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Todd is a – – Baller, shot caller, Twenty-nine inch blades, on his Swerks-pala. Other riders gettin’ dropped tonight. Spare tube’s rolled tight, gonna stay upright! He hit the SINNNNGLE TRACK, the ladies showin’ they RAAACKS. But there’s gotta be a BETT-ER LINE! A better line. Better line. Yeaaaaa!
Continuing from where we left off with the Cupcake Queen Lea Davison herself, we spotted Mr. Wells out doing some last minute training, on dubs mind you, before he embarks on his Olympic journey. He stopped to answer some questions. Todd’s a friend of DC. Here’s coverage of a little Leadville after party we had last year.
Anyways, without further adieu, Todd Wells everybody: (CLICK HERE)
DC: If you were a stripper, what would your stage name be?
TW: Pumpkin.
DC: When did you give up training wheels and why don’t you use them anymore?
TW: About 30 years ago, can’t use them anymore because it’s a UCI rule.
DC: Speaking of the UCI, why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
TW: Because we drive on the wrong side of the road so it’s only right that we also do everything else backwards.
DC: If a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands butter side down, what happens if you butter the top side of a toasted cat?
TW: I tried that once, the cat scratched me so I never got it airborne.
DC: Why are triathletes afraid of mountain bikers?
TW: All the hair, same reason I’m afraid of a yeti.
DC: Why do they call it a television set when there is only one?
TW: You only have one?
DC: Damn, you are a baller! Do you like turtles?
TW: Only Ninja Turtles.
DC: East coast or West coast?
TW: Neither, Southwest
DC: We know you can party, can you tell us anything about Cactus Cup in 1994?
TW: Cactus Cup ’94 I was partying it up in High School and didn’t even own a MTB.
DC: A likely cover up…There’s a restaurant in Oregon, Marie Calenders, what do you think about that place?
TW: I know that Bart Brentjens and the entire late 90’s Specialized MTB team loved that place, we ate there every night if there was one around.
DC: What are you most looking forward to about the Olympics?
TW: The Mountain Bike race
DC: Anything else you want to leave with?
TW: Thanks for the memories.
DC: No Todd, thank you…
Keep on keepin’ on T-Dub. We’ll be pulling (shots) for you.
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…became a wellsey fan years ago at a local cx race where he was smokin’ the regulars…
…there were few spectators about so it was kinda quiet but i had been regularly cheering him on for his smooth riding style & on the last lap, in a conversational level, i just said “…great ride, dude…”…
…wellsey, still racing, but with plenty of lead, gives me a quick look, a nod & in the same conversational level, replies “…thanks, man…”…
…always struck me as totally cool…
Bicycle related Olympic sports have to be the only sport that a pic of an Olympian throwing back some likker or hittin the stickiest of the icky that doesn’t (shouldn’t) get plastered all over the sets of televisions. If they do, pass that shit and buy them a fuckin clue. If that fails, Master Splinter can fuck shit up. Is he the Chuck Norris of cartoons?
Is them wheels Arrospoks?
krunkcyclist?
DC: What are you most looking forward to about the Olympics?
TW: The Mountain Bike race
That’s fuckin’ funny….