhouse).
    d) When do people who post video after video, and turn every conversation into car racing, and Senna dick sucking love, get to tell others what they get to post? You all should start a website dedicated to your love of Senna! DrunkSennaVideoWatchingOldGuys.com I know it doesn’t roll off the tongue but you can come up with something good.
    e)Caveman, your tree, your property, your gun. I know it is too much fun to shoot shit. Probably better not to post that to a website for cyclists who tend to be a little sensitive about the environment getting damaged. could of set that shit up in front of a dirt hill and probably would of gotten a better laugh and less anger.
    f) I know this is hypocritical considering I just put you all on blast, but for fucks sake sometimes you just got to let shit slide and hope that the person learns on their own.

  62. This lifted from an email sent by a friend on the other side of the world:

    I’m not going to comment further, we’re not dealing with intelligent reasonable people here that are open to rational debate so it’s just an exercise in futility.

    Time to go.

  63. Oh and one other thing to Cave. You probably knew it was going to piss people off? At least I would of seen that coming. You can’t get all pissy when people start calling you out on it. Just let em say what they want to and go on with your fun. No need to defend your actions if these people won’t affect your life on a daily basis. No need to name call in the process of it either.
    To everyone else i apologize for calling you all “fucktards” Was not cool on my part. I just saw some hypocrisy in we love trails that are cut through forests yet complain about a tree that is still standing. We love freshly paved roads that climb through beautiful scenery, that was even more beautiful before the road was there. It got to me. The crap about Senna not apologizing, people keep complaining about this site needs to be about cycling yet there is rarely no post that doesn’t have a comment about Senna in it. Come on at least show so motto gp stuff occasionally.
    African Single. The only beef I have with you on this, is I have never once seen you stick up for “Joe” and write about how people gang up on him, or give him no respect in his opinion. I have apologized to Joe for doing that exact same thing. It has ostracized one if not more of the readers of this website on many occasion.

  64. @Virgil— werd, brother.

    Imma have to disagree just a little bit about Ayrton Senna. I watched that dude roll through downtown PHX, apexing ninety-degree corners at nearly 90 MPH. The sound of that 900 horsepower Honda V12 making 15,000 RPM, ringing off those steel-and-glass canyon walls was more of a physical blow than sound. I still cannot believe what I saw that day.

    MotoGP? Did yez see Mr. V. Rossi touring Valencia on his 2013-spec Yamaha yesterday? Forze!


  65. Virgil- I haven’t posted in sometime and the senna stuff was new to me. I don’t want that to become a reoccurring topic at all. As for the rest of what ya said, I honor it.

    To be completely honest, I actually had no idea this was gonna piss people off and now I know.

  66. Damn some of you guys are wound too tight. I’m a vet who just retired after 23 years and think this is funny as hell. But what make it hilarious is the reaction of some ignorant people. You know how far bird shot goes into bark? We have bark beetle all over and he probably did more to them than that tree will ever see. Shit we have trees with spikes and fencing in them that are 50 or more years old and they are healthy as hell. Damn some of you people need to calm down. No- actually don’t calm down because this is entertaining